The rejection wound concerns us all. We’re all afraid of being rejected, especially by the people we love. And, we don’t always know what to do or how to react when we suffer from this wound and this fear. That’s why I’m sharing with you 8 tips for freeing yourself from the wound of rejection.

1 – Understand that suffering from rejection is normal

Fear of rejection is perfectly normal. In fact, it’s part of our very being, because our survival instinct tells us that to be alone is to be in mortal danger. Although this is no longer really the case in our modern society, it remains true in a certain sense. Indeed, we need to belong to a group, to have social ties to be fully happy. In complete isolation, a human being tends to wither away.

That’s why, when we suffer from the wound of rejection, it’s essential to remember that it’s normal.

Indeed, because fear is ingrained in us, we often (too often, in fact) interpret the behavior of those around us as rejection. And each time we do, our rejection wound intensifies.

In fact, it’s because we’re afraid of being rejected that we see evidence of rejection everywhere in our relationships.

That’s why, above all, when you suffer from this wound, I wholeheartedly invite you to understand that you’re afraid and that it’s normal.

And, instead of checking all around you that you’re rejected, breathe and understand that it’s fear that’s driving you.

Why, instead of seeing rejection everywhere, did you see love everywhere? Instead of looking for proof of rejection, look for proof of love. You’ll be surprised.

2 – Accepting rejection

Because our survival instinct constantly reminds us that rejection is dangerous, we don’t accept it.

Yet we can’t please everyone. What’s more, people change, you change and situations change. In other words, it’s normal for some relationships not to last.

It’s just that things change, like everything else in life.

So don’t feed your wound of rejection as soon as one of your relationships disappears. Accept this disappearance, this lack, this end. But don’t tell yourself you’ve been rejected. You’re not.

3 – Talk to yourself like a friend when you’re suffering from the wound of rejection

We make our rejection wound even more painful when we believe we’re being rejected because of ourselves, our personality or one of our behaviors. So we blame ourselves a lot and criticize ourselves severely.

What if we stopped hurting ourselves?

It’s bad enough that one of our relationships has just ended, and we’re suffering and sad, so why do we add to all that guilt and anger towards ourselves?

Why don’t we talk to each other as friends?

And if what you’re going through right now was a friend of yours whom you love dearly, what would you say to reassure him or her?

You wouldn’t say, “It’s your fault because you’re a bad person.

You’d say, “That’s just the way things are. Relationships come and go, and it’s not up to you. You’re a beautiful person.”

So give yourself the comfort of talking to yourself as if you were a friend, and don’t let the wound of rejection you carry inside you, like all of us on Earth, bleed even more profusely.

4 – Don’t have too many expectations and stop being afraid of rejection

We expect a lot from others and from our relationships. And that’s normal. In fact, it’s normal to want the company of others to make us happy.

But when we set too many expectations and the moment of separation arrives, it hurts, and the pain is proportional to our initial expectations.

That’s why, if you don’t want to suffer the hurt of rejection as soon as a relationship ends, learn not to have too many expectations.

That way, you’ll experience your relationship more serenely, and the separation as well.

5 – Don’t take anything personally

Here too, we tend to press our rejection wound, because as soon as someone is less warm to us, we tend to take it personally.

Indeed, we don’t first tell ourselves that he’s a bit moody today, perhaps because of some bad news and temporary fatigue.

No, we quickly say to ourselves: “I’ve done something wrong, he’s angry with me for something…”.

And we feel rejected.

That’s why, if you want to stop suffering from your rejection wound, learn to stop taking things personally. Not everything depends on you, and certainly not everyone’s moods, which are as changeable as the weather.

6 – Don’t stop living and believing

When we suffer rejection, we tend to want to protect ourselves more and more. And the more we protect ourselves, the more we hurt ourselves.

Indeed, the more we protect ourselves, the more we’re on the alert, looking for the slightest clue that the person is going to reject us sooner or later. And, inevitably, when we look, we find…

And then, one day, we’ll suffer so much from this wound of rejection that we’ll want to throw in the towel. No more attachments, no more relationships, because it’s just too hard, too painful.

But what if we carry on, realizing that some relationships are made to last and others aren’t, that there’s no rejection in that, it’s just the way life is?

What if we stopped believing that our whole life is at stake as soon as we start a relationship, and that our life ends as soon as it does?

7 – Self-confidence to stop suffering from the rejection wound

Suffering from the wound of rejection is above all a lack of self-confidence.

We can’t please everyone.

Yet we live as if we have to please everyone, and this is what drives us to suffer more and more from the wound of rejection. Indeed, as soon as we fail to connect with someone, we feel rejected.

But it’s just not working, that’s all.

We’re not all made to like each other.

So get your confidence back. If someone doesn’t want to connect with you, it’s not because of you, it’s not that you’re not good enough, it’s just that the two of us don’t fit. That’s all there is to it. And that means it wasn’t meant to be, so stop holding on and sabotaging your self-confidence.

8 – Love with all your heart to transcend the wound of rejection

The wound of rejection invites us to be afraid, all the time, and, by dint of it, that’s all we see around us: fear. And, inevitably, we only attract it into our lives.

Suffering is normal, being afraid is normal. In fact, we can live in spite of it. We can even trust, try, fail and try again.

Because that’s what life’s all about.

We’re not here to give credence to our wounded rejection and our fear of rejection, we’re here to transcend all that.

In fact, we’re here to learn to love with all our hearts.

=So instead of being guided by fear, why not be guided by love?

That’s why I invite you to ask yourself this question, every time you’re afraid of suffering, when your rejection wound rears its ugly head: “What would love do in my place?”

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to stop losing your temper: 4 tips for calming down
Discover How to cheer yourself up when you’re sad?

I recommend this inspiring book:

Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang
Jiang recounts his personal experience of seeking rejection every day for 100 days, filled with insights on how to overcome the fear of rejection and build resilience.
Finally, a book that works immediately: Never fear rejection again, never fear a no, because rejection has more to do with the person rejecting you than with you! And : A no is the beginning of negotiation, not the end.
This book has really encouraged me to stop feeling emotional when I ask for what I want. It has helped boost my self-confidence and, by extension, my self-esteem.
Highly recommended!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself