We all make mistakes, but sometimes some mistakes lead to more suffering than others. And, to be happy in love, it’s high time to stop making those mistakes that hurt too much. Here are the 3 main ones.

1 – Stop having bad relationships

I think the thing that drives us most into bad relationships, especially toxic ones, is the fear of being alone.

In fact, we’d rather be badly accompanied than alone.

So this is often unconscious. But this fear leads us to make a serious mistake, and it’s high time we realized it.

That’s why, if you want to be happy in love, ask yourself if you’ve been in a relationship in the past because you were afraid of being alone.

Maybe that’s even the case now.

This isn’t about being ashamed of yourself or calling yourself a loser. It isn’t.

In fact, it’s simply a question of being aware of reality and stopping letting this fear of being alone drive you to make bad choices and thus maintain bad relationships and, worse still, lead a life that doesn’t really make you happy.

So how can you stop having bad relationships and be happy in love?

Face your fear of being alone.

Understand that being alone doesn’t mean not being loved, not being worthy of love.

What’s more, don’t listen to those people who would have you believe that you can only be happy as a couple – it’s not true!

Yes, I’m telling you that being happy in love doesn’t necessarily mean being in a couple.

In fact, being happy in love also means knowing how to make yourself available for a beautiful relationship.

2 – Stop chasing the wrong person to be happy in love

Too often, we lament the fact that the person we love doesn’t love us or doesn’t love us anymore.

So we run, we get attached to that person.

What if it was our fear of being alone that struck again, and if it was also a whim of sorts.

As if, because we’ve decided that we love this person, this person must love us.

No. That’s not how it works.

In fact, to stop making this mistake and stop wasting time and finally be happy in love, it’s essential to understand and accept that we can’t please everyone.

That’s just the way it is.

So if someone doesn’t like you, or even runs away from you, stop chasing them. Stop hurting yourself.

Besides, ask yourself why you insist on loving someone who doesn’t love you back?

When other people do and will. Isn’t that a waste of time and suffering you’re needlessly inflicting on yourself?

So, of course, we can’t control our love, we suffer when it’s not shared in return, but instead of running after that person, come back to yourself. Take care of your pain and sorrow.

And find your joy, your inner peace with the people who love you.

Because, yes, being happy in love also means knowing how to savor the love that people already have for us, it means taking care of them, offering them our love, instead of wanting at all costs to offer it to someone who doesn’t want it or who is selfishly taking advantage of it.

I love this quote: “Stop chasing the wrong person. The right one won’t run away.”

3 – Stop constantly doubting your relationship to be happy in love

So, being happy in love also means knowing how to be happy as a couple.

Unfortunately, we spend all our time doubting our relationship. Does the other person love me?

We analyze the slightest change and get anxious. Again, unnecessarily (laughs).

Worst of all, we keep our doubts and anxieties to ourselves. Indeed, we don’t enter into dialogue with the other person, we don’t try to clear up misunderstandings, to express our doubts and needs.

No, we wait, we make all kinds of plans in our heads. I know all about that (laughs).

But I’ve learned to stop making that mistake.

I’ve learned to stop analyzing my relationship, to accept the ups, downs and changes.

And I’ve learned to communicate, to stop kidding myself by expressing my doubts and needs.

For me, that’s what being happy in love is all about: choosing to see our relationship as solid rather than spending our time finding, and even inventing, reasons to prove to ourselves that our relationship isn’t solid.

In fact, it’s this confidence in our relationship that enables us to ask the right questions and know how to communicate.

I also think it’s essential to stop comparing our relationship with other couples.

Stop believing that there are standards to be met, boxes to be ticked.

Your relationship is what it is, and it will be what you want it to be. Provided you communicate, and make the effort too.

Too often, we have doubts, but do nothing to change things. We wait for the other person to change or for the situation to magically change.

In fact, if you don’t change, nothing will. That’s the key to being happy in love, and the key to everything.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Active listening: 4 steps to making others happy
Discover Being happy as a couple: 5 things worth doing

In addition, I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilber

Regardless of whether you’re dealing with personal struggles or aiming to self-improve your mental health, this book can provide precious insights into the transformative power of compassion.
This author has not skimped on science or detail, yet remains approachable for the general reader. It is structured in such a way that the reader becomes familiar with the theory behind the practice of compassion before being shown how to practice it. This has made me much less skeptical and more willing to apply it in my life!
Loved it!

Thank you so much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.