Why is it so difficult to bounce back after a failure? We’re often told to move on after a failure, but how do we actually do that when we’re disappointed and no longer motivated to go on? Here are 10 tips for bouncing back and moving forward.

1 – Bouncing back from failure: don’t question your legitimacy

When we experience failure, one of our first reflexes is to question our legitimacy. In other words, we say to ourselves: “I knew I wasn’t the right person to undertake this.

In fact, we sabotage ourselves by listing all the false reasons for our failure: we don’t have the skills, we’re not smart enough, we’re not brilliant enough. In other words, we’re not good enough.

How about learning to bounce back from failure?

To that end, I wholeheartedly invite you not to question your legitimacy. Know that you have the right to embark on the project of your choice. That’s what you’re here for, to give life to your ideas and desires. You’re here to experiment and try things out.

So, failure doesn’t call TE into question, it’s simply part of your path. No more, no less.

Failure isn’t an end in itself, as long as you decide it isn’t. So, take a deep breath, take the time you need to heal your pain and disappointment, regain your strength to be creative, enterprising, persevering and determined once again. And go for it again!

Why are we here on Earth if not to bring our dreams to life? Remember, life is a playground. So do things, try things, experiment and, above all, make your dreams come true with joy, no matter what the setbacks.

2 – Don’t question your project

Another reflex we have when we fail is to question our project. We say to ourselves: “I knew this project would take me nowhere.

But failure doesn’t tell you that your project is going nowhere and never will.

In fact, failure is part of the journey.

Just because you did what you thought had to be done, just because you put in the effort, doesn’t mean it MUST work.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t work right away.

In other words, to bounce back after a failure, it’s essential to be determined AND persistent.

Yes, life needs you to persevere in order to achieve what you want.

So take a deep breath after a setback and persevere!

Remember: do you have anything else to do than realize your dreams? So keep at it!

3 – Bouncing back from failure: question your intentions

So, if we don’t question our legitimacy or our project, what do we question?

Failure tells us to rethink certain things, particularly our intentions.

Why do you do what you do? What are your intentions with regard to your project?

After all, it’s not uncommon to embark on a project for the right reasons, reasons that bring us joy, that drive us, and then, little by little, we forget all about them in favor of the quest for performance and success…

In other words, we may have strayed a little off course.

And bouncing back after a setback means asking ourselves whether we’re still driven by our original good intentions, or whether we’ve forgotten ourselves along the way.

Because, all too often, when we set out to do something, at first we follow our joy, and soon forget it along the way.

And our best guide in life is not numbers, performance or the opinions of others, it’s our joy.

So, if you’ve lost it, don’t worry. Contact her again, nurture her and follow her.

4- Question the way we do things

When we experience failure, we can also question the way we do things. In particular, by sorting out our daily actions.

Indeed, over time, it’s not uncommon to get lost in all the things we have to do, and find ourselves doing “useless” things that don’t move us forward, and worse still, exhaust us and drain our zest for life.

So, I wholeheartedly invite you to sort it out: which of your actions bring you the most joy? The ones that make you move forward the most? And on the contrary, which ones exhaust you the most, and which ones don’t move your project forward?

Then, think about how you can do more of the things that nourish you and your project, and less of the things that exhaust you and don’t nourish your project.

After all, bouncing back after a setback doesn’t mean abandoning your project; it means sorting out your day-to-day actions. There are simply things to improve.

5 – Bouncing back from failure: questioning our skills

Failure may tell you that you need to improve certain skills, but it doesn’t mean that you start doubting your legitimacy or the value of your project.

So ask yourself this question with curiosity, joy even: “If I had to improve 3 of my skills, what would they be?”

Then think of ways to improve one of them.

Because life is also about never stopping learning, growing and evolving. And failure highlights this truth.

That’s why bouncing back from failure means allowing yourself to improve and learn.

6 – Bouncing back from failure: questioning our expectations

When we experience failure, we don’t always think about questioning our expectations, and yet this is essential.

What were your expectations in terms of results? What were you aiming for?

In fact, by questioning your expectations, you may realize that although you didn’t meet your initial expectations, your result is still good.

Indeed, we often aim for the moon and ask ourselves a lot, really a lot, and that’s why we tend to see failures everywhere.

But if you question your expectations, if you make them a little less “big”, is it still a failure? Or is it more like a small but beautiful victory?

Yes, bouncing back from failure means seeing the small victory even in defeat.

7 – See progress rather than the finish line to move forward

When we embark on a project, we tend to visualize the end result, and that’s perfectly normal, because it’s what motivates us to get started.

However, if we want to successfully complete our project, it’s essential to see progress rather than the finish line.

After all, not every project is completed in a snap of the fingers, and it can take months or even years to achieve the result we want.

That’s why, to avoid taking everything as a failure, I wholeheartedly invite you to think “progress”.

Give yourself and your project time to grow.

8 – Seek lessons rather than punishment to move forward

When we experience failure, it’s hard not to take it as a punishment. We’re disappointed and even offended. We say to ourselves, “After all I’ve done, all I’ve invested in and put in place, it’s not working?”

And we’re very angry with Life, with other people and with ourselves.

What if, to bounce back after a failure, we had to learn to see the lesson rather than the punishment?

After all, failure is never a punishment. Life doesn’t come to you personally to tell you that you’re being punished for whatever reason.

No, failure highlights a lesson, a teaching from Life.

So, when you experience a failure, I wholeheartedly invite you to bounce back quickly and joyfully by asking yourself: “What am I learning?”

9 – Refocus on yourself

When we experience failure, it’s not uncommon to think about why and how we got here: “What did I do wrong? Why aren’t others helping me? Why is it working so well for him?”

And, we look left and right in search of answers.

How about refocusing on ourselves?

Indeed, to bounce back after a setback, it’s essential to come back to ourselves, to ask ourselves this question: “How do I feel?”

And there to express all that’s within us. Let’s put ourselves down in a meditation or a writing exercise.

Then, let’s ask ourselves: “And if what I’m experiencing right now were a very good friend of mine who was going through the same thing, what would I say to him to comfort him?”

Then say to yourself those same words you would say to your very good friend. Comfort yourself.

It’s normal to feel disappointed, sad and angry. So surround yourself with all your benevolence to better…

10 – Bounce back!

Yes, after a moment of comfort, it’s time to get motivated!

To do this, answer this question again: “And if what I’m going through right now were a very good friend of mine going through the same thing, what would I say to him to motivate him?”

What words would you use to motivate your very good friend to bounce back after a setback?

Then, give yourself those same words. Repeat them over and over again.

Until your disappointment, sadness and anger disappear and are replaced by the joy of bouncing back and moving forward.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Taking action: the 5 fears that prevent us from getting started
Discover The secret of motivation: How to motivate yourself to achieve your goals

I recommend this inspiring book:

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön
This inspiring book contains wisdom for coping with life’s difficulties. It gives advice on resilience and finding strength in the face of failure.
It has helped me through my worst times. Not even after reading it in the library. I had to have it as a tool. Each time I’m a little lost. I dip into it for a few minutes and instantly feel better. Even though it’s rather outdated, it’s still topical.We process everything in our bodies and minds in exactly the same way.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself