Some relationships do more harm than good. Yet we have trouble recognizing the signs of a toxic relationship. Precisely because we’re in a toxic relationship. In fact, that’s where the difficulty lies. That’s why here are 10 signs to watch out for and a guide to recognizing them.

1 – The other gives us a lot of direction

A toxic partner will try to control the way we live, the way we dress for example, but he or she will also choose our schedule, our choice of friends and even the family members we can see or not.

In fact, he or she has an opinion on everything about us.

This can seem quite pleasant at first: the other person is interested in us. But it can get out of hand.

In this article, I’d like to stress that we need to take all these signs with a grain of salt.

In fact, just because you recognize one or more of these signs doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is toxic.

Make sure you listen to your feelings first. Because the signs can also simply be little flaws that you may exaggerate when you’re feeling less well in your life.

Indeed, the other person can quickly become our tormentor when we’re desperate to find someone to blame for our malaise.

That’s why it’s important to talk to a professional, someone completely outside the situation, to make sure we’re not on the wrong track. We may even be manipulated by someone close to us.

2 – Criticism is also a sign of a toxic relationship

Your partner regularly criticizes not only your actions, but also your personality. He or she blames you a lot, and lets you know that you could behave better and be a better partner for him or her.

In fact, you feel that you’re not good enough, that you’re inferior. And this is one of the signs of a toxic relationship.

3 – Excessive jealousy is also a sign of a toxic relationship

Does your partner regularly accuse you of cheating on him or her? Does the other person go through your things on the pretext that he or she’s worried or that you’re behaving strangely? Is he or she clearing his or her name by telling you that if you have nothing to hide, then he or she can go through your things?

Then this is one of the signs of a toxic relationship.

4 – The other person tries to isolate you

To recognize the signs of a toxic relationship, we need to listen to the other person with a certain distance.

Has your partner been constantly criticizing those closest to you, your family members, your closest friends?

It’s important to understand that the other person has no right to influence what you think or feel about another person.

In fact, you’re capable of having your own opinion and feeling your own emotions, and you have every right to do so.

So if the other person is constantly criticizing the people you love, it could be a toxic relationship in the making.

5 – There may be verbal abuse

Here we come to a blatant sign of a toxic relationship: verbal and even physical abuse.

This often happens quite late in a relationship, when it’s well established.

When this happens, don’t hesitate to get help from a professional: perhaps your GP at first, but also a mental health professional. Get help.

6 – Feeling devalued is one of the signs of a toxic relationship

Have you noticed that the other person is constantly putting you down? Minimizing your qualities and strengths? Maybe he or she is even making you feel useless, even incompetent?

If so, this could be the sign of a toxic relationship.

7 – There’s no communication between you

Here again, this is a blatant sign that the person is toxic, unhealthy or even manipulative.

In fact, the other person refuses any constructive conversation. He or she forces you to guess what to do.

He or she may even say things like: “If you love me, you should know.”

Making you feel this kind of doubt and vagueness, dodging all forms of communication, is the sign of a toxic relationship.

8 – In a toxic relationship, you may also notice cycles

There are always cycles in a relationship, just as there are in life. But in a toxic relationship, the cycles are much more pronounced and follow each other in quick succession.

Constant ups and downs. Sometimes, several times a day.

If you never know where you stand with your partner, that’s also a sign of a toxic relationship.

9 – Feeling dependent is another sign of a toxic relationship

It’s obvious that, over time, our partner becomes important to us and our equilibrium. But there’s still a certainty deep down that we’ll be okay, that we’ll get back on our feet.

But in a toxic relationship, there’s so much dependency that this certainty no longer exists.

This dependence can be financial, emotional or even physical.

10 – The other person manipulates our emotions

Do you feel a whole host of emotions when you come into contact with your partner, emotions like fear, anger, guilt, sadness?

If you take a step back, do you notice that your partner is manipulating your emotions to get you to do certain things?

Then it’s a sign of a toxic relationship.

Those are the 10 signs to watch out for. If you recognize several signs, first of all, take a step back. Are these signs constant in the relationship, or does your partner behave this way from time to time? If it’s constant, if it’s repetitive, then get professional help. Don’t wait.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to save your relationship? 5 mistakes to avoid making
Discover How to communicate easily? Best 4 tips for better relationships

In addition, I recommend this inspiring books on the subject:

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond by Patricia Evans
This book contains in-depth information and tips for identifying and dealing with toxic relationships, whether they involve emotional abuse, manipulation, control or other harmful behaviors. This book can help you gain clarity about your own situation, acknowledge red flags and make enlightened decisions about your relationships.
It was incredibly validating and deeply insightful.
I highly recommend this read to everyone. It can help you, it can help you help a loved one.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.