Savoring life is something we all too often forget. Indeed, we make sure to do everything with great seriousness. What if we learned to go back to basics, to what makes our life worth living, and live more simply, calmly, joyfully and happily? Here are a few tips to help you do just that.

1 – Savour life: stop intoxicating yourself

Savouring life means, first and foremost, ceasing to fight pointless battles and, above all, ceasing to fight battles that hurt us.

For many of us, insults come easily. We insult motorists, pedestrians and cyclists. We insult civil servants, our boss (behind his back), meat-eaters, vegetarians… In short! Sometimes, insult has become a reflex that’s very bad for our health.

Here’s what Avi, the hairdresser, says in the book “Conversations with my hairdresser”:

“Me, I tell my kids that every time they hurt someone’s feelings, face to face or behind a screen, they’re intoxicating themselves.”

And why? Because hate attracts hate, and anger attracts anger.

So the next time we feel like yelling at someone, let’s think about this: we’re intoxicating ourselves! So let’s not hurt ourselves. Let’s calm down, breathe and take a step aside.

2 – Hugging

In “Conversations with My Hairdresser”, Tal Ben-Shahar shares with us an interesting study on the physical and psychological benefits of touch, whether it’s massages, hugs or caresses.

In fact, touch releases the love hormone oxytocin. This hormone has anti-stress effects and reduces anxiety.

In other words, a hug every day is good for your health. So let’s take advantage of our family, our partner, our children, our parents, but also our friends and why not our colleagues to release oxytocin in ourselves, but also in others.

2 – Giving compliments

Giving compliments is an excellent way of cementing our relationships. Yet we sometimes hesitate to give them. Will it be well received? Yes, as long as it’s sincere.

To enjoy life, we need to have good relationships with others, so let’s think about complimenting those around us on a regular basis. Why not start with a compliment a day?

4 – Donate

“The best thing about taking an interest in others is that it takes your mind off your own worries and anxieties. And that costs a lot less than psychotherapy.”

Sometimes, when we’re not doing well, we feel we need to refocus on ourselves, which is absolutely true. When we’re sad, it’s a sign that we need to take a step back from a lack, we need to reorganize ourselves.

But at the same time, it’s also a sign that we need the warmth and support of others. And what better way to receive warmth from others than to give a little of yourself?

Giving is also receiving. Some even say that when we give to others, we are in fact giving to ourselves.

I agree with that. When we give to others, we feel an enormous sense of joy.

In fact, I’d like to take this opportunity to invite you to accept to receive. When you receive, you’re giving the other person a gift. You’re letting them savour the joy of giving.

5 – Managing your anger

In “Conversations with my hairdresser”, Avi the hairdresser gives us a wonderful example.

We’re in the car, desperately looking for a space. Suddenly, a car starts to free up a space. So we get in behind it and put on our blinker. But just as the car pulls out, a huge 4×4 takes the space right under our noses. So what do we do? Fight? Scream and bang our fists on the steering wheel? Call our partner and tell him what’s happened, using a whole load of swear words?

Avi the hairdresser invites us to imagine the 4×4 as if it were a cow. If it had been a cow, what would we have done? We’d probably have laughed, wouldn’t we?

Replacing one word or image with another is a great way to control your anger.

It’s called affective substitution: replacing anger with compassion or laughter, replacing stress with enthusiasm (a project that frightens us becomes a challenge to take up).

6 – Remember that “those who hurt us suffer”.

I really liked this tip from the book Conversations with my Hairdresser. I was touched by its relevance and kindness.

People hurt us sometimes, by their actions and also by their words. And this is often a signal that they need attention and listening.

“Human beings are naturally good, and in many cases aggressive behavior signals suffering. Those who often harm others need a loving embrace more than anything else, so they stop harming others… and themselves.”

This tip speaks volumes to me. When I’m not feeling well, when something’s eating me up inside and I don’t take the time to listen to myself and do something to take care of myself, well, I tend to get aggressive with those around me. In fact, all I need is a hug to release some oxytocin or a good cry…

And I’ve noticed that it’s the same for those around me. When they’re aggressive, it’s probably because they’re upset or worried about something. I’ll be more vigilant.

7 – Savour life: invest in your relationships

We’ve become accustomed to investing ourselves in our work, studies and hobbies, but not so much in our relationships. Too often we take our emotional ties for granted, but this is not the case.

Those around us need us to invest in our relationships with them too. So let’s make time for it. Let’s savor the moments with them, turning off the cell phone, really listening to them.

Here’s what Avi, the hairdresser, thinks:

“I spent the afternoon with my family, doing nothing in particular. If people put as much effort into their personal lives as they do into their work, their relationships with others would take on a whole new dimension. And they’d live a much better life.

8 – Dream

We need to dream to be happier. We need to dream, but we also need to act to fulfill our dreams.

To dream is to keep hope alive, to give ourselves a chance to evolve.

“Aspiring to achieve a goal is a powerful antidote to depression and sadness in general.”

So let’s dream and take a small step towards our dreams every day.

9 – Slow down to enjoy life

In “Conversations with my hairdresser”, Tal Ben-Shahar presents the hairdressing salon as the ideal place to strengthen our “muscles of slowness”.

Today, we live in a world where fast food is king. Everything has to move fast: from the way we eat and prepare our meals, to the way we fall in love and even make love.

Are we in such a hurry? In a hurry to do what? The best of our lives is right here, right now. Let’s take a breath, become aware of what we’re doing, and savour the simple fact that we’re lucky enough to be alive.

“Man sacrifices his health for money, then sacrifices his money to regain his health. Too worried about the future to enjoy the present, he savors neither. He lives as if he were immortal and dies as if he had never lived. “

10 – Savour life: take a break

Have you ever noticed how we put off all the things that could make us happy until later? Take the trip of my dreams: later! Take that horse-riding lesson I’ve been dreaming of: later! Going to the hairdresser to feel beautiful: later!

Why later? Why not now?

I know we all have goals to reach. That’s good, because that’s what makes us happy too, having the feeling of evolving. But that’s not all!

Avi the hairdresser in “Conversations with my hairdresser” explains that he’s going to close the salon for a week, even if it means losing money, because he absolutely has to go on vacation. Taking a break is essential. And he adds:

“Even if I live to be a hundred, I don’t feel like exploring the Great Wall of China in a golf cart; I’d rather climb the steps four at a time.”

Let’s stop thinking we’re immortal – we’re not. So, if you have dreams and can make them come true now, even if it means taking a “break” from something else, do it!

Learn more to love life

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Learn to relax: 3 easy-to-practice routines
Discover How to live a more fulfilling life: the 3 pillars of happiness

I suggest you read this inspiring book on the same subject:

Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar
This book could help reshape the brokenness in our world. I am so grateful to have found her work and am now dedicating my life to using what I have learned to change my life and the lives of those around me!
I enjoyed every page of this book. I really felt it and found it full of wisdom. It’s very useful for developing your own “philosophy of life”. Moreover, the book is neither too long nor too short. Every sentence is well balanced.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.