What can you do to help a depressed person? We all feel helpless when faced with the depression of someone close to us. What can we do? How can we help? What are the mistakes to avoid? Here are 7 tips to help you do your best.

1 – Being there to help a depressed person

Depressed people, like anyone else, need support and presence. This doesn’t mean being given advice or instructions, but being present.

But what does it mean to be present?

To be present is to be available for the other person, to be by their side and to listen to them. No more, no less.

It’s putting both ears to the other’s ears, it’s sitting beside them and just saying nothing or drinking a coffee, watching a film, talking about the weather.

Being present is something sweet, almost restful. There’s nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing to do, just be there, in the moment.

2 – Listen without judging

This may sound like a trite piece of advice: listen without judging. And yet, it’s essential. We may not realize it, but when a depressed person tells us about their sadness and fears, we tend to trivialize or minimize them.

In other words, we tell them: “It’s nothing, it’ll pass. Don’t worry, it’ll be all right.”

Which is true, but it’s not what the depressed person needs to hear.

In fact, a depressed person often doesn’t want to hear anything. They want to be able to express themselves, to talk without feeling judged. No more, no less.

So, if you know how to listen and not judge, understand that it’s already helping a depressed person.

3 – Offer help, not advice

A depressed person is often overwhelmed by everyday things. They can no longer manage anything.

So offering to help with the shopping, cooking a few meals or making a doctor’s appointment can really help a depressed person.

However, be careful not to make the mistake of trying to advise the person: “You should do this and that. You shouldn’t do this and that.”

Simply offer to help. Nothing more, nothing less.

4 – Checking in regularly to help a depressed person

Depression forces people to stay at home. They don’t want to go out or even see anyone. This is normal. Sadness translates into withdrawal.

However, this doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t need support and presence – quite the contrary.

That’s why it’s important to check in regularly. Whatever the reaction. Simply send a message, drop in to see the person. Not too often either, but regularly.

You don’t have to spend hours there, just a cup of coffee, a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates… A little attention can really help a depressed person.

5 – Be patient

A depressed person is a person with an illness. Recovery is difficult and time-consuming. That’s why patience is essential.

Don’t expect the person to get better overnight. One day, they will get better, but you have to wait and be patient.

Accept the long process of healing. Don’t have any expectations. It won’t be easy, it’ll even be difficult for you, you’ll miss the person, you won’t always understand why they are the way they are, but be patient.

6 – Ask a mental health professional to help a depressed person

If you’re feeling completely overwhelmed and really worried, then talk to a mental health professional: a psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist, and ask for more personalized advice on how to help a depressed person.

7 – Taking care of yourself to overcome a loved one’s depression

To help a depressed person, you’ll need all your energy, even your enthusiasm. That’s why it’s essential to take care of yourself.

When it’s too much to bear, too heavy, understand that it’s time to take care of yourself. That doesn’t mean cutting yourself off.

It means giving yourself a little more time to yourself and for yourself alone. To take care of your good mood.

Because it’s not your tiredness, your worries, your bad mood that’s going to help a depressed person.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Autumn depression: 5 tips to restore your zest for life
Discover How to develop patience: 6 helpul tips

I recommend this inspiring book:

This Party’s Dead: Grief, Joy and Spilled Rum at the World’s Death Festivals

This captivating book explores the different ways in which cultures around the world approach death and celebrate the lives of the deceased. From solemn rituals to lively festivals, the author takes readers on a journey filled with grief, joy and spilled rum. This is a fascinating exploration of how societies commemorate the inevitable, revealing the complex tapestry of human emotions and traditions surrounding death.

This book is much more than what it describes! It’s a fascinating exploration of cultural expectations, mourning and mortality… but it feels like it’s being told over drinks and dessert by a close friend with a great sense of humor. The author is a fantastic writer (she’s a journalist) and makes you feel as if you’re traveling with her. It’s a very enjoyable read and not at all depressing (in case you were worried). I’m so glad I bought this book… I’m going to buy at least three copies to give as gifts!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself