I don’t like myself. A few words we’re not always aware of, but which are nonetheless a reality. We don’t love ourselves. At the same time, have we learned what self-love is? Have we learned how to cultivate it? Not really, no. That’s why I’d like to share with you the 5 mistakes you should never make again, so you can finally love yourself.

1 – Not setting up good habits for loving yourself

What do we do on a daily basis to love ourselves? Do we take concrete action? Do we have habits to cultivate self-love?

No.

It’s as if we believe that self-love is innate, that it must already be there within us, and if it isn’t, then too bad, we’re doomed to say: “I don’t love myself”.

But I’ve got good news for you: you can learn to love yourself.

Because everything has to be learned. Nothing falls from the sky. Nothing is inaccessible to you. In fact, you can learn to love yourself, you can learn to be happy, to have confidence in yourself, to better manage your emotions…

I know, I’ve learned all that.

So, to stop saying “I don’t love myself”, I invite you to stop leaving your love to chance, to stop waiting for it to fall into your lap.

To do this, you’re going to develop it, cultivate it and nourish it with good habits.

The one I particularly like, and which has totally changed my life, is to look at yourself in the mirror every morning and repeat 10 or 15 times: “I love and accept myself as I am”.

2 – I don’t like myself: don’t try to be proud of yourself

We’ve learned to see only our mistakes and everything we do wrong. In fact, we haven’t really learned to be happy with who we are. Indeed, we shouldn’t take the melon. (laughs)

Do you know the probability of your birth? 1 in four hundred thousand billion. Do you realize what a miracle that is? You are a miracle. So, after that, you can’t say “I don’t love myself”. You just can’t!

That’s why it’s time to stop making the mistake of believing we’re not good enough and finally learn to be proud of ourselves.

How do we do it?

It’s all the same: it’s learned and cultivated through good habits.

To do this, I wholeheartedly invite you, every night, before you close your eyes to sleep, to list the 3 things you feel proud of.

Look back on your day and congratulate yourself on 3 things!

3 – I don’t like myself: cultivating a lack of self-confidence

We don’t like ourselves, because we lock ourselves into a routine that suffocates us, a routine in which we don’t give the best of ourselves.

In fact, how can we love ourselves if we’re only half asleep?

Indeed, loving ourselves is an impulse of the heart. It’s something inside us that’s powerful, that says “I’m alive and I like it. I am who I am and I love myself.”

Unfortunately, in addition to repeating “I don’t love myself”, we repeat “I lack self-confidence”. In other words, we don’t dare do anything, undertake anything.

We hide, we hide.

Once again, we believe that our skills and abilities are innate, whether they came to us or not.

As if we couldn’t learn? Oh yes, we can learn, learn everything (laughs).

In fact, I understand that lack of self-confidence is simply forgetting that we’re capable of learning.

Learn what you need to learn to live fully, intensely, with your eyes wide open and your heart happy.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to set yourself a goal right now. It could be doing 20 squats a day, reading 5 pages a day, signing up for a training course. Whatever you want, as long as you wake up and learn, move forward.

Because loving yourself means feeling that you’re doing your best day after day.

4 – Maintaining toxic relationships

The words of others can do us a lot of good, as well as a lot of harm. And, unfortunately, we tend to have relationships in which people hurt us. That’s why these relationships are toxic.

But why do we have toxic relationships?

In fact, it’s often a vicious circle that’s been set up without you even realizing it: the more toxic relationships you have, the less you love yourself, and the less you love yourself, the more toxic relationships you have.

How about breaking out of this vicious cycle?

There’s no secret to it: stop being around people who make you feel bad. Even if they’re family members. STOP!

Stop listening to them and believing them.

Feel free to walk away, feel free to love yourself as you are.

You know, we’ve all learned that love is conditional, that you have to be like that and not do that to be loved.

But that’s not true!

It’s the person in front of you who decides whether or not to love you, it’s not up to you to convince them.

Love is unconditional!

In other words, if the people in front of you don’t like you or criticize you, the problem isn’t you, it’s them. So walk away without guilt, without justification!

5 – Not understanding the importance of loving yourself

So why is it important to love yourself?

Because it’s vital! Because when we don’t love ourselves, what kind of life are we living? If we don’t love ourselves, what’s the point of making the effort to create a life we like? We don’t deserve it anyway.

And because it’s natural. Yes, loving yourself is natural. Ask a little child if he loves himself. He won’t even understand the question. He’ll ask you: “But why not?”

Yes, why not?

Aren’t we the only people we can really count on? Aren’t we a miracle of life?

Loving ourselves is vital and natural.

So stop sabotaging yourself!

I invite you to go in front of a mirror right now, and look yourself in the eye. Ask yourself, “Do I really love myself?”

Let your thoughts run wild. Let them tell you lies about yourself.

Keep repeating the question to yourself. Over and over again.

When I did this exercise, I cried. Just writing about it brings tears to my eyes. Because loving yourself is so natural, so sweet.

Indeed, it takes so much energy not to love yourself, it’s hard, it’s exhausting.

Remember: loving yourself can be learned and cultivated. So do things every day to love yourself. It’s your mission on Earth.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Being unhappy: My 5 tips for finding your way back to happiness
Discover Inferiority complex: 4 soothing tips to heal, step by step

I recommend this inspiring book:

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh

In this graphic memoir that blends humor and introspection, Brosh shares her struggles with depression and self-doubt. It’s an open, honest and realistic account of the challenges of self-acceptance.
A good read that’s not too serious and can brighten up a bad day.
Filled with a collection of hilarious, random stories, sprinkled with more touching tales of mental issues and identity.

It’s sure to remind you that we all have unique gifts to share

The most delightful and intriguing read I can remember.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself