It’s time to say goodbye to toxic relationships. But how do you distance yourself from toxic people? What strategies should you adopt? And above all, how can we avoid doubting or letting ourselves be fooled? Here are 7 powerful tips.

1 – Setting clear limits to distance yourself from toxic people

What are you willing to do out of friendship and love? How far do you want to go, and how far do you not want to go?

Have you asked yourself these questions before?

Are you willing to move at any time and at the last minute? Are you willing to look after so-and-so’s children, or to spend 1 hour a day on the phone listening to so-and-so talk about his or her problems?

Because it’s essential to understand that most of the toxic people around you aren’t bad people, they’re just behaving badly.

And you’ve been subjected to these bad behaviors and so, without realizing it, you’ve accepted them and perhaps even cultivated them. So there’s no question of feeling guilty. Not at all.

But now it’s time to set your limits. To do this, take out a sheet of paper and write down all the things, behaviors and situations that weigh you down in your relationships.

Write everything down, and then ask yourself for each thing you’ve listed whether or not you’re okay with continuing it, and why.

Doing this exercise will help you see things more clearly and understand yourself better. And, it’s only when you know what you accept and what you don’t accept in a relationship that you’ll stop having toxic relationships in your life.

2 – Learn to say no

Once you know your limits, it’s time to learn how to say no. And here, there’s no magic wand. There’s just a 3-letter word: “No”.

“No, I’m not available” is a phrase that will help you distance yourself from toxic people.

Don’t justify yourself, just say you’re not available for such-and-such. No more, no less.

Saying no is a fundamental right. And it’s because you don’t give yourself this right enough that you maintain so many toxic relationships.

What’s more, if you’re afraid someone won’t take no for an answer, ask yourself: do you want to be in a relationship with someone who won’t take no for an answer? Do you really think you’ll be truly free and happy in this relationship in the long term?

Then understand that knowing how to say no is a wise way to see which people you’ll be happy with in a relationship, and which ones are toxic to you.

3 – The art of dodging to distance yourself from toxic people

We all have toxic people around us, but they’re also people we love dearly or can’t stop seeing for good.

So what can we do?

In these moments, it’s a matter of learning the art of dodging. That is, analyze the moments when these people adopt their toxic behavior and dodge them then and there.

Example: someone usually calls you every Sunday evening to complain about their love life. Make sure you’re not available on Sunday evenings.

4 – Make other commitments

Too often, we fill the gaps in our diaries with the people we know best, but who can be toxic.

So find other things to do, make other commitments. Take a course, work on one of your projects, for example.

5 – Surround yourself with more positive, caring people to distance yourself from toxic people

When we’re around toxic people too much, they’re all we see. What if you had positive, caring people around you? Why not see them more often?

What’s more, you can always seek out people whose company is more pleasant. In new places, workshops, courses, associations, for example.

6 – Don’t let guilt make you doubt yourself

Because you’ve probably learned to be too nice, to please, not to hurt, it’s hard to distance yourself from toxic people, even though that’s what you want.

That’s why don’t let your guilt make you doubt your desire, your need to detach yourself from toxic relationships.

To do this, remember that you have the right and deserve to be perfectly free to be yourself and to be happy in your relationships.

So, if some of your relationships are weighing too heavily on your morale, give yourself permission to distance yourself. Do it for yourself, you have every right to.

7 – Don’t be fooled into distancing yourself from toxic people

It’s possible that some people won’t accept the limits you set for them, and others won’t like it when you evade them. So they’ll complain, and make you feel guilty too.

Stand your ground! Don’t be fooled.

Because you don’t have to put yourself at the service of others and suffer for it.

After all, a healthy relationship is a free relationship. And, if you don’t feel free, if you feel that you’re not in a sincere and free exchange, then you have the right to say stop. Just do it!

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to recognize a toxic person: 5 signs not to be missed
Discover The 10 signs of a toxic relationship: a guide to recognizing them

In addition, I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry by Albert J. Bernstein

Very good book about difficult people. Very humorous too, thank goodness, because these people can be very destructive! It helped me relax.
If you’re struggling with people who seem to be emotionally sucking the life out of you, this book is like a survival manual. The author explains the different types of “emotional vampires” and gives you the tools you need to deal with their depleting habits. It’s not just about identifying these vampires, but also about empowering yourself with strategies to protect your emotional energy.

Thank you so much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.