We find it hard to feel at ease with others, to dare to be ourselves. Because we tend to put ourselves down, to not believe in ourselves. And this can even turn into an inferiority complex that completely blocks us in our relationships and even our lives. So what can we do about it? Here are 4 soothing tips to help you overcome it step by step.

1 – Accepting that you’re different to heal your inferiority complex

We weren’t taught that we were all different from each other. Instead, we’ve been led to believe that we’re all alike, and asked to try at all costs to fit into the same boxes as everyone else.

That’s why today we find it so difficult to feel at ease among others, and why we feel a strong inferiority complex as a result.

Because we see our difference as a flaw. We believe it’s not normal and that we’re not “normal”, not up to scratch, not good enough for others.

So what we need to do here is take a deep breath and unlearn what we’ve learned. You’ll see, it’s very easy. In fact, it’s liberating. For me, it changed everything!

You’re different from everyone around you. Because you’re a unique combination of qualities and flaws, strengths and weaknesses, wounds, memories, desires, dreams and tastes.

You’re a unique being surrounded by others who are just as unique as you are.

That’s why you’re not as good as some people in some areas, that’s their strengths. And that’s why you’re better than some people in some areas, because those are your strengths.

What’s more, it explains why some things affect you more than others, interest you more than others or, on the contrary, leave you more indifferent.

And that’s normal! It’s your difference or, if you prefer, your uniqueness.

And our uniqueness, our difference, doesn’t make us superior or inferior to others; it makes us all complementary!

2 – Asserting your difference

In fact, we should have learned to know our differences and to assert them, rather than having tried to teach ourselves to fit into boxes and labels that don’t suit us. Acts and labels that have led us to suffer from an inferiority complex for far too long.

But what has happened has happened, and it will be over as soon as you decide to assert your difference instead of hiding it, camouflaging it.

In fact, it’s because you’re so desperate to be like other people, to measure up to their strengths, that you suffer so much from your inferiority complex.

So stop trying to be like everyone else. Become who you are!

To do so, dare to assert your difference. Cultivate it.

Find your strengths, your interests and your dreams that are uniquely yours.

In fact, stop measuring yourself against others to feel you’re worth something, or to make them like you.

What’s the point of being loved for what you’re not?

So affirm your difference. To do this, go for what makes you vibrate with joy, what makes sense to you.

Remember: you’re not here to compare yourself to others, to be like them, to be stronger or weaker.

You’re here to be you. That’s your mission, your adventure.

And, believe me, it’s the greatest adventure of all!

3 – Relax in the face of criticism

The problem is that we live in a competitive world. In fact, we haven’t learned to collaborate, but to compete against each other.

That’s why, in your relationships, there will always be people competing with you, even if you don’t want them to.

And this will translate into remarks and mockery. So don’t play into their hands.

Understand that all this is completely unconscious on their part. They’ve learned to communicate this way, so they’re not doing it on purpose.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to make the choice to relax in the face of other people’s remarks.

Let it out, let it speak.

And go your own way, quietly asserting your difference.

After all, you don’t need words to justify yourself. Your actions speak for you.

So don’t let other people’s remarks give you an inferiority complex. Because, yes, you are creating this complex for yourself. You’re hurting yourself by choosing to believe that you’re inferior to certain people.

Take a deep breath! Don’t fall into this trap. You are who you are, and you’re a wonderful person in your own unique way.

So relax, and if the remarks become too “aggressive”, get away from them. Choose yourself, choose your happiness and inner peace.

4 – Learning, growing and evolving to forget your inferiority complex

Now, understand that becoming yourself, asserting your difference and overcoming your inferiority complex doesn’t happen overnight.

It’s a lifetime’s work, and that’s what makes life so exciting!

Indeed, our mission on Earth is to become a little more ourselves among others, to let our difference shine through peacefully and joyfully, and to a certain extent, to help others to do the same.

In fact, you need to understand that we’re here on Earth not to squabble with others, or even to be loved by them at all costs.

We’re here to learn, grow and evolve.

That’s why, instead of wasting your time comparing yourself, trying at all costs to be loved and even respected by people who don’t want you to be, refocus on yourself.

Look at yourself rather than at others.

Take an interest in who you are, seek to learn, grow and evolve more each day.

You’ll see that it’s much more exciting and soothing to become yourself than to become like everyone else.

So start by asking yourself these questions: “Who am I? What do I love? And what do I want? What’s really important to me?”

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to stop letting yourself go? 10 tips for taking control of your life
Discover Being ashamed of your body: 4 tips for reconciling with your body

I recommend this inspiring book:

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay
A poignant account of the genesis of obesity in a traumatic adolescent event, and of the reality to be faced in adulthood. Impressive and very moving, revealing what remains taboo in society.
This memoir made me feel like I was journeying into my own consciousness. Even though I’m not overweight, I found it as relatable as any memoir I’ve read before. Like her, we are prisoners of our own expectations. The book pushes us to think, to really think if we want to reduce our happiness to fit the unrealistic standards set by a group of people.
It’s a brilliant look at the impact of trauma on self-esteem and the process of self-acceptance.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself