How to communicate easily? It’s not always easy to communicate well with others. Our ways of thinking and speaking are very different from one another. What can you do about it? I’ve come up with 4 tips to help you communicate better and build better relationships.

1 – Communicating with ease: understanding a few principles

Communicating well with others requires respecting certain principles :

These principles are as follows:

I’m not in the other person’s head
The other isn’t in my head either
I have the right to say what I think and feel, without holding the other person responsible and respecting them.
I have to listen to the other person’s answer
I have the right to say no
The other has the right to say no to me
I invite you to jot them down somewhere where you can re-read them regularly. Indeed, it’s good to remember above all this principle: “I’m not in the other person’s head, and the other person isn’t in my head either.”

If we don’t respect one of these principles, it means we’re not communicating well with others.

Often, this miscommunication comes from expecting the other person to guess what you need. You know, the famous: if he really loves me, he should know what I need.

To have beautiful relationships with others, wonderful exchanges with them, we have to stop with this false belief.

2 – Differentiating between possessive and liberating relationships

How do you communicate easily? By overturning a common belief! There’s amisconception that to have good, genuine relationships with others, we have to think the same way and like to do the same things. This is absolutely not true.

This type of relationship is possessive. We suffocate each other. The result: we don’t get to really know the other person, and the other person doesn’t get to really know us.

To live a liberating relationship, a relationship in which we can have wonderful exchanges and learn from each other, is a relationship in which the other can freely say what they think, feel and want, and so can we.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s essential.

3 – Easy communication: learning to assert yourself

How do you communicate easily? By asserting yourself!

Being assertive means giving yourself the right to exist, while giving the other person the right to exist. It means being able to say what you think, feel and want, while leaving the other person free to do the same.

Asserting ourselves requires us to do away with an old belief we’ve held since childhood: please others, conform to other people’s demands. Yes, as children, adults told us to do this, do that and be that.

Now that we’re adults, let’s take the time to get to know ourselves: what do I like, feel and want?

Being assertive means knowing how to connect with ourselves and translating it simply into words, in 4 steps:

My emotion: I feel…
My need: I need ….
I formulate a simple, clear request: do you agree to…?
I’m open to the person’s possible “no” or to compromise.

4 – Relax

How do you communicate easily? By relaxing! It may make you smile, but it’s so true.

Under stress or any other emotion, it’s very difficult to communicate your message correctly. So it’s best to calm down, relax our shoulders and breathe deeply.

Let’s never forget that our bodies speak for us.

If you tend to get stressed or anxious before an exchange with someone, I invite you to take a few minutes in a quiet place to close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing.

5 – Communicating easily: having the right inner dialogue

How can we communicate easily? Above all, by knowing how to talk to each other.

Yes, how can we hope to have wonderful exchanges with someone else, if we’re busy talking badly to each other and criticizing each other harshly?

First of all, before any stressful exchange, let’s relax as we did before and repeat beautiful things to each other:

“I’m a good person. I have the right to be who I am and how I am.”

“I have the right to say what I think, what I feel and what I want. I’m a human being.”

“I’m no better than anyone else and they’re no better than me. We’re equals.”

“I breathe in, I calm my mind. I breathe out, I smile.”

“Whatever happens, I’ll get through it.”

Learn more about:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Working on yourself: 10 tips to becoming the best version of yourself
Discover Caring communication: 3 tips to adopt

I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know by Malcolm Gladwell
The book looks at the difficulties of understanding and interacting with strangers. The book looks at the underlying assumptions and preconceptions that can have a significant bearing on our daily interactions.

I loved the stories, the arguments put forward and the seamless overlap between stories. Some really important ideas were also introduced. An essential read if you care about your interactions and relationships.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.