Toxic relationships are very much a part of our lives. Relationships that tire us more than they nourish us. Relationships we spend a lot of time nurturing… What if we freed ourselves from them? Here are 4 steps you can take to put an end to toxic relationships.

1 – Recognizing toxic relationships

What are toxic relationships? These are all relationships that wear us down over time. Relationships that stress us out, in which we “put up” with people.

We don’t always realize that we’re in toxic relationships, or we hide the truth from ourselves.

Because we justify some of these toxic relationships. Indeed, it’s not uncommon to say of someone: “Our relationship is complicated, but you understand I have no choice…”

Why would we have no choice?

Because this person is a relative, someone we’ve known for many years?

There’s no question of obligation here – quite the contrary, it’s a question of choice!

If you enter into a relationship thinking you have no choice in the matter, then it’s surely a toxic relationship.

Every relationship should be based on the notion of choice, of freedom.

I choose to maintain this relationship. I’m free to have this relationship or not.

Do you see how different that is?

2 – Forgiving and forgiving ourselves

Once we recognize that we’re in a toxic relationship, it’s important to forgive. Forgive the other person and forgive ourselves.

Realizing that we’re in toxic relationships with people can come as a shock. Anger and resentment can quickly take root in our hearts.

Instead, I invite you to forgive and forgive yourself.

Experiencing toxic relationships is human. It happens to everyone. You didn’t do it on purpose, and neither did the other person. It just happened.

In a relationship, there are always two of us. It’s nobody’s fault in particular. In fact, there is no fault. There’s simply a past.

Today is not the past, and you can make sure that it doesn’t become a purgatory for that past.

Free yourself from anger and resentment. Put the word “forgiveness” in your heart and on your lips. It’s gentler on the soul and far more life-giving.

Because you can build on forgiveness, but not on anger.

3 – Free yourself from toxic relationships

Now that you’ve recognized that you’re in a toxic relationship, and chosen forgiveness over anger, it’s time to free yourself. But how?

To free yourself is to offer yourself the choice of no longer maintaining the relationship.

To break free is to choose our happiness.

Because we’ve just realized that this relationship is doing us more harm than good, we free ourselves.

There’s nothing wrong with that, quite the contrary, it’s a cry from the heart that aspires only to happiness and peace.

To free oneself is simply to take a step to the side.

There doesn’t have to be an explanation or a long speech, just an “I don’t feel like it anymore”.

A “I’m free to leave”.

Because we are free!

We’re not obliged to do anything – it’s we who make ourselves believe otherwise.

So, sometimes, we stay in toxic relationships because we’re afraid of what others might think of us if we stop.

But more than the way others look at us, we’re afraid of the way we look at ourselves.

Yes, it’s hard to accept that we’re not that kind, caring person, that person who’s always there for others, family and friends.

And yet?

First and foremost, we have to free ourselves from our own gaze. Accept that we’re not perfect. Accept that to be happy, you can’t be that perfect person.

Because happiness, your happiness, needs you to make choices. Choices that aren’t always obvious, but choices that are liberating, that create joy and that take you away from the stress of some of your relationships.

Make this choice, make the choice of your happiness. Free yourself from that which prevents you from being happy.

4 – Start again and again

Because we’re human, we’ll brood, we’ll fall back or we’ll start again, and that’s perfectly normal.

Experiencing toxic relationships is a difficult thing to go through. It’s not always easy to get back up.

That’s why we have to repeat steps 1, 2 and 3 over and over again.

Acknowledge once again that your relationship is toxic. Forgive and forgive ourselves. Then, free yourself.

In life, it’s necessary to do things over and over again. To come back and do them again. It’s only natural.

So give yourself time.

Don’t ask too much of yourself. Accept that it hurts. Accept that it haunts your thoughts.

Trust that, little by little, these toxic relationships will become less and less present, less and less of a burden in your life.

One step at a time!

Remember that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Accept the journey, accept the process.

Freeing yourself from toxic relationships doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen, and that’s the most important thing.

Remember that the only relationship that depends entirely on you is the one you have with yourself. So take good care of yourself. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and love yourself with all your heart.

Learn more about:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to recognize a toxic person: 5 signs not to be missed
Discover How can I distance myself from toxic people? 7 tips

I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

This novel delves into the toxic relationships within the powerful Vanger family and the intricate interplay between the main characters, Mikael Blomkvist and Lisbeth Salander.
The novel’s plot is extremely gripping and well-written. The author manages to maintain suspense and mystery while immersing me in a complex and disturbing family history.
Overall, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” is a captivating thriller with an impressive main character and a masterfully crafted plot. I recommend this book to anyone looking for a stimulating and exciting read.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.