I’m unhappy, unhappy is a difficult statement to make, and yet it’s a salutary one. Indeed, when we put our unhappiness into words, when we become truly aware of it, only then can we change things. And to change things, it’s essential to understand the mistakes we’ve made in the past, so we don’t make them again. That’s why I’m sharing with you the 6 mistakes we all make and how to free ourselves from them.

1 – I’m unhappy: comparing yourself to others

If there’s one thing happiness doesn’t like, it’s comparison with others. With those who have more. With those who seem to be better off than we are.

And yet, it’s ingrained in us. What’s more, over the past few years, social networking has made it worse and worse.

Indeed, from our sofa, we can compare ourselves to others for hours on end, accentuating our sense of malaise.

Why do we compare ourselves?

Quite simply, because we’ve learned to. At home, our parents compared us with our brothers and sisters or with our friends. And at school, we were compared with the grading system: “You’re better than him and worse than him”.

And this need to know if we are more or have more than others is still ingrained in us. This need for reassurance.

But here again, we’re making a mistake. Because instead of comparing ourselves with those who have less than us and those who seem to be less than us, we always compare ourselves with those who have more and seem to be better than us.

And that’s why so many of us say to ourselves, “I’m unhappy.

So how do we get out of it?

Stop comparing yourself as worse or better. Stop it.

Come back to yourself. Repeat over and over, thousands of times, “I’m a wonderful, wonderful person. I love and accept myself as I am.”

Because the secret to happiness is to love yourself. With all your heart. Unconditionally.

Remember, everything starts with loving yourself.

2 – Fear of judgement

It’s a terrible mistake to fall into fear of the gaze and judgment of others. And, if we’re completely honest with ourselves, we all suffer from it!

And that’s normal.

In fact, being afraid of being looked at and judged, being afraid of being rejected, is a fear that has been ingrained in us since the dawn of man.

Because to be rejected is to be alone, and in those days being alone meant death.

Today, we can survive alone, because we no longer need to hunt in groups, but being alone is very hard to live with.

That’s why this fear is still very much with us.

Unfortunately, these days, it’s one of the reasons why we ruin our lives.

In fact, in early man, this fear simply encouraged individuals to behave well as a group: not to kill their neighbor, not to steal…

But today, we’ve come to fear not wearing the right outfit, not being good-looking enough, not being intelligent enough… Which leads us to repeat to ourselves: “I’m unhappy”.

Unhappy at being afraid of everything and everyone, unhappy at not being able to make decisions easily, and unhappy at not being able to be myself.

What if we stopped making this mistake? What can we do?

There’s no miracle for that, because it’s not other people who are going to allow you to be yourself – only you have that power.

Take it!

To help you do this, I invite you to repeat to yourself: “I’m here to be me. To embody who I really am. I’m different, like everyone else here. I have the right to be different, and I have the right to be me.

3 – I’m unhappy: dwelling on the past

Do you tend to dwell on the past? To say to yourself: “This and that happened to me”?

And then, unconsciously, go on to say: “that’s why I’m unhappy”.

Because, all too often, we make the mistake of dwelling on our past, the worst of our past, and this ruins our present, and worse still, it can ruin our whole life.

In other words, it’s a terrible mistake, and one that many of us fall into every day.

So how can we free ourselves from it?

I invite you, first of all, to realize that the past is over. What’s more, your past doesn’t define the person you are today.

In fact, the ordeal you went through is something you received from the past. In other words, it’s not about you today.

That’s why, right now, you’ve got a choice to make: to use this past trial as a present-day lesson in how to become a stronger, braver and more humble person, or as an excuse for being an unhappy person.

Which do you choose? The choice is yours.

Secondly, it’s possible that, in spite of yourself, your thoughts regularly bring you back to the past that makes you suffer. This is normal. Thoughts are automatic, you can’t help them, you can’t control them.

But you can silence them, as often as necessary.

