We drag our past, our wounds, our disappointments and our failures behind us. It holds us back, even completely ruins our lives. So how can we free ourselves from our past? How do we do it? Where do we start? Here are some useful tips to help you just leave your past behind and move on.

Decide to stop making excuses for not moving forward

Our past is often like a ball and chain that we drag behind us, but this ball and chain has its advantages.

It quickly becomes our favorite excuse for staying where we are. Yes, where we are isn’t very comfortable, it’s even pretty sad, but we don’t really have the energy to move forward.

That’s why our past becomes a gold mine, because it provides us with a whole bunch of false good excuses for not doing what we should be doing to be fully happy in our lives.

Because, yes, being happy often requires us to make an effort. We have to go out and find that dream job, and build and nurture that love relationship.

So, to free ourselves from our past, we first have to check that we really want to free ourselves from it.

In other words, do we really want to be happy in this life and therefore make the necessary efforts to do so?

To check that you’re ready to free yourself from your past, listen to yourself. Do you often say “yes, but” when you dream about a project or a desire?

I want to find love, yes but… I want to change jobs, yes but…

If you recognize yourself in this, realize that all your “yes buts” are false excuses and that you can, that you are capable of, finding solutions.

I want to find love, so I’m going to learn how to have more self-confidence. I want to change jobs, so I’m going to start a skills assessment.

Turn your “yes buts” into small, constructive actions. This is the first step to freeing yourself from your past.

Decide to become the best version of yourself

It’s true that in the past we’ve lacked self-confidence, made mistakes and made “bad” choices.

In fact, quite often, we take an extremely critical and harsh view of the person we once were. Stop!

First of all, understand that it’s far too easy to hold a grudge against the person you once were. It’s too easy, and it’s unfair.

Because it’s thanks to your mistakes, your choices that weren’t always wise, that today you have a better idea of what you want and don’t want in your life.

So, replace your negative judgments with gratitude. Yes, be grateful for the person you once were.

What’s more, feel compassion for the person who did his or her best. Yes, you did your best, at every moment.

Now, to free yourself from your past, it’s essential to choose to become the best version of yourself.

To do this, instead of defining ourselves by the person we once were, we can choose to define ourselves by the person we dream of being.

In fact, stop seeing yourself as weak and worthless. Instead, imagine yourself becoming the strong, enlightened person you want to be.

And become that person one day at a time.

Because to free ourselves from our past, we have to stop letting it define who we are today and what we’ll be tomorrow. What do you think?

Face your fears to free yourself from your past

We don’t know what to do with our fears. In fact, it’s as if we believe that fear isn’t normal in this life.

But nobody ever said that. Quite the opposite, in fact. Because fear is part of life. It’s because we’re afraid that we move forward.

In fact, when we stop being afraid in our lives, it’s because we’ve fallen asleep.

So, yes, being afraid isn’t comfortable. But it’s even more uncomfortable when we refuse to face it.

Our past is full of disappointments, bad news and difficult moments. And, over time, we’ve collected fears. They accumulate.

So, to free ourselves from our past is to free ourselves from our fears.

It doesn’t mean pretending not to be afraid. On the contrary, it’s about facing up to our fears and daring to confront them one by one.

I think the fear we need to face first is the fear of disappointment. Indeed, when our past weighs so heavily on our lives, it’s often because we’ve been disappointed in the past.

And that’s normal. Yes, it’s normal to be disappointed by life, by others and even by ourselves.

Disappointment is part of life, because very few things go as planned. The problem is, we’ve been led to believe that we have to protect ourselves from disappointment at all costs.

Yes, disappointment hurts. But giving up hope for fear of disappointment hurts even more. What do you think?

That’s why the third step to freeing yourself from your past is to face your fears one by one.

To do this, ask yourself, “And if I weren’t afraid, what would I do differently?” And, start somewhere. One day at a time. One fear at a time.

Believe in yourself to free yourself from your past

Believing in yourself doesn’t mean believing you’re like Superman, perfect.

No, believing in ourselves is believing in our ability to learn what we need to learn, and to do our best at every moment. No more, no less.

It’s not about perfection, it’s about learning.

We can learn anything, whatever our age. Sometimes it will take longer than we thought, sometimes it will require us to find financial solutions, to organize our time…

But we can learn.

In fact, the reason why our past spoils our lives so much is that we forbid ourselves to learn.

We’re content to define ourselves by our past, our past knowledge and our past failures. Stop learning!

Life is about moving forward and learning. So move on and learn!

Keep hope alive and free yourself from the past

So now we’re at the final stage of leaving your past behind, and here it’s all about hope.

Because too many of us let our wounds and failures of the past make us lose hope.

And when we lose hope, we lose everything. Indeed, we need hope to move forward; it’s our driving force.

So how do we find it again when we’ve lost it?

Listen to what others have to say about you and life in general. Listen to testimonials. See a shrink or a coach.

It’s because you listen too much to your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that you lose hope.

Open yourself up to other ideas and beliefs. Get out of your own thoughts.

In fact, learn to see your life differently. What do you think?

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Don’t know what to do for a living: 5 tips
Discover Wanting to change your life: 5 tips for successfully changing your life

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Joan Didion reflects on the sudden death of her husband and the illness of her daughter. She grapples with grief, memories and the process of letting go of the past to embrace the present.
A perfect book, written with dedication. An excellent writer and journalist. A deeply researched investigation of grief and death. The editing is beautifully done. It’s a pleasure to read a book in this category. A journalist ahead of her time and a pioneer in her style. An author of great sensitivity to what it means to lose loved ones. I’ve also experienced two deaths at the same time, on the same day, at the same time and at home, but in another country…. Only Didion could experience and transcribe the pain of losing two loved ones at the same time. A book to read and meditate on. I highly recommend this book. It’s a psychological help, with straightforward language, for the death of a loved one.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself