We spend far too much time overthinking the causes of our unhappiness and malaise. Yet the secret to happiness isn’t understanding or analyzing, it’s taking action, building a happier, more serene life step by step. Here’s how, in 3 easy steps.

1 – Don’t think too long about why

I’ve been guiding people towards happiness for several years now, and I’ve come to realize that we all have a tendency (because I made this mistake myself for years) to overthink the why, to overanalyze the reasons why we’re not happy in life.

We keep asking ourselves: why am I doing these things that don’t make me happy? Why do I feel these emotions that are hurting me? Or why did that person hurt me?

And we think for a long time, sometimes even for years, thinking that this will solve our problems.

But what we don’t realize is that the opposite is happening: we’re trapped in a vicious circle.

The more we think about the negative, the more we see the negative everywhere. The more we think about a situation, the more that situation repeats itself in our lives.

So stop!

Let’s stop thinking that by understanding why, we can free ourselves. In fact, we free ourselves by thinking about how.

Yes, it’s when we do things differently that we’ll change our lives, it’s when we take action to be truly happy that we’ll be happy.

So let’s stop thinking, let’s stop analyzing. In fact, let’s stop wasting our time living in our heads, dwelling on the past and torturing ourselves because of what happened.

What happened is what happened, there’s nothing you can do about it.

And if you don’t want to go through it all again, the first thing to do is to change the way you act.

That’s the secret of happiness.

Act differently in the present for a different future.

2 – Think how rather than too much

However, it’s not easy to act. In fact, we’ve learned to think and analyze problems rather than act.

In fact, we’ve learned to live in our heads, always trying to understand why things happen.

So how do we get from the why to the how?

It’s up to you.

You have to make a choice: continue to let your life unfold behind you while you brood over the “why” question, or move forward by thinking about the “how”: “How can I be happier from now on?

Which will it be?

A few years ago, I felt fed up. I was fed up with not being happy, so much so that I decided to learn how to be happy. To do this, I started thinking about the “how” and detached myself from the “why”, and everything changed.

I started to change my habits, I took actions that built my happiness today.

But to do that, I had to think about the “how”: how to be more confident in myself, not why I’m not confident.

How can I communicate better as a couple? How can I have a job that I really enjoy?

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to transform the questions you ask yourself: replace the “why” with the “how”.

Why am I not happy? How can I be happy?

Can you see the difference? And it’s in this difference that lies your happiness today and tomorrow.

3 – Act instead of overthinking

Acting is the secret of happiness.

Indeed, happiness is in the doing, because it’s based on what you do, on your daily habits in particular.

Yet we’ve learned to wait for happiness.

We even believe that happiness is a lottery: some people are lucky enough to be happy, while others are not.

We think we’re simply unlucky. In fact, we think we’re not cut out for happiness.

But if there’s one thing I’m convinced of in life, it’s that we can all be happy, and that we all deserve it.

In other words, we’re all made for happiness.

The problem is that we spend more time waiting for it, envying it in others and thinking about it, than actually doing something to build it.

Because happiness is built through small, everyday actions.

So, I’m going to ask you this question that’s going to change everything, but that may be uncomfortable for you:

What do you do on a daily basis to be happy? What actions have you put in place?

If you have, congratulations. Keep up the good work! Go even further.

If you don’t. Remember that if you do nothing, if you change nothing, nothing will change.

In fact, if you want to be happy in life, act!

No one else will do it for you.

That’s why take your happiness into your own hands. As I have done, and as hundreds of people have done with my help.

You can be happy, act like it.

Your happiness is within your reach, just waiting for you.

Different ways to be happy:

Read one personal development article a day for 1 month.
Turn a why into a how and list on a sheet of paper 5 different ways of solving that how.
Start a new habit now.
Call a trusted friend and tell them you’re taking your happiness into your own hands.
Start a diary called “My quest for happiness begins today” and take stock every evening of what you’ve done and felt.
Commit to reading a personal development book and apply one of the tips you read each week.
Start a morning routine.
Sign up for yoga or meditation classes.
Find your passion(s)

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Take charge of your life: 4 tips for taking your happiness into your own hands
Discover How can I stop thinking? 3 techniques to calm your mind

I recommend this inspiring book:

Stop Thinking, Start Living: Discover Lifelong Happiness by Richard Carlson

In this book, Richard Carlson encourages us to break free from the cycle of overthinking and adopt a more action-oriented approach to life. Carlson offers practical ideas and strategies for overcoming analysis paralysis and living a more fulfilling, meaningful life. By emphasizing the importance of taking action, the book inspires readers to move beyond overthinking and actively engage in the present moment, fostering a path to lifelong happiness.

I loved every part of this book.
It shows how we make things worse by our own thoughts. It should be taught to children in school, all ages in fact.
I’m definitely going to read it again.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself