When our relationships are conflictual, when we regularly get angry with people around us, then it’s a sign that we tend to take things too much to heart. So how can we regain our composure so we can have calmer relationships and a sweeter life? Here are 3 tips to stop taking things personally.

1 – Stop trying to protect yourself from everyone and everything

First of all, it’s important to understand that when we take things personally, we’re protecting ourselves.

So, sometimes there’s good reason to protect ourselves, but very often there’s not.

The problem is that we suffer wounds without always realizing it. Wounds of abandonment, rejection and injustice, and these wounds push us to protect ourselves from each other, and sometimes even from the people closest to us.

This protection pushes us to say or do things out of anger or fear, which are not the best advisors when we let them express themselves in any way.

In other words, we destroy our relationships by trying to protect ourselves. And, by destroying our relationships, we’re destroying ourselves.

So how do we stop taking things personally and stop protecting ourselves from others at all costs?

To do that, you need to realize that you don’t need to protect yourself from others. You really don’t.

Because others don’t have the power to hurt you. In fact, it’s you, by taking things personally, who gives them that power.

Let’s take an example: a colleague comes up to you and says “I don’t like your red shirt, it doesn’t suit you.”

Your colleague isn’t saying “I reject you” or “I abandon you”.

She’s giving you her personal opinion on your outfit. So, of course, it’s not pleasant, but does that mean you need to protect yourself by letting your anger or fear of not being loved any more out?

Understand that you don’t have to protect yourself from other people’s personal opinions – they’re just opinions.

The question to ask yourself is: do you intend to continue protecting yourself from everyone and everything for much longer? Do you really feel that it’s working, that it’s making you happy?

If not, stop! It won’t happen overnight, but work on it a little every day.

2 – Relax to accept other people’s remarks

Once we’ve realized that we no longer need to protect ourselves from other people’s opinions, the next step is to relax and accept other people’s comments.

Indeed, taking things personally means getting angry or scared as soon as someone makes a criticism about us.

How about lightening up a bit?

Understand that other people have the right to be unhappy, even disappointed. And you don’t have to make a big deal of it every time.

Because we’re all different, we all have different ways of doing things and thinking.

That’s why you’ll always get remarks from others.

When you realize this, when you accept this, then you can stop taking everything personally.

Someone’s not happy? Ask them why, but relax. In fact, stop believing that the earth stops turning because you’ve made a mistake or because someone isn’t happy with you.

3 – Do a little soul-searching to stop taking things personally

What drives us to take things personally is that we’re constantly doubting ourselves and our worth.

In fact, we always assume that we’re not good enough, which is why, as soon as someone starts saying something negative about us, we fall into personal drama.

Stop!

It’s time for a little introspection to realize all your qualities and even your faults.

In fact, you need to realize what a beautiful person you are despite your imperfections, and even because of them.

Finally, it’s time for you to realize that you’re not here to be perfect – that’s not the goal, your goal.

So, when you feel that you’re taking things too much to heart, take a deep breath and come back to yourself.

Remind yourself that you’re a beautiful person.

Stop harboring doubts about yourself, stop believing you’re a bad person, that you’re worthless. That’s just not true.

What’s more, when people make remarks about you, they’re not telling you that you’re a bad person and worthless. They’re just telling you that this outfit doesn’t suit you, or that they’d prefer you to e-mail them this way, or whatever.

When someone criticizes you, they’re not questioning you or your worth, they’re questioning something very specific. Can you tell the difference?

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Living with gratitude: 4 simple but magical tips
Discover How to stop letting hurtful remarks get to you ?

In addition, I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

The Magic by Rhonda Byrne
This book is about the Law of Attraction and specifically revolves around gratitude. It offers a 28-day step by step guide with day-to-day exercises to nurture gratitude in different aspects of your life.
I followed it to the letter. It’s NOT difficult, it doesn’t take too much time. In fact, I integrated it and found that my life changed radically.

Thank you so much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.