Fear of judgement is a well-established part of our lives. Indeed, we’re often afraid of what others might say or think, and this prevents us from doing what would make us happy. Yes, we do what everyone else does to avoid being noticed, but we’re suffocating. So how can we free ourselves from the fear of being judged? Here are 7 tips.

1 – Fear of judgment is normal

It’s perfectly normal to be afraid of judgment, to be afraid of being rejected and criticized by others. In fact, it’s written into us: we need others to survive and to live.

In other words, fear of judgment is useful, because it encourages us to behave in the right way in society, so as to be accepted by the group.

So this fear of judgment is a good thing, when it invites us to be polite, peaceful and pleasant in society.

But when it prevents us from doing what would make us happy, it becomes problematic.

Indeed, it’s not uncommon for us to forbid ourselves to do this or that because we’re afraid of being judged by those around us: what will my father think if I do this or that study? What will my partner say if I take a course in this or that? Or what will my colleagues say if I wear this type of clothing?

2 – Others also feel the fear of judgment

You’re afraid of being judged, I’m afraid of being judged too. In fact, this fear is inscribed within us.

But for some of us, this fear is stronger and prevents us from making the slightest personal choice.

So, in those moments, it’s important to remember that we’re all afraid of judgment, and that’s why, most of the time, others are more focused on what you might say about them, rather than judging what you do.

In fact, when we walk into a room full of people, we think all eyes are on us to judge us, but in fact, most people will barely have seen your entrance, too focused on their own thoughts. And, of those who do see you, the majority will have a favorable or neutral opinion of you. In the end, only one or two people will take the time to criticize you.

In other words, we ruin our lives because of the fear of judgment, but this fear is unfounded. In fact, people don’t spend their time judging you, so breathe.

The problem is that the fear of judgment applies to the family too. In fact, it’s not so much the judgment of strangers that scares us, but that of those around us.

3 – Think about yourself rather than others

When you’re afraid of being judged by those around you, it’s time to take charge of your life.

Our life is our own.

In fact, just because we’re our parents’ children doesn’t mean they have any say in our lives.

It’s easy to say, but not always easy to apply.

So how do we go about it?

When the time comes for us to make a choice, it’s a question of not focusing on what those around us might think, but rather focusing on what we ourselves think.

Firstly, because we don’t always know what others are thinking. In fact, we make assumptions, and most of the time, they’re negative.

Indeed, we tend to expect the worst of others so as not to be disappointed…

Then, once we’ve realized that what we want to do is really important to us, we immediately feel more sure of ourselves.

In other words, learn to be clear about what you want. Why do you want this? What’s in it for you?

Because most of the people around us only want one thing: our happiness.

And if we’re sure it will make us happy, then those around us will be reassured and encourage us.

4 – We can be afraid of judgment and do it anyway

Just because you’re afraid of judgment doesn’t mean it should stop you. In fact, this fear will always be present in your life. Yes, it’s normal to be afraid of judgment.

But don’t let it stop you from doing what’s important to you.

Here, it’s all about being aware that we’re afraid, and then saying: Ok, I’m afraid of judgment. But this is important to me, so I’m doing it!

In fact, don’t think that in order to do what makes you happy, you have to wait until you’re no longer afraid.

We’ll always be afraid. Whether it’s fear of judgment or some other fear, like fear of change or fear of failure, for example.

Fear, that emotion, will accompany you throughout your life, reminding you to be vigilant and inviting you to give the best of yourself.

So, if you’re scared, accept it and do it anyway.

5 – Training

When you’ve always felt the fear of judgment, it can be hard to get started on a big project that’s close to your heart.

Indeed, we lack practice. How can we embark on a big project when we’ve never been able to assume our tastes and desires before, even the most trivial ones?

So, the idea here is to train ourselves by setting ourselves small challenges. For example, you can train yourself by changing your culinary tastes, your taste in clothes, your taste in films, books…

Learn to do things for yourself every day, despite the fear of judgment.

6 – Motivate yourself to free yourself from the fear of judgment

Too often, we wait to meet the person who can help us free ourselves from the fear of judgment. Someone who can motivate us.

Yet most of the people around you are just like you: they too are afraid of judgment and are waiting to meet the person who will motivate them.

In other words, it’s time to learn how to motivate yourself, to become that person who will push you to do what’s right for you.

So, when you’re afraid, when you doubt, come back to yourself.

Close your eyes and ask yourself what a person who’s there to motivate you, a person who believes in you and pushes you to stop being afraid of other people’s judgments, would say.

Repeat these words to yourself, as many times as necessary.

Don’t wait for someone else to do things for you. Just do them!

7 – So what if it makes me happy?

Fear of judgment traps us in our thoughts. We think, we imagine, we make assumptions… and we feel worse and worse.

In fact, what we need most is action. Action liberates!

In fact, when you take action, your thoughts start to move too, and they become less negative. Yes, movement makes them more confident, more self-assured.

So when you’re afraid of judgment, act!

To help you, repeat these words to yourself: “So what?”

If my choice isn’t understood by others, so what if it makes me happy?

If my decision disappoints some people around me, so what if it makes me happy?

Let’s ask ourselves: are we here on Earth to please others, or to live our own lives in our own way, at our own pace?

Are we here to tick boxes, to fill in a list of criteria?

We’re here to be ourselves, to have our own experiences, to follow our own joy. And that requires us to look fear of judgment in the face and transcend it.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Accepting other people’s remarks: 4 tips to help you relax
Discover Inferiority complex: 4 soothing tips to heal, step by step

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
This book of Japanese philosophy confronts the fear of judgment, encouraging self-acceptance and authentic living.
Presents a unique and engaging dialogue format that challenges preconceived notions about happiness and relationships. It encourages readers to embrace their individuality, free themselves from the need for approval and pursue a more fulfilling life. The book offers valuable insights and practical advice for those seeking personal development and a new perspective on human relationships.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself