Having time for yourself has become a real headache. We’re increasingly overworked on a daily basis, and stress is an integral part of this. What can you do about it? Here are 7 mistakes to avoid if you want to stop being overwhelmed.

1 – Having too many goals

In our increasingly performance-oriented world, we set ourselves too many goals.

Yes, we should have a career, a fulfilling family life, a full social life, as well as a perfect body and a home worthy of the greatest decorating magazines. Not to mention personal and spiritual development.

That’s a lot, isn’t it?

And yet, isn’t that what you’ve been chasing for some time?

Having time for yourself means reviewing your goals.

Indeed, rather than chasing after a dream life idealized by the modern world and ending up completely overwhelmed and stressed, we could return to more simplicity. Perhaps we could even talk about more self-respect.

Yes, remember, you’re a human being, not a do-it-yourself machine.

What’s more, your life doesn’t have to tick any boxes to be happy and successful.

So, it’s time to relax and sort out your goals: what’s important to me? If I were to have just one goal, just one priority, what would it be?

You have 24 hours every day. Not to run around, completely overwhelmed and stressed out behind goals, society’s fantasies. You have 24 hours to be happy, right here, right now.

To have time for yourself is to stop running after too many goals, goals that don’t even really make you happy.

Come back to yourself, to what’s important.

2 – Not knowing how to say no: a mistake when you want time for yourself

We’ve learned to be nice, and that means satisfying other people’s requests. In fact, saying no, refusing help, is not nice!

And yet, it’s necessary, sometimes even vital.

Because you’re not here to satisfy others, you’re here to satisfy yourself. There’s nothing selfish about that. In fact, in many cases, it’s just a question of self-respect.

Do you think that being alive, that this miracle you’ve been granted, comes down to doing things for others and ending up completely overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of each day?

Something’s not right. And, maybe you don’t allow yourself to say no.

Having time for yourself means knowing how to sort out your requests. Answering the ones that seem important to you, and especially the ones you really want to say yes to. And free yourself from the others by saying: no, I don’t have the time.

It’s not about saying no to everything. It’s simply a question of no longer putting others ahead of our need for time for ourselves.

In other words, to stop being overwhelmed, learn to say no.

3 – Not knowing how to ask for help

Just as we don’t know how to say no to others, we also don’t know how to ask others for help.

Which is paradoxical. In fact, we forbid ourselves to say no, because for us, helping others is normal. But we hesitate to ask for help, as if it’s not normal for others to help us.

More beliefs that spoil our lives…

So, to have time for ourselves, we need to change the way we think and act, and learn to ask for help.

At home and at work.

It’s not a question of forcing others, but of asking. Most of the time, we’re surprised by the number of people who agree to help us, and with a smile!

So don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed and stressed to ask for help.

You don’t have to do everything yourself. You’re not responsible for everything.

And remember, you don’t have to control everything either. Let others have their say, make mistakes and learn from them.

Having time for yourself means remembering that not everything depends on you, and that you don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders alone.

4 – Listen to the perfectionist in you

There are things we do that take up an enormous amount of our time. It’s not so much the activity itself that takes time, but the way we approach it.

Indeed, many of us are perfectionists, and so we take particular care with certain things that unfortunately don’t need it.

In other words, we waste our time.

Here, it’s a question of observing ourselves with curiosity, even humor: what am I giving too much importance to? Too much time?

Yes, what are your time-wasting habits?

To stop being overwhelmed, you need to know how to be satisfied with just the right amount, rather than with absolute perfection.

In fact, having time for yourself means first and foremost being aware of the things that are really important to you and making time for them, and only giving just enough time to others.

5 – Surrounding yourself with too many people, another mistake when you want to have time for yourself

In the modern world, we’re invited to surround ourselves with lots of objects and lots of people.

Yes, we have to fill our lives, we have to overflow with things and relationships. Just look at the commercials and films of the moment.

To have time for ourselves, we need to sort out not only our home, but also our relationships.

Who or what do you spend too much time with, when it doesn’t bring you joy?

Having time for yourself means putting joy back at the center of your life, letting it guide you in your choices.

If something or someone doesn’t bring you joy, then why keep wasting your time?

It may sound harsh, but it’s obvious.

After all, you have 24 hours every day, a gift that life gives you. So how do you want to enjoy this gift? It belongs to you!

In fact, it’s not the fact that you’re overwhelmed that proves your life is full, it’s the joy you feel, which is your only guide!

6 – Not knowing your essentials: a mistake when you want time for yourself

What’s important to you? What’s really important to you? In fact, what makes you happy?

These are questions we don’t ask ourselves often enough.

In the end, when we lack time for ourselves, when we’re overwhelmed, it’s because we’ve often lost sight of what’s essential. In fact, we’re living on automatic pilot. Yes, we let society and those around us decide our priorities for us.

It’s time to put some conscience and heart back into our lives.

Why are we here? Why do we have 24 hours in the day?

There are many answers: to be happy, to vibrate with joy, to love, to grow, to feel…

Do all the activities that punctuate your day, that devour your 24 hours, serve this purpose: to be happy, to vibrate with joy…

Having time for yourself means getting back to what’s essential. Don’t let anything but your heart decide what you do today.

Of course, there will always be obligations in your daily life, but if you reduce their number and add more activities that bring you joy, then your obligations won’t have the same flavour. And your life won’t have the same flavour either.

Remember that your time is your most precious asset, so don’t let it slip away in activities that don’t really make you happy.

Choose! Try, experiment. And above all, always be aware of what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

7 – Not accepting yourself as you are

As we’ve seen, society, through advertising and films, invites us to chase after goals that take up all our time and energy. Goals that don’t even necessarily make us happy. Goals that make us feel very guilty indeed.

We spend our days chasing things that make us feel like we’re not enough.

Not rich enough, not smart enough, thin enough, successful enough, sociable enough…

To stop being overwhelmed, we need to respect and accept ourselves as we are.

In fact, stop trying to be something else and learn to love yourself as you are.

It’s wonderful to have goals and to want to improve, and it gives your life a purpose and makes you happier.

But let’s make sure we do it in a spirit of joy, curiosity and even love.

Yet today, we chase after things in frustration and sometimes, in self-rejection.

In other words, having time for ourselves means coming back to ourselves, making the choice to respect and love ourselves as we are.

In fact, it’s about making a choice: do I choose myself as I am, or do I choose what society wants me to be?

Having time for yourself means giving your time to the things that bring you joy, and freeing yourself from all the things you do out of guilt.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover My 10 tips for better personal organization
Discover Best practices for better time management and productivity

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.

The author explores the importance of embracing vulnerability and finding time for self-care. The book encourages us to cultivate a sense of worth, abandon perfectionism and prioritize moments of authenticity and self-compassion. Brown’s insights inspire us to create meaningful moments for ourselves, fostering personal development and a deeper connection with our true selves.

This is an indispensable book for those seeking mental peace and wanting to combat self-rejection in their minds.
It helped me understand how gratitude can help us gain a positive and encouraging perspective on our lives.

Living in a society where everything is negative and we develop self-critical and self-destructive behavior, this book is one of the most useful tools.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself