Loss of self-confidence affects most people. Indeed, we’ve all been through trials and tribulations, and heard things that, little by little, have destroyed our self-confidence. Today, everything scares us, and we no longer feel up to the task. So how do you go from “I lack self-confidence” to “I’ve regained self-confidence”? Here are 10 tips to help you do just that.

1 – Rebuilding self-confidence

We tend to believe that self-confidence is something innate. We are either self-confident or we are not. That’s just the way it is.

We believe we can’t do much about it, and we look at people who seem to radiate confidence with envy: “They’re so lucky. Me, I lack self-confidence.”

What if I told you that was a lie?

In fact, self-confidence is simply the choice to do things even if they don’t scare you.

Yes, self-confident people feel fear just like you do. Because it’s normal to be scared when you do something for the first time.

And self-confidence means daring to do it the first time, then a second time and so on.

In the end, loss of self-confidence is when we stop overcoming our fears, one by one. It’s when we’ve come to believe the lie that because we’re afraid, we’re not up to it, that we’re not capable.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to rebuild your self-confidence. Understand that it all starts with a choice: to change the way you look at your own fear.

Fear is normal and can be overcome. To do this, you simply need to take small steps and go out to meet it.

2 – I lack self-confidence: getting to know yourself

When we experience a loss of self-confidence, it’s because we’ve lost sight of ourselves at some point in our lives.

In fact, we no longer know who we are: what are our qualities? What are our faults?

We can go even further: what have been our greatest successes? What have been our failures, and what have we learned from them?

Knowing ourselves is the key to regaining our self-confidence.

Because when we lack self-confidence, we judge ourselves harshly. We tell ourselves all day long that we’re no good and that we’ll never measure up.

Remember, you have qualities, you have strengths.

You also have flaws, and becoming aware of them is essential, because then you’ll realize that you can learn to live with them. Soften them. Stop being ashamed of them.

That’s why, to recover from a loss of self-confidence, it’s essential to take time to get to know yourself.

So, grab a sheet of paper and a pencil and dive in. Take a curious, caring look at yourself and your life.

3 – Stop comparing yourself

If there’s one thing that leads to a loss of self-confidence, it’s our mania for comparing ourselves with others.

In fact, it’s no wonder we compare ourselves all the time, even when we know it’s hurting us. That’s because we’ve learned to do this from an early age, at school, but also from our parents.

It’s not a question of blaming the adults who raised us, because all they did was repeat what they themselves had learned. It’s simply a question of realizing that comparison has become second nature to us.

So how can we regain our self-confidence? How can we stop comparing ourselves?

For that, I wholeheartedly invite you to reduce your time on social networks.

In fact, stop looking at what others are doing and focus on what you’re doing.

In fact, rather than looking at what others are reading, the yoga practice of others or the travels of others, read, practice yoga and travel yourself! In your own way, at your own level and at your own pace.

Live instead of watching others live, that’s the secret to recovering from a loss of self-confidence.

4 – I lack self-confidence: learning to assert yourself

Here too, we’ve learned from an early age to cut corners, to keep our opinions to ourselves so as not to create conflict or offend others.

And, little by little, we end up losing our self-confidence.

And why? Because we’ve come to believe that what we have to say, what we think, is of no interest, and worse still, that we’re of no interest, that we don’t count.

To get out of this, it’s essential to learn to assert ourselves, to give ourselves the right to express ourselves.

Because the problem is that we wait for other people’s permission to speak up.

In fact, if you’ve lost your self-confidence, it’s important to dare to disturb!

Disturb! Have your say.

This doesn’t mean imposing your opinion or trying to crush others.

Giving your opinion means giving yourself the chance to say what you want. No more, no less.

You have the right to think what you think. You have the right to be different.

So, how do we learn to assert ourselves and give our opinion when it’s been a long time since we’ve done so?

I invite you, first of all, to write down all your tastes on a sheet of paper: what do you like and what don’t you like? Then answer the question: why?

Finally, have fun picking out topics that come up regularly in current conversations and practicing your opinion in front of the mirror.

5 – Talking to each other

Loss of self-confidence comes with the trials and disappointments of life, but not only that.

We don’t always realize it, but we talk badly to each other all day long.

We criticize and judge ourselves, and this inevitably leads to a loss of self-confidence.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to take some time every day to talk to yourself. Just 2-3 minutes is enough.

So what does talking to yourself actually mean?

It’s about checking in: “How am I doing? How am I feeling? How am I feeling? Do I need comfort or encouragement?”

And, it’s offering yourself comfort and encouragement.

Be a good friend to yourself. The best there is!

6 – Set yourself small challenges

There’s nothing more powerful than action when it comes to recovering from a loss of self-confidence.

Indeed, lack of self-confidence is a vicious circle. The more you lack confidence, the less you do, and the less you do, the more you lack confidence.

Confidence is like a muscle. That’s why we need to take action to maintain it.

But what can you do when you’re in the throes of losing your self-confidence? When the slightest effort, the smallest goal, frightens us?

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to set yourself small 30-day challenges.

Choose a small action that makes you smile, that makes you happy, and commit to doing it every day for 30 days.

Here are the little 30-day challenges I like to set myself: x squats a day, read x minutes a day, learn x words in a foreign language, meditate x minutes, write x minutes…

Have fun! Because that’s the secret to recovering from a loss of self-confidence: it’s all about getting back your smile and your desire to get on with life.

You’re capable and you deserve it. Let your joy be your guide!

7 – I lack self-confidence: taming solitude

Here again, the loss of self-confidence is a vicious circle, because the less self-confident you are, the more isolated you become, and the more isolated you become, the less self-confident you become.

What’s more, when we lack self-confidence, we tend to hope that someone will give us back that self-confidence.

But we wait in vain.

Why do you wait in vain? Because nobody else has the power to give you back your self-confidence.

But how?

First, I invite you to tame your solitude.

After all, when you’re suffering from a loss of self-confidence, it’s a unique opportunity to be alone with yourself and get to know yourself. In this way, you can emerge stronger than ever.

In other words, change the way you look at this period of solitude. See it as an opportunity, even a chance.

Focus on yourself, discovering yourself as you would a new friend.

You’re an interesting, exciting person. You deserve all your attention.

8 – Learn to laugh at yourself

It’s not easy to laugh at yourself when you lack self-confidence. Especially when you’re looking for support from others, so it’s even harder when you’re being mocked.

Yet laughing at yourself is also one of the secrets to recovering from a loss of self-confidence.

Because chances are you consciously or unconsciously think that in this life, we have to be perfect.

That’s why you don’t believe in yourself, because you know you’re not perfect.

But nobody is. And nobody has to be.

In fact, that’s not our mission on Earth. Our mission is to be happy in our own way.

In other words, learn to laugh at yourself. To laugh at your faults.

For example, I’ve learned to laugh at my tendency to over-react to everything. I react to everything I hear and see. And really, it’s a lot of fun to watch when you forget the fact that it can exhaust some people, including myself (laughs).

I’m also a real hermit. I don’t like being called. I used to take other people’s mockery very badly, but now I laugh along with them.

What’s more, I’ve discovered that the advantage of laughing at yourself, in addition to boosting your self-confidence, is that you soften your flaws.

In fact, by laughing at my hermit side, I’ve learned to accept and love it, and I’m less and less of a hermit (laughs).

So really, from the bottom of my heart, learn to laugh at yourself. About those things that embarrass you, that you’re ashamed of. You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself. Without your flaws, you wouldn’t be who you are. You belong on this Earth!

9 – I lack self-confidence: stop criticizing

There’s another vicious circle we fall into without even realizing it: criticizing others.

The more we criticize others, the more we criticize ourselves and the more we lose confidence in ourselves.

That’s why, although it may seem strange to stop criticizing others in order to recover from a loss of self-confidence, it’s just essential advice!

It’s not always easy to stop criticizing others, especially some people. Especially some people.

It’s human to criticize, so there’s no question here of feeling guilty and blaming yourself.

In fact, it’s about understanding that it hurts us most of all, ourselves and our self-confidence.

But how can we stop criticizing?

Personally, when I hear myself criticizing someone, I pause and say to myself: “This person is the way he or she is. It’s not up to me to change them. I’m living my life. This person is living his.”

In fact, it’s essential to understand that when we criticize someone, it’s a way of reinforcing our own system of thoughts and beliefs. In the end, the other person helps us to understand and know ourselves better.

That’s why we can stop criticizing and focus more calmly on ourselves: who am I? What’s important to me? What do I really want to do?

In other words, it’s a much more positive, enjoyable and constructive self-reflection than criticizing others.

10 – Stop grumbling and take action

Loss of self-confidence often sets in without you even realizing it.

Yet there’s one sure sign: grumbling. All those things we complain about, which take us from the status of “I’m an actor in my life” to that of “I’m a victim of others, of life and even of myself”.

That’s why it’s essential that you take the time to listen to yourself: “Are you currently grumbling about things that come up regularly?”

If so, take a moment to look the problem in the face and answer the question: “What can I do to solve this problem? What solutions can I find and how can I apply them?”

In fact, loss of self-confidence occurs when we stop finding solutions and taking action.

Understand that life brings us its share of trials, because its purpose is to constantly teach us.

You’re not a victim. Life doesn’t come to punish you and make you sink. It comes to make you stronger and more humble.

That’s why think “solutions” and act! Never stop acting.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Don’t be afraid of other people’s opinions: 8 tips to free yourself
Discover The 50 best quotes for self-confidence

I recommend this inspiring book:

Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Although not a conventional memoir, Thoreau’s account of his stay in solitude at Walden Pond is a reflection on the virtues of simplicity, autonomy and self-confidence in one’s own philosophy of life.
This edition is very reader-friendly. The book itself is insightful and thought-provoking. Although Thoreau wrote in the last century, most of the topics he addresses are entirely applicable to our times with a lot of topics that are thought-provoking.
An excellent book, well worth the time and effort.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself