How to calm your anger? Anger is an unwelcome emotion, both at work and at home, because it’s synonymous with violence and fear. So we avoid it and keep it to ourselves! Yet anger is useful and even positive. In fact, it’s anger that pushes us towards change, towards self-assertion and therefore, towards a happier life. I’d like to share with you 3 tips for calming your anger.

1 – Calming your anger: gaining some distance

When everything in our body and head is screaming with anger, it’s urgent to get some distance. The easiest way to do this is to physically distance ourselves from the situation that’s making us angry.

Yes, let’s take a 2-3 minute walk, get in the car and go for a drive…

Indeed, anger tends to take hold of us, and we can be led to say or do things we’ll regret later.

That’s why you need to distance yourself when you’re angry!

It’s only when you feel calmer and more at peace that you can come back to the situation and say what you want to say or do what you want to do.

2 – Put things into perspective

When we’re angry, it’s hard to think straight. In other words, we tend to exaggerate and generalize.

How about putting things into perspective?

To do this, when you feel anger rising, take a moment to project yourself 5 or 10 years into the future and imagine the impact of the current event that’s making you angry.

Is it really that bad?

No ? Then breathe (laughs).

In fact, calming your anger means knowing how to put things into perspective.

3 – Calming your anger: reviewing your expectations

When we’re angry, it’s a sign that one of our needs isn’t being met. Basically, we had an expectation, a desire, and reality disappointed us.

That’s why it’s important to ask ourselves these questions: Was my expectation realistic? If not, what would be a more realistic expectation now? What ultimately matters most to me?

Sometimes, we tend to be a bit temperamental when it comes to other people and life itself. However, just because we’ve decided that something has to be this way, or that someone has to behave this way, doesn’t mean that it will be…

4 – Putting your anger into words

When you’re angry, it’s as if a geyser is pouring out of you. It’s powerful! And it prevents us from seeing things clearly.

Why am I angry?

What do I need?

Sometimes the answers aren’t very clear.

That’s why you need to take the time to put into words what’s going on inside you, what you really need, right now.

This will not only calm your anger, but also help you make better decisions.

5 – Calming your anger: distraction

When we’re angry, it’s not the right time to say or do anything. Yes, our number-one priority is to calm down!

So let’s get into the habit of distracting ourselves when anger intrudes.

For example, pick up a book and read a few pages, go online and watch a funny video, do some cooking or gardening.

In short, to calm your anger, it’s important to focus on something other than it.

In other words, do something else so you don’t dwell on it, so you don’t feed it.

Find out more about managing your emotions

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to stop losing your temper: 4 tips for calming down
Discover How to calm your stress? Live a more peaceful life

I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

Anger: Taming the Beast: A Step-by-Step Program for Managing Anger Calmly and Effectively by Reneau Z. Peurifoy, Tom Gallagher

This book features practical insights, including cognitive-behavioral tactics, to help you understand and manage your anger.
This book is outstanding. It will help you understand where anger comes from and committing enough to work on better anger management. If you’re willing to give this book the time it deserves, it’s a very powerful tool for “taming the beast”.
I didn’t think I had anger issues when I first started reading it, but I found myself doing a lot of thinking, not only about anger, but also about other emotions and where they come from.
The language is very straightforward, which makes it quite easy to understand the concepts outlined. The chapter structure is logical and highly organized. At the end of each chapter, there’s a summary of key ideas and recommended activities. I suggest taking them seriously and putting them into practice, if you are truly committed to changing your life.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.