What do you do when you’re not feeling good about your relationship and your life? We think about divorcing, but doubts arise. Will we really be happy on our own? Is it just a bad patch? And sometimes it’s the consequences that scare us. In fact, we’re afraid of divorce. So here are 3 questions to ask yourself before making the decision to separate! Questions to help you see things more clearly and feel more confident.

1 – Am I happy in my life? is a question to ask yourself when you’re afraid of divorce.

I’ve noticed that we make a mistake: it’s not because we love our life partner less that we’re unhappy, it’s because we’re unhappy that we love our life partner less.

Can you see the difference? Can you see how this could change everything? So, before you get divorced, it’s time to take charge of your own happiness!

Because if you don’t feel happy right now, chances are you won’t feel happier when you get divorced. In fact, understand that when we don’t feel happy in our lives, our first instinct is to find someone to blame. And who better than our partner in life?

So, if you’re so afraid of divorce, first ask yourself if you’re not blaming the other person for everything that’s wrong. It’s okay, it’s human nature to react this way. Just don’t make that mistake anymore and take your happiness into your own hands. You’ve come to the right place for that (laughs).

2 – What’s really bothering me in my relationship with my partner?

To get a clearer picture and gradually free ourselves from the fear of divorce, it’s a good idea to list in black and white the things that are currently bothering us in our relationship.

To do this, take a sheet of paper and make a list of everything that’s bothering you, that’s making you angry, sad or stressed. This is your moment to lament, so make the most of it! (laughs) Make a list of everything you don’t like.

After you’ve made the list, go for a 20-minute walk or do something else for 20 minutes. Then reread the list and ask yourself for each thing you’ve listed, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much it bothers you.

Giving a score will help you put things into perspective, but it will also enable you to pinpoint the key points that are really bothering you, so that you can discuss them with your partner.

3 – What are the reasons why we loved and married? is a question to ask yourself when you’re afraid of divorce.

We make the mistake of believing that being happy in life means being happy 100% of the time. But being happy doesn’t mean that everything’s going well, it means that there are more things going right than wrong. Yes, happiness is knowing how to put things into perspective and focus on the positive. The problem is that, very often, when things are bothering us, when we’re tired or too worked up, we can’t keep things in perspective and focus on the positive.

And this is what happens when we want to separate, but are afraid of divorce. We only focus on what’s wrong, and that’s why we can’t see things clearly.

So take a leaf and go back a little (or a lot). What did you appreciate most in your partner at the beginning? And what, today, if you looked at the other person more kindly, could you still appreciate in him or her?

Seeing the other person’s qualities doesn’t mean we won’t get divorced, but it does mean we’ll be able to do so in a much better frame of mind. Because we’re often afraid of divorce because of the negative feelings it will create. That’s why this list can help.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Letting go in love: 3 ideas for a healthy relationship
Discover Learn from your mistakes in love: 4 steps to follow

In addition, I recommend this inspiring books on the subject:

This Is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe
This book offers a reflective and compassionate perspective on the difficult process of ending a relationship and moving on.
No matter if you are dealing with a recent breakup or simply are looking to better understand the process of moving on, this book can bring you support and understanding.
I find it difficult to convey what this book means to me. I bought it shortly after a terrible heartbreak. And what can I say? I don’t know where I’d be today if I hadn’t read it. This book brought me back to life. The author has created something truly brilliant.
I highly recommend it to everyone!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.