We never know what to do about the nastiness of others. Should we react or say nothing? But the hardest part is what’s going on inside us. Indeed, hurtful remarks are like poison and spoil our lives. So how can we stop letting hurtful words get to us? How can we free ourselves from them? Here are my tips to help you find your inner peace.

Stop questioning yourself because of hurtful remarks

The worst thing about hurtful remarks is not so much the words themselves, but their power over us. Indeed, we’ve grown up with the fear of disappointing others, with the irrepressible need to please others. That’s why, when we receive a negative remark, we question ourselves.

In other words, we question our actions or our way of thinking. In fact, we start from the premise that we’re wrong and that we need to change quickly, because the negative remark proves that we’re not good enough, that we need to improve. Stop!

Can’t you see you’re being manipulated? Why should you be so afraid of disappointing others? Can’t you see that this is the problem? The problem isn’t you or the other person, it’s your fear of disappointing, your need to please at all costs.

So, to free yourself from the poison of hurtful remarks, you need to understand that it’s normal not to please everyone, and even to disappoint others. So stop constantly second-guessing yourself as soon as you receive a criticism, and you’ll see how much more zen and gentle your life will become. So, what are you waiting for?

Stop brooding over hurtful remarks

I’ve noticed that we tend to brood over hurtful words. We torture our minds and hearts trying to figure out how it happened, what we did wrong to deserve it and how to avoid receiving hurtful remarks in the future. Stop!

Can’t you see that it’s you who’s hurting yourself? Why are you brooding about things that hurt you?

So what can you do? Do something that makes you feel good, that soothes you or go for a walk, go for a run. Do something and get out of your negative, poisonous mental ruminations. Understand that you don’t need to analyze anything. It just happened. And you don’t have to change anything about a hurtful remark.

Just remember not to let yourself be manipulated. You’re you and you’re good enough. It doesn’t matter what some people think or what they say.

Accept your imperfections and even your flaws

I think that perhaps what hurts us most about hurtful words is becoming aware of our imperfection. Yes, we’re imperfect, we make mistakes and we have flaws. And that’s not always pleasant to hear. It’s only natural.

So what do we do with our imperfection? In the wake of hurtful remarks, we need to learn to accept our share of imperfection. To accept it with kindness and compassion. In fact, don’t try to change it right now, don’t feel ashamed or guilty.

What’s more, understand that changing in response to hurtful remarks is the worst way of wanting to change. If you want to change, to improve in certain areas, do it. But do it for yourself, not in relation to others, especially people who take it upon themselves to say mean things to you.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to feel good about yourself? 7 secrets for rediscovering and loving yourself
Discover Don’t be afraid of other people’s opinions: 8 tips to free yourself

I recommend this inspiring book:

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

The main character, Melinda, is confronted with isolation and bullying after a traumatic experience. The novel delves into her journey towards recovery as well as the discovery of her voice.
The protagonist is an amazing character in her ability to have a witty and amusing inner monologue when so much is weighing on her.
I’ve enjoyed other books around the same theme, but this one consistently ranks highly in my bookshelf.

This book chronicles the true story of Chris McCandless, who cast aside society’s expectations and set out on a journey of self-discovery in the Alaskan wilderness.
What you ultimately draw from the book is a reflection of who you are.
It’s more than a book. More than a story. It’s a memoir of how to really live…
Great book!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself