How to keep the flame alive in your relationship? It’s not always easy to feel fulfilled in our love life, with all the stress and obligations piling up everywhere. But it’s essential. Because, little by little, without care, love runs out of steam. So I invite you to follow these 7 tips to reinvite love into your daily life.

1 – Speak the same language as the person to keep the flame alive

Are you familiar with the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman ?

In this book, the author explains thatin love, we have a very particular language. There are 5 of them:

service: if that’s our language, we need others to do us favors to feel loved.
gifts: we need to be given gifts
time: we need our loved one to spend quality time with us.
touch: we need love to be expressed through physical contact.
sweet words: we need to hear pretty words of love to feel loved.
Take a few moments to find out what your preferred language is. You may have several, but there’s sure to be one you prefer.

According to Gary Chapman, we’re all making a big mistake. We tend to express our love for others not in their language, but in ours.

In other words, there’s a misunderstanding between the couple. A woman who needs gifts will give them to her husband, while he needs kind words. He, on the other hand, will offer his wife sweet words that won’t bring her as much happiness as a gift. And both will feel frustrated.

So I invite you to find out what your language is, so you can tell your partner and ask him what his is. Now you know how to love each other!

How do we keep the flame alive? By discovering what’s really important to each other.

2 – Celebrate every holiday to keep the flame alive

Yes, parties are commercial, yes, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries is an expense… But it’s still important.

It’s important because it’s a good opportunity to celebrate love, to take time together, to take stock, to remember what’s important: our relationship.

Yes, our lives move fast, yes, money doesn’t fall from the sky, yes, romance can be ridiculous, but let’s make the effort. We won’t regret it.

Let’s celebrate love, as often as possible. Let’s take a break to celebrate our relationship.

How do you keep the flame alive? By celebrating love regularly!

3 – Make your relationship a priority

“If people invested as much in their personal lives as in their work, their relationships with others would take on a whole new dimension. And they’d live a much better life.” Tal Ben-Shahar – Conversations with my hairdresser

I think this quote says it all. Let’s invest as much time in our relationship as we do in all the other areas of our lives.

Being in a couple doesn’t mean waiting for the vacations to go for a hand-in-hand stroll. No. We should make time every week for a romantic stroll, a meal in each other’s eyes, without the television taking up all our attention.

How about planning a special outing with your other half every week? It doesn’t have to be grandiose, it doesn’t have to take all day, but at least 1 hour together is important.

How do you keep the flame burning? By spending quality time together, scheduling it if necessary.

4 – Maintain physical contact to keep the flame alive

Our other half is not a piece of furniture. It’s not part of the décor. It needs care and attention.

That’s why I’m inviting you to follow a rule from now on , an important rule: always say hello and goodbye to your other half, and kiss him or her with eye contact .

Our relationship is essential to our lives, but all too often we forget it. We’re caught up in stress and obligations. We have to move fast, fast. But the other person may not always wait. Give them those special moments: a hello, a goodbye, a smile, eyes meeting and a kiss.

And sex is important too. Many of us say we’re too tired… Too tired to celebrate love in one of the most beautiful ways?

What if we learned to go to bed a little earlier for a cuddle?

How do you keep the flame alive? By taking the time to really kiss and make love regularly.

5 – (Re)declare your love

At the beginning of a relationship, we have no filters. We talk openly about our love. But, as time goes by, a kind of embarrassment sets in, and we cling to false excuses for not doing so: ” Why declare my love to him or her, it’s okay we’ve been together for 5 years, he or she knows that I love him or her?!”

Yes and no. Love needs to be heard too.

So, I invite you to send a surprise email or text every now and then, to whisper I love you at bedtime… Declare your love. Be a parrot! It’s so nice to hear these words, be generous.

How do you keep the flame alive? By saying I love you regularly.

6 – Forgiveness

Perhaps the worst thing we can do to keep our love intact is not to forgive, to constantly remind our other half of mistakes, to make him feel guilty, to put him down and to tell him that he has not acted well in the past.

Of course the other person can make a mistake, a big mistake. And, at that point, you have every right: the right not to forgive and therefore to leave the person, or the right to stay and therefore to forgive.

In a relationship, keeping score, recalling past mistakes, breaks everything.

If you decide to go on with someone, do it from the heart, with love, and forgive him or her completely.

How do you keep the flame alive? By stopping dwelling on the past and forgiving.

7 – Love yourself to keep the flame burning in your relationship

To be happy as a couple, to keep the flame burning, we need to love ourselves, to take care of our own happiness. Because the other person can’t do it for us. Yes, he or she can make us laugh, reassure us, motivate us, give us gifts, tell us he or she loves us, but the other person can’t make us happy.

So be happy. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. With all your heart! That way, you’ll give yourself the best chance of a long and happy relationship.

Learn more about:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to find love: 10 useful tips
Discover The 50 most beautiful quotes about love to share without moderation

I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
Despite being essentially a novel of self-discovery, the story also addresses the impact of relationships and love on personal development. It delves into themes of commitment and the sacrifices made to keep a bond alive.
I couldn’t stop reading this book. So well written, the characters are so compelling.
The story is captivating, funny and sad at the same time. It’s not your typical romance book, but I loved reading it.
I’ve already ordered more for friends and family.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.