Having a positive attitude means understanding that our words have an impact on the life we lead. We can see this in our relationships. Our words can do harm or good to others.

In the same way, our words have a powerful impact on our lives. Yes, our words can create good things and not-so-good things.

That’s why I invite you to pay close attention to them, and in particular to these 4 expressions. I call them language tics, because we don’t even realize we’re using them, and they lead us to anchor our negative attitude a little more deeply.

1 – Stop saying “yes, but” and adopt a positive attitude

This “yes, but” is the most representative expression of our difficulty in making decisions. It paralyzes us. It forces us to tread water in our lives, with only fear and doubt for company.

In other words, to have a positive attitude, it’s time to make decisions.

Being positive means knowing that whatever choice we make, it will always be the right one. And why is that? Because it’s the only one that will be part of our life. All other choices will be mere suppositions, fantasies.

Being positive means understanding that every life experience is a good one. There are always lessons to be learned, joys to be experienced and sorrows that make us stronger. Each life experience brings us a little closer to what we really want to live, experience and feel.

So let’s leave our “yes, but’s” aside and ask ourselves instead, “What would bring me the most joy?” or “With which choice could I learn the most about life and about myself?”

2 – Forgetting the “what ifs

“What if this happens”, “What if he tells me this”, “What if it doesn’t go as planned”?

In life, nothing goes according to plan. Nobody’s perfect, not even life itself. So why do we waste our time and energy trying to guess the worst that could happen in the future?

But that doesn’t change the fact that “what ifs” ruin far more lives than they save!

In fact, job interviews go much more smoothly when we have a positive attitude. In other words, when we stop torturing ourselves with “what ifs”.

A job interview goes better when we have a positive attitude. In other words, when we stop torturing ourselves with “what ifs”.

So let’s turn our “what ifs” into “I’m going to do my best, and whatever happens, I’ll get through it.”

So, to have a positive attitude is to stop imagining a future full of disasters and make the choice to trust.

3 – Remove the “because of” to have a positive attitude

Saying “because of” implies anger and frustration. Yet while anger pushes us forward to re-establish our boundaries, the “because of” keeps us in our victim role.

Yes, “because of this or that”, we can’t have, be or do what we want. It’s terrible when you think about it…

Fortunately, “because of” can be transformed into “thanks to”. I know it won’t always be easy, but it’s important to try, because it’s the only way to regain control of our lives.

Indeed, to be happy in our lives, we need to feel in control of our lives.

So, to have a positive attitude, always look for the opportunities that lie behind every event that seems negative to you.

4 – Putting an end to “the last time

“The last time” locks us into our comfort zone. We believe that everything will happen as it always has. It won’t! Change is part of life. Everything’s changing all the time!

So let’s not dwell too much on “the last time”. If the last time makes us smile, then let’s smile. Then let’s concentrate on what’s happening now and accept it for what it is. Indeed, let’s not try in vain to turn it into “the last time”. We can’t!

So, to have a positive attitude. understand that each moment is different from the next and that clinging to the past means letting the present slip away, and with it all our chances of being happy.

5 – Watch your words

I really invite you to listen to yourself speak and recognize all the times you say :

yes, but
what if
because of
last time
Because having a positive attitude depends on our ability to pay attention to the words that come out of our mouths. Yes, our words can make us happy or unhappy.

If you don’t have anything positive to say, then stay silent. In fact, a silent smile is often better than a negative monologue…

Remember that your life is meant to be gentle, so start by being gentle, gentle with your words.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to free yourself from regret: 4 great tips
Discover Zen quotes: 70 soothing quotes

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Gift of Adversity: The Unexpected Benefits of Life’s Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections by Norman E. Rosenthal

In The Gift of Adversity, Norman E. Rosenthal explores the transformative power of maintaining a positive attitude in the face of life’s challenges. Through personal anecdotes and stories of resilience, Rosenthal demonstrates how adversity can serve as a catalyst for growth and self-discovery. This book encourages us to adopt a positive perspective, viewing difficulties not as obstacles, but as opportunities for personal and emotional development. By learning from adversity, individuals can cultivate a positive attitude that enhances their overall well-being and outlook on life.

This is a very positive and uplifting book that deals with all types of potentially demeaning and destructive situations, in which people have found the strength, ingenuity or grace to come through and learn from them. The author seems to be such a compassionate, sensitive and insightful man that it’s nice to live inside his head for a while!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself