We haven’t learned how to be happy. It’s obvious! Indeed, we spend our time trying to guess what other people think, because we believe that our happiness depends on other people, what they think of us or what they do for us. But our happiness depends solely on ourselves. Our happiness starts with ourselves. That’s why introspection is the key to happiness. Here are 6 steps to introspection, step by step and gently.

1 – Take a break

For introspection, it’s essential to take a break. But in our busy daily lives, this can be a bit tricky.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to learn to do nothing, to allow yourself to do nothing.

In fact, have you ever noticed how, as soon as you’ve finished something, you rush off to another task?

How about giving yourself 5 minutes?

5 minutes to breathe, drink a glass of water and look out the window.

5 minutes to stretch your body and massage the back of your neck.

Because introspection begins with silence, calm and a certain immobility.

After all, we don’t introspect by doing ten thousand things at once.

That said, the good news is that you don’t need an hour to do your introspection either.

In fact, 5 minutes is enough. 5 minutes, regularly, of course. (laughs)

So, ask yourself right now: how can you take more 5-minute breaks in your daily routine?

2 – Taking stock for introspection

So, what to do with this moment of silence and immobility? Take stock!

Start with a simple question: how do I feel right now?

Then dig a little deeper: has anything been weighing on me lately?

If so, review the situation. Describe it precisely.

Why is this situation weighing on you? What’s happened?

Stick to the facts, don’t fall into interpretation.

3 – Focus on yourself

Indeed, one of the problems with introspection is our tendency to interpret things, but also to focus only on others.

Why did they say or do that? What were they thinking and what are they thinking now?

In fact, the way others look at us is too important for us, and it weighs on us, even devours us.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to refocus on yourself.

What do you think of the situation that’s weighing you down? How would you like to react to it?

Do you have any ideas on how to avoid such situations in the future?

What do you need? What do you want?

Because introspection is the art of coming back to oneself to know oneself better, to understand oneself better and thus make better decisions to create a happier, sweeter life.

But, unfortunately, all too often, we make our decisions based on what we think others think, so that they like us, appreciate us.

That’s why refocus on yourself, allow yourself to do that. It’s necessary, vital!

Because you’re here to be you and live your life according to your needs and desires. And not according to anyone else’s.

4 – Replace guilt with benevolence

So when we look back on certain things that affect us, when we refocus on ourselves, we tend to put ourselves down and feel guilty.

Indeed, we never see ourselves as good enough, we always see only our faults. That’s why our introspective moments become sessions in which we beat ourselves up.

So stop!

Because introspection is the art of cultivating kindness towards ourselves. In fact, it’s the art of taking a gentler, more understanding, more compassionate look at ourselves.

That’s why, when you look back on an event, always replace your guilt with kindness.

After all, it’s when you’re feeling the least sure of yourself that you need your kindness the most.

So breathe and talk to yourself, welcome yourself with more kindness.

5 -Replace judgment with curiosity and introspection

It’s all too easy to criticize and judge ourselves harshly.

Yet when we do our introspection, it’s far more interesting and useful for us to take a curious look.

In fact, when you refocus on yourself about something that’s weighing on you, ask yourself with curiosity: why did I react the way I did? And if I had reacted like that, how would I have felt?

Imagine, observe, be more curious about yourself.

In fact, stop putting yourself in boxes: I’m too selfish, too bad, too hot-tempered, too lacking in self-confidence.

Instead, try to break out of them. Try to see what you could be, what you could become, through new awareness and new decisions.

Because introspection helps you to become a better person, by making you aware of what’s weighing you down, what’s bothering you, what you’d like to change and what you can change!

6 – Choosing to learn, grow and evolve in order to introspect

Finally, introspection is the perfect time to remember that we’re here to learn, grow and evolve.

Indeed, we’re not here to be perfect, but to learn. Can you see the difference?

That’s why, when you introspect, choose to learn.

Stop thinking you’re stuck, or even the victim of a curse. You can change, you can and you’re here to do so.

However, choosing to learn and change doesn’t mean rejecting yourself. Quite the contrary, in fact.

In fact, introspection is the art of looking ourselves in the face, in all honesty, but with great benevolence and the will to become more and more the person we want to be.

That’s why it’s essential above all to accept ourselves as we are, to stop pretending, to dare to see what’s bothering us and to roll up our sleeves to change slowly, step by step.

That’s the magic of introspection, and the key to happiness!

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Learn from your mistakes: 4 valuable tips to avoid making them again
Discover Personal introspection: 80 questions to help you get to know yourself better

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt

The author explores the keys to happiness through the prism of ancient wisdom and modern science. Through introspection and the exploration of diverse philosophical and psychological perspectives, Haidt provides insight into the fundamental aspects that contribute to a fulfilled and happy life. The book encourages us to engage in introspective practices to understand and enhance our own well-being, making it a valuable resource for those seeking happiness through self-discovery.

It took me a long time to finish it, as some parts called for slow, repetitive reading. However, I’m glad I finished it, as it contains some important points that enable us to see life from a different point of view.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself