We don’t believe in ourselves, in our ability to succeed, or even in our ability to be a good person. We only see our faults, we only see the obstacles. Yet believing in ourselves is essential if we are to get ahead in life and be happy. So how can you gain self-confidence? Here are 5 exercises that will change everything!

1 – The right to disappoint for self-confidence

First and foremost, self-confidence means no longer having to live with the fear of other people’s opinions and judgments. It means freeing yourself from all those burdens that are too heavy to bear.

And, to achieve this, we need to understand that it’s impossible to please everyone, in any case. Because, taken individually, each person has very specific expectations of us. In other words, you can’t please everyone around you.

So what can you do?

It’s time to accept the risk of disappointing those around you. Yes, disappoint.

Because, in the end, self-confidence means making your own choices, following your own path. And not everyone will like it. Some people will even say they’re disappointed in you.

But so what? So what?

Accept disappointment, because this life is yours. It belongs to you. And it’s your right to live it the way you want.

So, I invite you to take some writing materials and take a deep breath. Then write this sentence starter: “If I took the risk of disappointing others, then I…”

And finish this sentence in at least 10 different ways.

Then, among the things you’ve just listed, choose one. The one that seems the most important or the easiest. And commit to doing it within the month.

2 – Listen to yourself

Self-confidence is all about listening to yourself. The problem is, we haven’t learned to. In fact, we’ve even learned the opposite.

We’ve learned to ask for advice and listen to others. Worse still, we’ve learned to do what others do.

So how do we listen to ourselves to gain self-confidence?

Take some writing implements and take a deep breath. Then write this sentence starter: “If I listened to myself more, then I’d…”

And, finish this sentence in at least 10 different ways. Explore all areas of your life.

Imagine yourself as a self-confident person who listens to herself. What would you do differently?

3 – Dare to be different to gain self-confidence

IF we lack so much self-confidence, it’s because we live in a world where difference is not tolerated. In fact, from a very early age, we’re expected to be like everyone else and do what everyone else does.

Even in advertisements in which we’re told to be ourselves, it’s ultimately to buy the same car as everyone else or to eat in the same fast-food restaurants as everyone else…

So, if we want to feel confident, it’s time to accept and even cultivate our differences.

Because you’re unique and you’re here to cultivate your uniqueness.

So grab some writing implements and write this sentence starter: “If I dared to be different, then I…”

Then finish it in at least 10 different ways.

Let what you’ve just written resonate, and see if there’s anything you feel like doing right now.

4 – Have fun believing it’s possible to believe in yourself

Self-confidence sometimes means acting on a bluff. In other words, we don’t know if we’re going to succeed, but we act as if we will.

That’s what self-confidence is all about.

But we’ve learned to live in fear, to act only when we’ve filled in lots of Excel files, when we’ve considered and calculated all the risks… STOP!

Having self-confidence means believing that it’s possible, and taking action with a heart full of hope and armed with unfailing courage.

So, I invite you to write down on a piece of paper the beginning of a sentence: “And if I had fun believing that it’s possible, then I’d…”.

Then, finish it in at least 10 different ways.

5 – The art of failing for self-confidence

One of the biggest obstacles to self-confidence is failure. Fear of failure, but also memories of past failures.

In fact, we live in a society in which failure is taboo; it’s something shameful that we have to drag behind us indefinitely.

But failure is a necessary part of life. It’s because we fail that we learn.

That’s why healthy, solid self-confidence is built on failure. So it’s high time you changed the way you look at failure, accepted it and even looked forward to it.

So, I invite you to write down the beginning of a sentence on a piece of paper: “And if I were no longer afraid of failing, then I would…”.

Then finish it in 10 different ways.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How do I know what I really want? 5 tips
Discover Making the right choice: 4 tips to stop being afraid

I recommend this inspiring book:

The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell
Mr. Maxwell is a very readable and likeable author. His style is rich in well-chosen quotations.
This book is truly full of wisdom. I have rarely read so many good thoughts in such a short time.
I like the way the chapters are organized. This allows you to read individual topics step by step and, IMPORTANTLY, work through them. At the end of each chapter, there are suggestions on how to put them into practice.
Ideal for working on yourself, building life visions and reflecting on them.
If you don’t know what you’re doing with your life, or where you’re going, this book is invaluable in helping you discover the principles of personal development that will boost your self-confidence.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself