Meditation is the promise of a moment that feels good, that brings us peace. In practice, however, this is not always the case. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves when it comes to meditation, and soon this moment of relaxation becomes a moment of stress. So how can we practice with complete peace of mind? Here are 6 tips.

1 – Meditation: stop putting pressure on yourself

Meditation is a practice that puts pressure on us, because it’s a far cry from anything we’ve learned to do.

We haven’t learned to sit still and think of nothing. On the contrary, we’ve learned to run around and think more and more.

Descartes’ famous “I think, therefore I am”.

That’s why, when we practice meditation, it often turns into a moment of torture.

Because we’d like to sit up straight on our meditation mat or cushion, we’d like to have a serene face, and we’d like to let our thoughts pass before us without listening to them.

But in reality, this is not the case.

In fact, our bodies start to itch, our legs seem to want to move on their own, we feel hot, we feel cold, our backs ache…

What’s more, our thoughts seem to be increasing in number, and we sometimes listen to them for minutes on end.

But what if this is normal? What if we were simply learning?

Indeed, if you want to practice meditation and reap its benefits, it’s essential that you understand that there’s a learning phase.

At first, it will be difficult, then a little less so, and one day, it will be easy. That’s just the way it is.

So stop putting pressure on yourself and remember that you’re learning a new practice and it’s worth it!

2 – Praise yourself rather than criticize yourself

When we start meditating, we’re taught that we can concentrate on our breathing, on the air flowing in and out of our nostrils, or on the movement of our abdomen as it inflates and deflates to the rhythm of our breath.

We’re told that we should let our thoughts drift past us like clouds.

But what happens most often during our meditation practice?

We listen to our thoughts and forget to concentrate on our breathing.

And then, after a few seconds, sometimes even a few minutes, we return to our breathing.

What happens then? We criticize ourselves harshly.

What if we congratulated ourselves instead?

Indeed, meditation, especially at the beginning, is not about keeping our concentration perfectly, it’s more an exercise in constantly returning to our concentration and therefore to our breathing.

Can you see the difference?

In fact, meditation is the art of coming back to yourself again and again.

In other words, rather than saying to yourself: “Oh no, I’ve been listening to one of my thoughts again, I’m really hopeless”, you can say to yourself: “Great, I’ve just come back to my breathing. I’ve managed to stop listening to my thoughts and come back to the present moment. I’m making progress.”

Remember, you’re here to learn. So learn by congratulating yourself, because it’s much more enjoyable and much more effective.

3 – Meditation: allowing yourself to have fun

Here again, we haven’t learned to learn by having fun. Instead, we’ve been taught to be serious, to follow instructions and stick to them.

But meditation isn’t like learning a subject at school. In fact, meditation is first and foremost a gentle moment you allow yourself, an enchanted interlude, a gift you give yourself.

In other words, don’t be too serious during your practice. On the contrary, allow yourself to have fun.

In fact, the aim is for you to look forward to sitting on your mat, to learning, to progressing, but also to discovering.

So allow yourself to explore different practices, and allow yourself to practice meditation in different places, at different times.

4 – Stop having too many expectations

Meditation is a practice that will bring you serenity in the moment, and it will gradually teach you to become less attached to your thoughts and thus a more zen, less stressed person.

That said, don’t expect it to be magic. In fact, don’t expect too much.

The learning curve will be long, so it will take some time for the benefits to fully radiate into your life.

In fact, very often, when we start meditation, we want it to be magical, instantaneous, we want to be a more zen person already.

And that’s why we end up giving up, because we’re disappointed by the results.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you not to harbor too many expectations, and instead to see meditation as a gentle moment that you allow yourself on a regular basis.

5 – Remember that you’re already a good person

We haven’t learned to accept ourselves as we are. In fact, we were too often told as children, at school and at home, that we could do better and that we had to change this and that in our character and behavior.

That’s why, today, we spend a lot of time rejecting ourselves. In effect, we say to ourselves, “I should be more like that and less like this.”

What if we accepted ourselves?

For me, meditation is just that. It’s a moment during which we sit down with ourselves, a moment during which we stop listening to our guilt-ridden thoughts to offer ourselves a moment of peace with ourselves, a moment of acceptance.

In other words, I wholeheartedly invite you to repeat beautiful phrases to yourself, before, during and/or after your meditation:

“I’m already a good person.”

“I love and accept myself as I am.

In fact, it’s not uncommon for us to start meditating, because we don’t think we’re good enough and we think meditation will change us into a better person.

Of course meditation will bring us beautiful things, more peace and serenity, but let’s remember that we are already beautiful people.

And, to meditate is to take a moment to live at peace with ourselves.

Meditation is no longer about rejection and struggle, but about accepting ourselves wholeheartedly.

6 – Meditation: learn to start again

Like any new habit, it’s not easy to stick to it. In fact, it’s quite possible that you meditate once a day for 3 days, then don’t practice at all for a week, and by the time you remember, you’re thinking: “I knew I wouldn’t make it. I’m hopeless.”

And, you give up.

Why don’t you start again?

I still don’t know where our need to give up comes from when we don’t keep our commitments. Indeed, I find it completely mad. Because we can start again rather than give up.

Is it our tendency to criticize ourselves, our lack of self-confidence? Or both? Quite possibly.

But really, it’s a shame to give up instead of starting over.

Because if we’ve had this desire, this need, this dream, this goal to take up meditation, it’s because there are good reasons to do so.

So let’s do it again. As many times as necessary.

I speak from experience. After all, I’ve been meditating for 5 years now. And I’ve been doing it again and again for 5 years now. (laughs)

To that end, I remind myself that I’m not here to do things perfectly, I’m here to learn, grow and evolve, and I don’t care how long it takes.

What’s more, I tell myself that I’m not meditating today for tomorrow. I meditate today for today. Because tomorrow is another day. Only today counts.

So don’t expect to be a yogi in 2, 3 or 5 years. In fact, don’t expect anything other than a sweet moment with yourself, again and again.

So, meditate and do it again if you need to.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to free yourself from negative thoughts with Ho’oponopono in 3 steps
Discover Meditation: 6 tips for practicing in complete serenity

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

This classic by Thich Nhat Hanh introduces the transformative practice of mindfulness meditation. The book provides practical ideas and exercises, guiding readers towards cultivating a heightened awareness of the present moment. It explores the profound impact of meditation on mental well-being, offering a path to inner peace, stress reduction and a more meaningful connection to life.

This is one of my favorite books on spiritual guidance. Learn to approach and see all of life from a contemplative, appreciative, restful, connected, spiritual and deeper perspective. A real encouragement for those who know they need help and for those who don’t.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself