They say that to be happy in your relationships, and more generally in your life, you have to stop having expectations of others. But what does this mean in concrete terms? How do you stop, and where do you start? Here are my 5 tips to help you find the right balance in your relationships to be happier in your life.

1 – Dare to be different to stop having expectations of others

The first thing to do is to accept our differences. It’s time to realize that we’re all different from each other. We don’t have the same personality, needs or dreams. Nor do we have the same qualities or faults.

That’s why we have to stop waiting to be accepted by others. Because others will never really understand us, and things about us will sometimes offend them. So, if we want to be happy in life, let’s accept being different, and therefore accept not being 100% accepted by others.

In fact, understand that your goal in life is not to be accepted by everyone else, but to accept yourself. That’s your goal. So, of course, having the feeling of not being accepted is difficult, painful even. Because it sends us back to a certain kind of loneliness. But it’s the only way to be fully happy in life. So, what are you waiting for?

2 – Learn to do things by yourself and for yourself

If you tend to wait for so-and-so to come and do this thing with you, then you can’t be fully happy in your life, because you’re too dependent on others.

In fact, we’ve been taught to depend on others, to move forward together at all costs, and above all we’ve been taught to be scared to death of moving forward alone, and therefore afraid of solitude.

However, if you don’t learn to do certain things by yourself and for yourself, then you won’t be able to be fully happy. You know this, you’ve already experienced it. So now it’s a matter of taking a deep breath and daring to be more independent and daring to do certain things on your own. What do you think?

3 – Learn to be proud of yourself to stop having expectations of others

The reason why our relationships with others are so conflictual is because we need recognition from others. In other words, we need them to be proud of us, to see us, notice us, hear us, listen to us. And it’s this need that leads us to have such painful relationships and such chaotic lives.

That’s why, when we want to stop having expectations of others, we have to learn, little by little, to be proud of ourselves. Now, that’s rather taboo, isn’t it? We’ve been taught that to be proud of yourself is to become egocentric. But that’s not true!

In fact, there’s nothing more natural, and therefore necessary, than to be proud of yourself. So instead of looking for pride in others, cultivate it in yourself and for yourself! What do you think?

4 – Stop looking for perfect reciprocity and stop keeping score in our relationships

Do you feel you’re giving too much and some people aren’t giving you enough? Does this make you tired? Then, with all your heart, stop keeping score, stop fixating on your need for perfect reciprocity in your relationship. Can’t you see that you’re hurting yourself?

Can’t you stop for a moment and ask yourself: what annoys me most about this relationship or this particular person? Then ask yourself: what do I love about this particular relationship or person?

Finally, make a decision by asking yourself this question: do I still enjoy it? In other words, aren’t I focusing on what’s wrong instead of enjoying what I like about this relationship?

If the answer is yes, then love without counting the cost! In fact, don’t try to make the relationship perfectly reciprocal, try to make it beautiful in its own way. What do you think?

5 – Knowing when to stop a relationship that doesn’t suit you

On the other hand, if the answer is no. No, this relationship really isn’t for me. No, this person is definitely not doing me any good in my life. So, stop staying in this relationship.

Because I’ve noticed that when we try to stop having expectations of others, we can fall into the trap of continuing to maintain relationships that are burdensome, even toxic, for us.

So understand that you’re free at any time to let go of a relationship that’s not doing you any good, or worse, one that’s hurting you. Because having no expectations of others doesn’t mean accepting everything either. Can you see the difference? That’s where your happiness and well-being lie.