Relationships with others are often conflictual. In fact, the words of others are often harsh, full of criticism and make us doubt ourselves. When what we need, on the contrary, is comfort and reassurance. So how do we deal with the aggression of others? How can we cope better with criticism and negative remarks? Here’s some advice that’ll do you good and help you to calm your relationships.

Don’t give in to anger

We tend to respond to aggression with aggression. We find it logical and even necessary. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In this life, we have to understand that to receive what we need, we have to vibrate it first. In fact, we don’t receive things, we attract them with our vibrations.

So, if we vibrate aggression, we’ll receive it again and again.

This doesn’t mean accepting all behavior and becoming too nice again.

But it does mean stopping inflicting harm on yourself by feeding aggression yourself.

After all, you’re not doing it for others, but for yourself.

So, to react to the aggressiveness of others, be silent. In other words, don’t add anger or aggression to what is already present in others.

To do this, take a deep breath. Take as many as you need to avoid giving in to anger.

Exhale and inhale calm.

When faced with aggression from others, don’t try to justify yourself

When someone is aggressive towards us, it seems unfair. Especially when that person is a close member of our entourage.

Thoughts come to mind such as: “After all I’ve done for her”. Stop!

Because you’re going to start trying to justify yourself and you’re going to get into a “game” that’s going to exhaust you and, perhaps, even destroy you.

It’s important to understand that a person who chooses aggression as a mode of communication is not at all in a listening posture.

They’re expressing their aggression and need only one thing to fuel it: your justifications.

So be silent. Take a breath.

Understand that there’s no point in trying to be heard right now. You won’t be, so save your energy.

In fact, wait for the right moment to come back to what’s been said and what you need to say about it.

Don’t doubt yourself

We need to understand that an aggressive person has great difficulty communicating.

In fact, it’s not necessarily a mean person, but rather a person who behaves badly. They don’t know how to express themselves.

So, there are some people who intend to do harm, and the only solution with these people is to get away from them. No more, no less.

So, back to those aggressive people who behave badly, who let their anger boil over and express themselves violently.

Don’t doubt yourself, ever!

As we’ve just said, the problem isn’t you, it’s them. They have a problem communicating and managing their anger.

So don’t doubt yourself, your qualities and your value.

Remember that when people speak to you aggressively, it’s not your fault, it’s theirs.

Stop reacting, choose instead

To be happy in life, to feel good about ourselves, we need to understand that there will always be aggressive people.

And in the end, the problem isn’t their presence, but the way you react to them.

Why do you let them have such an impact on you, your mood and your well-being?

Because if you expect to have only calming, soothing relationships, then you’ll never be happy. Or you’ll end up all alone, at the end of the world, and you won’t be happy there either.

So it’s a question of choice: who do you choose to be in this life?

A person who says she’s a victim of other people’s aggression and can’t be happy because of it?

Or do you choose to be a happy person despite everything, despite the aggressiveness of others?

It’s up to you to choose, because happiness is the art of choosing what we want to focus our attention on: what hurts us or what makes us feel good.

Faced with the aggressiveness of others, refocus on yourself

Other people are too important in our lives, and in our thoughts too.

In fact, all we think about is them, what they’ve said to us, what they’ve done to us… how can we be happy and feel good about ourselves this way?

So, it’s time to learn to refocus on yourself.

To do this, stop thinking about other people and think about yourself. Instead of thinking “he, she, they”, think “me, I”.

Remember your goal

Other people have too much impact on our lives. In fact, as soon as someone is aggressive or unfair, we get all worked up.

But isn’t your aim to be happy?

So stop making your sense of happiness dependent on what other people do and say, and set out on the road to happiness!

Choose benevolence and compassion

And then, at some point, we have to stop seeing others as our enemies.

Okay, some people are aggressive, and that’s really not nice. But are we going to take up arms against them, to make them our enemies?

Do you think that’s the way to find happiness?

Happiness is found in kindness and compassion. So let go. Lay down your weapons, your anger, your sense of injustice.

Just breathe.

And nourish the emotions and feelings that make you feel good.

Letting yourself be crossed by the aggressiveness of others

What’s more, we don’t have to be walls against which the aggressive words of others crash violently.

In fact, you can dodge or allow yourself to be crossed by other people’s aggression.

Don’t let it get to your face, let it get to your heart.

Faced with the aggressiveness of others, feed yourself with positive vibes

If you’re so affected by other people’s aggression, it’s because you’re not feeding yourself enough positive vibes.

So, instead of dwelling on other people’s aggression and lowering your energy and happiness levels, feed yourself with positive vibes.

To do this, do things that you enjoy, that make you feel good. As often as possible! This is the key to responding to other people’s aggression with a light touch.

Use other people’s aggression to become even stronger

Besides, who said that everything in life had to be perfect to be happy and at peace?

There will always be aggression, but you can still be a happy, calm person.

In fact, use yesterday’s and today’s aggression to become stronger.

You’ve already heard everything that’s going to be said tomorrow, so it shouldn’t affect you anymore and stop you from being happy.

So show yourself strong, because you are!

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Stop conforming to other people’s expectations: My best 5 tips
Discover How can I distance myself from toxic people? 7 tips

I recommend this inspiring book:

Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt

This memoir chronicles the author’s impoverished upbringing and the personal assaults his family faced. It delves into the themes of survival and the weight of external pressures.

I’d been wanting to read this book for a long time, and I liked it because it’s an easy read and the author tells a series of anecdotes about his life in poor Ireland, despite the hardships, it has comic overtones.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself