Conflicts in relationships often stem from communication problems. Indeed, we find it extremely difficult to communicate with others, and we make far too many mistakes. So how can you improve your communication skills to avoid conflicts, and even resolve them if necessary? Here are 5 tips to help you communicate more effectively and build healthier, calmer relationships.

1 – Active listening for better communication

First of all, I’ve noticed that for healthy, effective communication, you need to take the time to understand the other person.

Indeed, it’s important not to jump to conclusions or make assumptions. Because there’s nothing worse than communicating with someone who thinks they know everything and doesn’t take the time to listen.

So don’t make this mistake, and make sure you listen carefully.

To do this, practice active listening. It’s a technique that consists in listening to the other person without interrupting, without trying to convince them or justify yourself.

In other words, you listen to the other person right to the end. And if the other person fails to talk about their feelings and needs, don’t hesitate to ask them clear, specific questions.

2 – Have a clear message to avoid conflict

Conflicts often arise because we fail to express ourselves properly. That’s why it’s essential to have a clear message.

To do this, take care to express clearly how you feel and what you need. In other words, make your request clear.

For example, if you need help, make it clear that you need help and how the other person can help you.

In fact, effective communication means stopping waiting for others to guess what you need before expressing it clearly.

This advice just changed my life by greatly improving my relationships. So what are you waiting for?

3 – Choose the right moment to avoid conflict

We get into conflicts with others because we don’t always choose the right moment to communicate with them.

Here’s a simple but essential rule to follow to improve communication and avoid conflict. Before starting to express yourself, ask the other person if he or she is available. If not, agree on a specific time to come back to the discussion.

Because it’s important to understand that the other person isn’t always available to receive your message, and that there’s often a right moment to find! At the risk of creating a conflict that could easily have been avoided.

4 – Use “I” rather than “you” to improve communication

I’ve noticed that this is perhaps the most effective piece of advice, and yet the one that’s hardest to follow.

Indeed, in our communication, we talk a lot about the other person, lending them intentions, without ever talking about ourselves.

And yet, if there’s one thing you can talk about with real authority and sincerity, it’s yourself. The rest is just dangerous supposition.

So, if you want to improve your communication and stop creating unnecessary conflicts, start by using “I”.

5 – Show benevolence to improve communication

Here again, I’ve noticed something incredible. It’s that we’re surprised when others misunderstand our messages, when in fact we’re totally lacking in benevolence.

Indeed, we frequently address others in an aggressive, suspicious way, as if they were almost our enemies, so let’s stop being surprised that they take what we say badly.

In fact, to improve communication, we absolutely must invite benevolence into our words, our thoughts and our posture.

To do this, we have to stop seeing others as annoyances, as people who don’t understand anything, or worse, as people who want to hurt us on purpose.

Stop! Take a deep breath and stop attributing so many bad intentions to others. Instead, show more benevolence. Understand that others are often awkward and have difficulty communicating. No more, no less.

This advice has really improved my communication and relationships considerably, so go for it!

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Active listening: 4 steps to making others happy
Discover Caring communication: 3 tips to adopt

In addition, I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce
Harold Fry, having recently retired, is off to post a letter to an old friend, but ends up wandering around England on foot. Along the way, he reflects on his background and the relationships that have shaped him. This novel delves into communication, understanding and redemption.
It’s a story that touches your heart, making you rethink your life, your relationships, the people around you.
A great book!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.