Happiness can be learned. Unfortunately, we didn’t learn how to be happy at school, where we learned to read, write and count. That’s why, when it comes to happiness, it’s above all a question of relying on ourselves, and therefore of rolling up our sleeves. So, how do you learn to be happy in life? Here are 8 powerful steps to help you rediscover happiness and joy!

1 – Getting back into sport to learn how to be happy

The first step in taking control of your happiness is to take up sport. Because doing sport not only feels good physically, but mentally too. Indeed, by moving your body, you secrete happiness hormones, but you also improve your self-confidence and self-esteem.

In fact, when I decided to learn how to be happy, I started by getting up a little earlier in the morning to do yoga and fitness exercises. As time went by, I felt that it was good for my morale, but more than that, it made me proud of myself. Proud of finding this willpower within myself.

So I’m convinced that getting back into sport makes for a happier life. So there’s no need to go overboard. Just doing it regularly is the way to happiness!

2 – Read, watch videos and learn about personal development

The second step in learning how to be happy is to take a course in personal development. Where can you find good advice on how to regain your self-confidence, how to manage your emotions and stress, and how to find greater motivation and self-discipline? In other words, where can we find answers to all the questions that will lead us, little by little, to our own happiness?

When I decided to learn how to be happy, I bought my first personal development book. And I’ve continued to buy books, read them and apply their advice, one by one. Some were more useful than others, others more enjoyable. Some I didn’t like at all.

But all of them have helped me move forward on the road to happiness, and that’s why I’m convinced that, whether in book or video format, personal development is essential if you want to learn how to be happy. I’m so convinced of this that I’ve made it my profession.

3 – Practice gratitude to learn to be happy

For me, gratitude is the best remedy for depression, but also for stress, anxiety, dissatisfaction and any negative feeling or emotion. To practice gratitude, starting a journal is a good start.

This gratitude journal can be a notebook, a notepad or even a sheet of paper to start with. And, in this journal, every day, and even several times a day, we write down at least 3 things we’re grateful for right now, in the moment. It could be the blue sky, a bird we’ve seen during the day, our family, this morning’s good coffee… Whatever we want, as long as it makes our heart beat with joy or sweetness.

In fact, practicing gratitude is really indispensable, because it allows us to capture the small, sweet, joyful moments in our daily lives. And learning to be happy means understanding that happiness is essentially found in all those little everyday moments.

4 – Calming relationships for less stress

When we want to learn how to be happy, we need to calm down our relationships. Indeed, I’ve noticed that, all too often, our relationships prevent us from being happy. They stress us out, even ruin our lives.

But when we take a closer look, we can see that we spend an enormous amount of time rehashing bad memories and picking apart each other’s slightest remarks to justify the pain we feel. What if we stopped torturing ourselves in this way?

Because if we really want to be happy in this life, it’s time to take a step aside with our relationships. In other words, to stop blaming others for our unhappiness and happiness.

Soothe all that by taking back that responsibility. To do this, focus a little more on yourself, your life, your happiness and a little less on what others have done and are doing. What do you think? For me, it really changed everything. So what are you waiting for?

5 – Set concrete, realistic goals to learn to be happy

I believe that learning to be happy is above all learning the art of taking action. Indeed, I’ve noticed that happiness lies in action. And therefore, in the art of setting goals. Concrete, realistic goals.

In other words, it’s not a question of embarking on goals that are too vague and out of reach, but rather of starting small, starting somewhere.

For example, if you’d like to run more, don’t ask yourself to run a marathon, but rather to run once a week. If you’d like to change your job, don’t ask you to change jobs right away, but start by researching a career change, for example.

Start at the beginning and stop pressuring yourself with the end. Do you see what this could change?

6 – Start finding solutions to problems

So when we look for advice on how to be happy in life, it’s often because we have problems in our lives. And now it’s time to realize that happiness isn’t about having problems. Because problems are part of life.

But, what happens when you bemoan the fact that you have problems in your life? While you’re grumbling and stamping your feet, you’re not busy looking for solutions. In other words, you’re wasting your energy.

So learning to be happy means learning to look for solutions to your problems. And then to choose a solution, apply it and see what happens. And to look for another solution, and another if need be.

Understand that it’s not the problems that make you unhappy, it’s your attitude towards them. Take a breath! And find solutions. You’ll get there. One solution at a time. One problem at a time. When I learned that, everything changed. That’s why I wholeheartedly recommend it.

7 – Encourage and congratulate yourself to learn to be happy

The seventh step to happiness is to learn to encourage and congratulate yourself. Because all too often we criticize ourselves, and in a very harsh way. But are we really that bad, that stupid, that ugly? The answer is no!

And if you want to be happier, it’s time to give yourself time for encouragement and congratulations. Personally, I like to encourage myself in the morning in front of the mirror while brushing my teeth, and congratulate myself in the evening while still brushing my teeth. Try it for at least a week, and you’ll see that it’ll do you a world of good!

8 – Stop grumbling to regain self-confidence

It’s not the ups and downs of our lives that prevent us from being happy, but the way we react to them. We tend to grumble, but grumbling has never solved any problems, and what’s more, it tires us out enormously. We stress, we even panic. So stop!

To stop grumbling, there’s no choice but to make the commitment. “Today, I won’t grumble”. This commitment has to be renewed every day, of course.

It’s a hard commitment to keep, I know. But just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean it’s impossible, and I can vouch for that too.

I can also tell you how good it feels not to grumble for a day. So, with all my heart, give it a try!

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover What does it mean to be happy? 5 misconceptions about happiness
Discover Being unhappy: my life before learning to be happy

I recommend this inspiring book:

Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill by Matthieu Ricard

In Happiness, Matthieu Ricard, former molecular biologist turned Buddhist monk, shares his knowledge on how to cultivate happiness through the practice of mindfulness and compassion. This book combines Eastern philosophy with scientific research, and offers practical exercises to enhance well-being. Ricard guides us on a transformative journey towards happiness, emphasizing the importance of mental training, altruism and the cultivation of positive emotions. Happiness is a guide for those seeking to learn and integrate practices that lead to a more fulfilling and joyful life.

A great book on happiness that is explored in detail and from many points of view.

It gives me good ideas, lots to think about, a better understanding of Buddhism and it has helped me feel happier and in tune with life itself.

It’s a very useful read!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself