Feeling betrayed is a feeling that devours everything in its path. We doubt everything, even ourselves. What’s more, the questions swirl around in our heads. We’d like to forget, understand or deny… In fact, we don’t always know what we want, except to feel better. So how do we overcome betrayal ? Where do you start? Here are my 9 keys to rebuilding after a betrayal.

1 – Accepting when things go wrong

Betrayal hurts. Because anger, sadness, stress and a whole host of unanswered questions make us suffer. The problem is, we’re tempted to deny this pain. In fact, our ego sometimes pushes us to adopt this “not even bad” attitude.

But until the pain is accepted and heard, we can’t overcome the betrayal and rebuild ourselves. That’s why I invite you to accept that you’re in pain. To do this, plunge into your emotions and let them flow through you consciously.

You can, for example, go and question each of your emotions: why am I sad? Why am I angry? You can also write down all the questions you ask yourself on a sheet of paper. Listen to your suffering and put it into words. That way, it’ll be heard and you’ll be able to move on more easily.

2 – Don’t try to understand to overcome a betrayal and rebuild yourself

Surely the most painful thing about betrayal is the unanswered questions. Why were we betrayed? What did we do wrong? How could the other person? But we don’t know the answers, and we probably never will.

So, with all my heart, in order to rebuild yourself, stop trying to understand what you can’t understand. Stop torturing yourself.

In fact, understand that you need to work on acceptance rather than analysis. In other words, try to accept what is, rather than trying to understand. Because seeking to understand will only plunge you into suffering, whereas seeking to accept will help you overcome the betrayal . What do you think?

3 – Don’t think of yourself as a victim

To rebuild and overcome betrayal, we need to take back the power! The problem is that the pain of betrayal drags us down and keeps us in the role of victim.

But you need to stop seeing yourself as a victim so you can get back on your feet and rebuild. But how do you do that? Get out of the story. You don’t realize it, but you’re reducing your life and yourself to the event of betrayal. But you’re much more than that, and so is your life. So get out of there, get some height. What do you think?

4 – Accepting the other’s freedom to overcome betrayal and rebuild your life

It’s obvious that betrayal is a wound. But there are times when we need to put things into perspective. In other words, we need to take a step back to ease the pain and rebuild our lives.

Indeed, we feel all the more betrayed when we forgetthat the other person is free to break commitments and promises at any time. Yes, the other person is free. And understanding and accepting this allows us to take a deep breath and perhaps play things down a little. What do you think?

5 – Ask yourself: what about me?

If overcoming betrayal is so difficult, it’s because we focus far too much on the other person, and on their intentions in particular. What if we focused a little more on ourselves?

And what about you? In fact, I invite you to take stock of yourself, of your life. So that you can start thinking about giving your life a new lease of life. Yes, you’re suffering at the moment. But not all the time. So, in the moments when you’re feeling a little better, start thinking about new life goals. What do you think?

Remember that your life doesn’t end here. On the contrary, this betrayal is an opportunity for you to give more meaning to your life. So, what are you waiting for?

6 – Taking care of yourself to overcome betrayal and rebuild your life

Nothing’s going right, so we let ourselves go. Stop! It’s precisely when things aren’t going well that we need to take care of ourselves the most. So take a deep breath, get up from your bed or couch and go do something that makes you feel good.

Start with something small, just for a few moments. Then do it again! Don’t let yourself go, don’t give up and take care of yourself! What do you think?

7 – Trust and move forward

The wound of betrayal obviously leaves its mark. But that’s no excuse for not trusting and moving forward.

Don’t let a single event define the rest of your life. Your life is better than that, isn’t it? What’s more, you’re capable of trusting and moving forward. Start somewhere and start now.

8 – Cultivating positive feelings to overcome betrayal and rebuild your life

The wound of betrayal makes us feel extremely negative towards the people who have hurt us. The problem is that these negative feelings gradually spread to everyone around us. Because negativity clouds our vision and judgment.

So, to avoid falling into this vicious circle of loneliness, we need to cultivate positive feelings towards others. To do this, instead of focusing on people who make you feel negative, focus instead on people who make you feel positive.

Because what you think of other people depends solely on you, not on what other people do. Remember: what you think and feel is up to you, and you alone. You choose! So choose what makes you feel good. What’s on your mind?

9 – Knowing how to forgive

At some point, we need to forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting the wrong done to us, or making the other person right. Not at all. Forgiveness means letting go of anger and resentment. It’s saying: “I forgive in order to move on”.

To do this, stop clinging to your anger and focus on your joy and inner peace. Forgive not for the other person, but for yourself. What do you think?

Learn more about:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Living in peace with others: 8 keys to harmonious relationships
Discover How to trust others: 6 steps to zen relationships

I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks

This novel tells the story of two high school lovers who are reunited after many years. It delves into the themes of second chances, forgiveness and the impact of past betrayals.
It’s truly a heartwarming story. So compelling that I couldn’t even put it down. It makes you realize how precious life is. Nickolas Sparks is a very extraordinary person for being able to put love and life into words the way he does. Thank you Mr. Sparks!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.