What do we do when we’re dependent on the gaze of others, on their approval, on their very presence? What do we do when the other takes up all the space and we end up stifling our own needs for fear of abandonment or rejection? Here are 5 powerful tips for overcoming emotional dependence and becoming freer and happier.

1 – Recognizing the symptoms of emotional dependence

It’s not always easy to recognize emotional dependence. In fact, it can take many forms, and can only be expressed through contact with certain people.

That’s why it’s essential to observe your own behavior.

Do I feel a constant need to be in the presence of this person? Does his or her behavior and mood have much influence on my own behavior and mood?

Do I find it difficult to be alone? Do I constantly need to be reassured or complimented by certain people?

If you tend to answer yes to the above questions, then you may be suffering from emotional dependence.

First of all, take a deep breath. It happens to everyone, every day.

That’s why we’re not here to make you feel guilty or ashamed. On the contrary, cultivate kindness and compassion towards yourself.

What’s more, keep in the back of your mind the hope that you’ll get through this.

2 – Learn to love being alone to get out of emotional dependence

Emotional dependence sets in when we have difficulty being alone. In fact, it’s because we have a constant need to be in the presence of certain people that the relationship becomes less and less healthy.

The problem is that we haven’t really learned to be alone. Worse still, we’ve learned that when we’re alone, others will point the finger at us: “You don’t have any friends” or “How lonely you are. Don’t you like people?

In other words, in our society, not being surrounded by people is an opportunity to be laughed at. That’s why it’s so easy for us to fall into emotional dependence.

And if you want to get out of it, then it’s time you gradually learned to change the way you look at solitude and to enjoy being alone.

I’m not saying constantly, but from time to time.

Because it’s in solitude that you get to know yourself, and therefore appreciate yourself. What’s more, it’s in solitude that we become more independent and more ourselves.

So set aside a few moments of solitude each week.

3 – Learn to better manage your emotions to regain serenity

We haven’t learned how to manage our emotions, so we’re often helpless in the face of them.

That’s why we need other people to calm us down. And that’s where emotional dependence can set in.

So learn to manage your emotions better. Yes, you can learn.

In fact, you’re perfectly capable of soothing your anger without needing to vent to others. You can get through your sadness without needing constant reassurance.

So, of course, receiving encouragement, a hug or a listening ear is really nice. But it doesn’t have to be compulsory.

That’s why, the next time you feel a strong emotion, isolate yourself for a moment and ask yourself how you feel and what you need to do about it.

4 – Communicate your needs to dare to be yourself and get out of emotional dependency

Emotional dependency gradually leads us to keep our own needs to ourselves, and to listen to and satisfy only those of others.

Why do we do this? Because we have a vital need for others, so the fear of abandonment and rejection drives us to put ourselves at the service of others, to please them.

Communicating our needs, however, doesn’t mean becoming a spiteful person and running away from them, but it does mean taking the risk of receiving a “no”. And, for us, no is synonymous with rejection.

So, to get out of emotional dependence, it’s time to dare to communicate your needs and stop trying to be too nice.

To do this, simply understand that it’s vital to try to satisfy and communicate your needs. You can’t go on forever putting yourself in the background of your relationships.

Because you’ll tire yourself out and others, or you’ll attract really unhealthy people.

5 – Expand your social circle to become more independent

To get out of emotional dependence, it’s a good idea to maintain a few more social relationships. That way, you’ll feed your need for contact in more ways than one.

Because that’s how emotional dependence develops, when one person becomes the center of our universe.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to better manage your emotions: 5 steps to a more serene life
Discover Understand your emotions to live more serenely

In addition, I recommend this inspiring books on the subject:

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

An vital self-help book for people who find themselves repeatedly in a cycle with toxic partners.
This book is a beacon of hope and inspiration for anyone seeking to break free from the cycle of emotional dependency and reclaim their lives.
And if you’re as tearful as I am, you’ll probably cry every other page as you realize how much you needed this book in your life. The author has done an excellent job of putting into words what I only knew I felt before this book: understanding yourself CHANGES your life.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.