To do this, when you hear thoughts that rehash your past, stop. Just for a few seconds. Breathe consciously. Listen to what’s going on around you, smell the smells, look around you with curiosity.

In fact, concentrate on your 5 senses to plunge intensely into the present moment and detach yourself from your train of thought.

It’s an exercise you should repeat as soon as you dwell on the past.

4 – Losing hope in life

Sometimes, life hits us hard on the head, and then some. That’s when we’re tempted to lose hope in life.

We no longer believe, we no longer trust. We say to ourselves “I’m unhappy, unhappy and always will be”.

But if you’re reading this article, it’s because there’s something deep inside you that doesn’t believe what you’re telling yourself, something that doesn’t lose hope and never will. And who’s that? It’s your heart.

In fact, it’s your mind that’s pushing you to lose hope. More precisely, it’s your ego. It’s offended, disappointed by life. It says to itself: “How dare life do so much harm to me! And it gets angry, preferring to sulk rather than carry on.

But his heart understands life. Life is a teacher. Indeed, it teaches us to become stronger, but also more humble.

Because we can’t control life, we’re never safe. That’s how it is for everyone.

So don’t let your ego get in the way. Instead, team up with your heart, which will reassure you: “Tomorrow is another day, you’ll see. It may take a little time, but you’ll be fine. In the meantime, I’m here, I’ll always be here.”

In other words, never cling to the ups and downs of life that hurt you. Accept them as part of your life, as milestones, as lessons. Then open yourself up to something else, to what comes next.

5 – Victimization

Sometimes we lose ourselves in relationships that are harmful or toxic.

Because we give our power to others and we don’t know how to take it back.

In fact, this has happened because, at some point in our lives, we’ve been blinded by the beauty, power and radiance of others, and we’ve forgotten that we too are beauty, power and radiance.

In other words, having looked at others too much, having given them too much of our attention, we completely forgot ourselves.

But it’s not irreparable.

In fact, at any moment, you have the power to come back to yourself.

Because you’re nobody’s victim. You are never!

That’s why, if right now you’re feeling unhappy in one of your relationships, pick yourself up. Take back your power.

Say STOP! Get some distance. Ask for help if you need it.

But don’t stay where you don’t feel good.

You’re not a victim, you’re powerful.

6 – I’m unhappy: never change anything in your life

It’s normal to wake up one morning and say to yourself: “I don’t like my life as it is today”.

In fact, we don’t always notice it, but we do change. Constantly.

Our tastes, desires and dreams change.

That’s why we can’t go on living lives in which we do everything the same way we do it all the time.

In other words, don’t be a prisoner of your habits. And allow yourself to change them regularly.

To have fun. To explore new things. To try new things.

You change. Your life changes. That’s normal.

That’s why, if lately you’ve been repeating to yourself “I’m unhappy”, I wholeheartedly invite you to check your lifestyle habits.

Do you do what you do day after day, because you like what you do, because it gives you pleasure, or because you believe that’s what you should do, that’s the way it is and no other way?

In other words, are you doing things to be happy, or are you doing things on autopilot, without asking yourself what’s in it for you or what drives you to do it?

Remember, your happiness must be at the center of your life, at the heart of your daily concerns.

Invite it everywhere.

To do this, put your conscience back into the smallest of your daily gestures, and put happiness into them.

For example: when you shower, when you prepare food, at work, in your relationships… In other words, everywhere and all the time!

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Happy people: their 15 favorite habits
Discover Do you have to be selfish to be happy?

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
In The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera weaves a tale that explores the complex nature of existence and the weight of individual choices. The characters grapple with the paradox of the lightness and heaviness of life, tackling themes of love, identity and the quest for meaning. The novel addresses the struggles and unhappiness that arise when confronted with the ephemeral nature of existence, making it a poignant exploration of the human condition and the search for fulfillment in the ephemeral nature of life.

I finished reading this book a few days ago and have already decided to read it again one day. It’s a serious read, the kind of book where you sometimes have to sit down and think about a sentence before continuing. Fascinating!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself