How to get respect at work and at home? We sometimes make concessions and even say yes when we mean no to maintain good relations with others. But after a while, we start to feel uncomfortable. How can we be ourselves in the midst of others? How can we develop the necessary self-confidence? Here are 7 tips to follow!

1 – Respect yourself in order to be respected

Our relationships are often a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. Indeed, if we ourselves tend to speak badly of ourselves, others tend to do the same.

Why do we do this? Because we accept it.

In fact, when we respect ourselves, we’re much more sensitive to the way others talk to us, and we don’t tolerate disrespectful language. It happens naturally. We say no to others as we say no to ourselves.

But why do we find it so difficult to respect ourselves? It’s because ever since we were children, at school and at home, we’ve been constantly judged and punished or rewarded accordingly.

As adults, we no longer needed adults to judge us: we judge ourselves. Constantly! Severely!

So how can we learn to respect ourselves?

It’s about recognizing all the times you get angry with yourself, all the times you say to yourself: “I’m useless, ugly, uninteresting”.

Then, learn to talk to yourself better.

Why do you say you suck? Is it because you made a mistake at work? Then rephrase the way you talk to yourself: “I made that mistake yesterday. I feel bad about it. I think I can do better. That’s why from now on I’m going to do it like this.”

Can you see the difference?

Respect starts with you!

So rather than waiting for others to speak better to you, learn to speak better to yourself first. The rest will follow.

2 – Formulate clear requests

We often feel we’re being disrespected, when in fact we’re not being clear enough in our requests.

In fact, the point here is to understand that we learned another mistake in our childhood.

We were led to believe that we had to guess what was going on inside people’s heads: “If you love me, you should know”, and therefore that others should also guess what we expected of them.

So, now that we’re adults, it’s time for us to understand this: you’re not in other people’s heads, and other people aren’t in your head.

In other words, if you want something, ask for it! It’s as simple as that.

That’s why, in order to gain respect at work and at home, I wholeheartedly invite you to stop believing that others are disrespecting you on purpose when they don’t do what you expect of them.

Have you made your expectations clear to them? Start there. You’ll see, everything will change!

3 – How to get respect: ask for explanations

Just as it’s essential to make clear requests to make ourselves understood by others, it’s essential to ask for explanations when things aren’t clear to us.

All too often, we find ourselves offended by other people’s behavior. Some make us angry, others make us sad.

And instead of asking for explanations, we make assumptions.

Example: Your colleague didn’t say hello to you today. What’s your reaction? Chances are you’re going to go off in all directions with your assumptions: “He’s in a bad mood, because… He’s angry with me, because… I knew he was moody, I’m disappointed”.

The more assumptions you make, the more you feel disrespected.

So, how do you get respect at work and at home? By learning to ask for explanations.

Ask your colleague: “Is everything all right?”

Once again, respect is a personal matter, a matter between you and you. It’s up to you to find out what you need to feel respected.

Because other people aren’t perfect and never will be. So don’t let their imperfections make you feel bad. What’s more, you’ll often notice that it had nothing to do with you.

In fact, there’s a good chance that your colleague will reply that he’s preoccupied with something going on at home.

4 – Accepting comments

Remarks are always welcome, whether at work or at home. (laughs)

So, how do you earn respect?

We live in a stressful society, and what’s more, we haven’t learned to be kind to each other. In fact, since childhood, we’ve been constantly judged and criticized, so now that we’re adults, we do the same thing with others.

You receive remarks, you make them too. Even if you don’t realize it.

In other words, the aim is not to stop receiving criticism, but to learn to accept it.

To do this, you need to understand that we’re all different. We have very different ways of thinking and doing things.

That’s why, the next time you hear a remark about yourself, understand that you and that person are different, and that’s normal.

Then accept it.

In fact, we tend to take a remark badly, because we question the value of our whole person.

But you don’t have to. In fact, you can simply accept that you’re different from that person – it’s your right.

So don’t try to justify yourself, just accept the other person’s disagreement.

In fact, getting respect means respecting yourself first and foremost. Accept that you’re different from everyone else. That’s your right. You have the right to be yourself.

In the end, accepting other people’s remarks means accepting yourself.

Then, depending on the disagreement, try to find a compromise with the person. If you’ve made a mistake, apologize. If the person expresses disappointment, show kindness. But never question your own self-worth. You’re entitled to make mistakes. You’re still a beautiful person.

5 – Getting respect: accepting disappointment

Sometimes others disappoint us. At work and at home. And we often take this as a sign of disrespect.

Others are late, cancel appointments at the last minute, push us around… And all this behavior is a blow to our self-esteem.

So how do we earn respect? By not taking things personally.

After all, other people don’t behave in ways that disappoint you on purpose, even if your little inner voice would have you believe otherwise.

Other people usually only think about themselves, as you should too.

In fact, if you’re so often disappointed in others, it’s because your whole attention is focused on others, on what they do or don’t do.

What if you focused a little more on yourself, on what you do for yourself?

Getting respect isn’t about how others behave towards you, it’s about how you behave towards yourself.

In other words, detach yourself from others and focus on yourself.

Yes, give yourself the attention you’d like others to give you, and you’ll find that other people’s behaviour will no longer have the same impact on you, and you’ll stop feeling that you’re constantly being disrespected.

6 – Loving and accepting yourself

You are you! You have qualities, flaws, strengths and weaknesses. You have your history and your wounds.

Nobody knows you as well as you know yourself.

And nobody has to know you as well either.

So stop justifying yourself.

When someone seems unfair to you, get inside yourself and don’t let their words throw you off balance.

Justifying yourself is a waste of time.

If the person in front of you says something unfair, it’s because it’s not the right time for them to be kind to you, so let it go. Get on with it.

Getting respect isn’t about everyone being fair to you, it’s about you being fair to yourself.

It all starts with you.

If you know who you are, then don’t waste your time explaining it to someone who obviously can’t hear you.

In the end, getting respect means not trying to be liked and accepted by others, but first and foremost loving and accepting yourself.

In other words, stop seeking the approval of others; your own approval should be enough.

7 – Laughing at yourself

I think the most powerful tip for gaining respect is to be able to laugh at yourself.

After all, we’re far too serious and take ourselves far too seriously, and that’s what ruins our relationships and even our lives.

In fact, nothing is serious, nothing is serious, because life is a gift! Which can be taken away from us at any time without notice.

So breathe!

Stop taking things personally. Stop wanting to be perfect. Stop wanting others to be too.

There will be remarks and arguments. It’s all right. Laugh at yourself, laugh at everything.

Let it all wash over you. You’re a beautiful person in your own way.

Remember: your mission on Earth is not to be respected by everyone, but to be happy.

Are you happy? If you can’t be happy around certain people, you know what you have to do. In fact, don’t ask others to change, change yourself. And change location if you have to!

Because others won’t change for you.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to have charisma
Discover How to have courage: 10 powerful tips

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The novel focuses on a group of teenagers striving to overcome social divisions and gain respect within their community.
Although set in the ’50s or ’60s, this book takes a look at the divisions and prejudices that exist between economic social classes.
The best book I’ve ever read. It captivated me from beginning to end, with good characters, good settings and a well-written story. Very special!
I’ve read it so many times in my life that I’ve actually worn out more than one copy…
A must read!
Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself