How can you be happy as a couple? How do you find happiness as a couple? Because sometimes living as a couple is synonymous with arguments and even boredom. What can you do to keep the flame alive, to rediscover your complicity? Here are 5 ,things you can do to make your relationship happy and solid.

1 – Being happy as a couple means being happy on your own

Above all, to be happy as a couple, it’s essential to know how to be happy on your own.

We all know that. But what does it mean to be happy alone?

It means knowing how to take care of our own happiness, and no longer believing that it’s the other person’s responsibility to make us happy.

Because happiness doesn’t come from outside. Happiness always comes from us.

That’s why it’s essential to learn to be happy alone. If you’re already in a relationship, you can learn. And that’s what I’ve done.

In fact, in 2017, my relationship was going very badly, not least because I wasn’t happy. And when I decided to learn to be happy, little by little, my relationship improved.

And now that I’m happy on my own, I’m happy as a couple.

2 – Complementarity and common ground

To be happy as a couple, I think complementarity and similarity are important.

Because, often, we tend to oppose the two. Some people think we have to complement each other. While others think it’s better to look alike in order to live as a couple.

What if we could find a happy medium?

In fact, I think that complementing each other is important in the sense that the other will help us to grow in certain areas.

And I think it’s especially important to be similar when it comes to passions. Indeed, if we don’t like anything the other likes in the long run, it will be complicated.

In concrete terms, if you only like seaside vacations and the other only likes mountain vacations, one will never really fit in.

In other words, to be happy as a couple, it’s essential to find a person with whom you share certain things in common, but not only that.

3 – To be happy as a couple: know yourself

To be happy as a couple, it’s essential to know yourself.

Indeed, if we don’t know ourselves, how can we explain to the other what pleases us, what we need?

How can we give direction to our lives, or even be happy on our own?

So, what does it mean to know yourself?

It means knowing your tastes and passions. It means knowing your qualities and flaws, and becoming aware of your wounds and patterns of behavior.

Because we all have wounds and we’ve all created methods of protection that will have a big impact on the couple.

For example, are you a person who shuts down in the event of conflict or, on the contrary, who loses his temper?

Are you a person who opens up too easily, or the opposite?

Or do you tend to be emotionally dependent, or do you find it hard to show your attachment?

You do all these things to protect yourself. You don’t want to hurt the other person, you don’t do it on purpose, these are your patterns.

Unfortunately, when you’re in a relationship, this can be a real burden. Too heavy.

In other words, it’s your responsibility to get to know yourself, become aware of your behaviors and, little by little, do your best not to let them get in the way of your relationship.

4 – Not wanting to change the other person

We think we can change the other person, because we think we can change ourselves.

We even think we have to change, because we’re not good enough.

In fact, we’ve learned to think that way, and that’s why we have so many problems with our relationships today.

In fact, we’re not here on earth to reject ourselves and others.

We’re here to accept and love ourselves. Just as we are.

Are you stressed? Anxious? You think you have to change or you’ll lose your loved one and never be happy?

Why not learn to love yourself and that part of you that’s stressed?

Do you think you’ll change by rejecting yourself?

It’s the same for the other person. Stop trying to change them, stop making remarks and criticisms. Stop rejecting them.

Love him as he is. Love everything about him.

Because it’s love that heals, not rejection.

5 – Being happy as a couple: express your needs

We tend to wait for others to guess our needs. We say to ourselves, “If he or she loves me, he or she should know.”

Wrong!

Yet we’ve learned to think like this, because as children we were taught to satisfy our parents’ expectations, to do as they wished.

In fact, we didn’t learn to express our needs and desires.

That’s why, to be happy as a couple, it’s essential to learn to express our needs.

Let’s stop thinking that it’s up to the other person to guess our needs, just because they love us.

The other person isn’t a mind reader.

So express your needs: “I need…, I’d like…, could you…?”

Learn more about:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Couples’ arguments: 3 powerful tips for calming them down
Discover Getting off to a good start in a relationship: 6 tips to adopt

I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

“The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Search for True Love by Ty Tashiro
This book explores what relationship research says about finding happiness with a partner. This is a well-written, well-researched book that anyone looking for true love would do well to read.
It succinctly demonstrates that traditional methods of evaluating potential partners are not always fruitful. It also serves as a guide to thinking critically about what you really want from a long-term relationship.
Easy to read and packed with remarkable peer-reviewed material. A wonderful and informative read!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.