How to find love? It’s not always easy to find the one who will make your heart beat faster. Although we’re helped by technology and online applications today, it’s not always easy to set out to conquer love. That’s why I’d like to share with you 10 tips to help you get started!

1 – Finding love: learning to love yourself

There’s no escaping this advice, because we love as we love ourselves.

In other words, it’s hard to love someone when you don’t know how to love yourself.

Love is a natural impulse of the heart and soul, but unfortunately years and years of criticism and self-criticism have often succeeded in cutting off this impulse of love.

Today, we love conditionally, because we love ourselves conditionally.

To find love, it’s important to first find it within ourselves and for ourselves.

If you feel love for yourself, in other words, if you know how to love yourself despite your faults and mistakes, if you know how to look at yourself with compassion and kindness, then you’ll know how to do the same for others.

Because finding love isn’t about finding the perfect person. It’s about finding someone you can love despite their imperfections.

What’s more, it’ s essential to understand that we attract what we vibrate. If you vibrate with love for yourself, then you will attract love to you.

2 – Don’t stop at lack of self-confidence

It’s not uncommon for us not to embark on our quest for the one we love because we believe we lack self-confidence.

Here again, it’s our years and years of training in self-criticism and the clumsy words of certain people that we’ve developed this “I’m not confident in myself” syndrome.

It’s normal to feel insecure!

Especially when it comes to finding love.

Why? Because it’s scary. Because it’s scary. To have to meet a new person, to get to know them, to reveal ourselves to them, to take the risk of being rejected…

It’s scary and it’s normal. It’s also normal to feel insecure.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t take the plunge! Because fear must be faced and overcome. One step at a time.

Start small.

Start by registering on a site, for example.

3 – Finding love: never stop looking

The key to finding love is perseverance. It didn’t work out with so-and-so, x dates didn’t work out, so what?

KEEP GOING!

Because once you stop, you can’t realize your dream of finding the one you love.

Keep at it. No matter how long it takes, know that it’s worth it.

So never stop looking.

Search in a good mood. Don’t make it a way of the cross.

In fact, when you want something, remember that you’re responsible for the actions you take, but you have no control over the outcome. So let go of how long it will take.

Continue.

4 – See the positive in others

When we’re looking for the one we love, we can sometimes become very demanding. At the slightest mistake, the slightest suspicion, we zap. We move on.

Unfortunately, the perfect person doesn’t exist.

So if we fail to see the positive in others, we condemn ourselves to wandering from encounter to encounter.

Take the time to discover each other. Go beyond imperfections.

5 – Finding love: taking care of yourself

When we’re looking for love, it’s not uncommon to forget to take care of ourselves.

And that’s where we’re making a big mistake.

Because we’re looking for love, someone to love, not someone to take care of our happiness.

It’s up to you to take care of your own happiness, and you’ll be happier once you’ve found love.

Don’t leave the responsibility for your happiness to others.

In fact, the opposite is true. Don’t let someone else take responsibility for your happiness.

Take care of yourself. The other takes care of himself.

6 – Getting started

Finding love means realizing that we’ll need to make some effort, and sometimes even take a leap into the unknown.

For two lives are about to come together. Yes, two paths of life that will come together.

The other isn’t going to fit perfectly into your path. And you’re not going to fit into the other’s either.

You’re going to walk side by side, and that’s going to bring about some changes.

It’s going to require you to make efforts, to take risks. So get ready!

7 – Finding love: forgetting your past

When we’re looking for love, it’s not uncommon to think about the past, to be afraid of making the same mistakes, of coming across the same kind of people, the same kind of stories. So we protect ourselves, and even become a little aggressive.

How about forgetting the past? What if we stopped comparing and generalizing, and instead opened ourselves up and welcomed others?

Because, without even realizing it, we are making some people “pay” for the behavior of others.

How about a real chance?

Because you’ve suffered, you’ve become even stronger. So don’t be afraid to suffer, you’ve seen it all before. So open yourself up, trusting in yourself and in your ability to bounce back if need be.

How do you find love? By turning your past into a strength, not a source of fear.

8 – Follow the clues

It’s not uncommon for us to rack our brains analyzing a person to find out if they’re the right person or not.

We ask ourselves a thousand and one questions and it leads us nowhere, except to even more questions…

What if we stopped?

To find love, it’s important to let go and recognize the clues.

Trust yourself. Breathe and refocus on yourself, on your feelings, on what your little inner voice is telling you.

9 – Finding love: preferring joie de vivre

How serious you can be when you’re looking for love. Haven’t you noticed?

Sometimes it can even seem like a checkbox on our long To Do List of life.

What if we took ourselves a little less seriously and made room for the joy of living?

Don’t put pressure on yourself, let life surprise you.

You’ll find it, sooner or later. So let go of your expectations and trust in life.

How do you find love? By smiling rather than overthinking.

10 – Be yourself

When it comes to finding love, it’s essential to be yourself.

You don’t have to seduce the person in front of you, you have to make them discover you.

There’s no right way to behave, no right words to say, no right clothes to wear. There’s no attitude to have.

In fact, it’s just you and your way of being, your way of doing things.

Don’t change who you are. You’re already a beautiful person.

You don’t have to pretend. Just be you.

Learn more about:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Happy in love: 3 mistakes that make us suffer
Discover Couples crisis: 3 magic steps to get through it gently

I recommend this inspiring book on the subject:

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

The story unfolds as genius yet socially awkward geneticist Professor Don Tillman sets out on a scientific quest to find a suitable life partner. The story is a heartwarming journey into love and human bonding.
This book is truly like no other romance novel I’ve read in some time. There’s a lot you have to pay close attention to while reading to fully understand what’s going on. I really like that their love story is both unpredictable and unconventional. The two really do complement each other!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself.