The pain of unrequited love is intense. Because it puts an end to the dreams we’ve nurtured, but also because it destroys our self-esteem. So how do you get over unrequited love? Here are the 5 secrets to getting back on your feet quickly and regaining your serenity.

1 – Mourning unrequited love

When we realize that our love is unrequited, it’s essential to grieve.

The mourning of the relationship we had imagined, perhaps even down to the last detail and for a while.

In fact, the fall is hard, because the disappointment is great.

Indeed, the gap between our dreams and reality is a painful chasm.

So, how do we get over it quickly?

It’s all about accepting what is, and letting go of what isn’t.

And it doesn’t happen with a snap of the fingers.

In fact, accepting something that’s painful, letting go of something we’ve longed for, is a real process.

In other words, the work of acceptance and letting go has to be done over several days, even several times a day.

Because your thoughts are going to keep coming back to this unrequited love, it’s going to arouse emotions like sadness, maybe also anger, frustration and lack.

That’s why you need to accept what is, and let go of what isn’t, every time.

Until your thoughts and emotions calm down.

In other words, you’re going to have to be very patient and kind to yourself for a while.

Let your sad thoughts, your grief and your anger flow through you.

Don’t hold them back. Just accept and let go each time.

You’ll get over it, just give yourself time.

2 – Boosting self-esteem

After an unrequited love affair, our self-esteem may have taken a hit.

Indeed, we feel rejected and inevitably tell ourselves there’s a good reason for this.

So, on top of our sadness, disappointment and other not-so-pleasant emotions, we add some very critical thoughts about ourselves: “I knew it, I’m such a loser. Nobody loves me.”

That’s why it’s urgent to boost your self-esteem.

But how?

Well, to stop criticizing yourself and get over unrequited love, it’s time you understood that you can’t please everyone.

No matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try, you can’t please everyone!

And now you’re going to have to make a decision: stop trying to please people who don’t like you.

To do this, understand that you haven’t done anything wrong, but simply that you and the person you don’t like don’t get along.

Because we’re all unique and have different tastes, needs, desires and dreams.

That’s why we can’t please everyone.

Because what affects you doesn’t necessarily affect the other person, and vice versa. And that’s just the way it is.

So, just accept that with this person, you don’t agree. No more, no less.

And make the decision to stop wasting your time, your energy and your self-esteem trying to please someone you don’t like at all costs.

3 – Changing environment after unrequited love

To recover quickly from unrequited love, take care to get out of the environment you’re in, especially if the person who doesn’t share your love is present.

In fact, change your habits.

Go to other places, do other things, talk to other people.

Because, all too often, the grief of unrequited love leads us to close in on ourselves and even to shut ourselves away in the same environment in which, nevertheless, we don’t feel comfortable.

So give yourself the right to get out. And make the effort if you don’t feel like it.

Because if you don’t change anything, if you stay in the environment in which you don’t feel good, nothing will change.

4 – Cultivate your passions

When we experience unrequited love, we tend to focus entirely on it.

We ask ourselves a thousand questions: “Why me?” or “Why not me?”

And, without realizing it, we tread water, or even sink deeper into grief.

So, to avoid falling into this infernal cycle, I wholeheartedly invite you to cultivate your passions.

In other words, instead of focusing on what hurts you, focus on what makes you feel good.

What do you love to do? Do it!

What makes you curious? Test it.

In other words, if you like to read, then devour your piles of books. If you like sports, increase your number of sessions.

Or, if you’ve been watching candle-making and DIY tutorials for a while, now’s the time to get started.

Do things that make you feel good.

That way, you’ll stop listening to your thoughts, which only make you rehash what’s hurting you.

5 – Training for happiness after unrequited love

It’s obvious that experiencing unrequited love is painful, but it’s even more painful when we don’t know anything about happiness.

In other words, when we haven’t learned to accept things, to let go, to build up our self-esteem, to take care of our emotions, to cultivate our joie de vivre…

In fact, it’s quite possible that you’re making your happiness dependent on this relationship that won’t exist.

And that’s why you’re in so much pain today. Because you’re clinging on, you’re desperate too.

It’s only natural. It happens to everyone, every day.

But it could be softer, less painful.

But how? By training yourself to be happy.

Learn all those things that have the power to get you through life’s sorrows as gently as possible, those things that have the power to keep you smiling, despite everything, and make you feel solid in all circumstances.

Training myself to be happy was the best decision I ever made, and it changed everything. It’s changed me. That’s why I wholeheartedly advise you to take the plunge yourself. And I’ll be happy to accompany you.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Nobody loves me: 5 magic steps to feeling more loved
Discover Need to be loved: 5 soothing tips

I recommend this inspiring book:

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez

In this masterful novel, Gabriel García Márquez explores the complexities of unrequited love. Set against the backdrop of a life of desire, the story follows the characters of Florentino Ariza and Fermina Daza. Through lush prose and poignant narration, the novel explores the enduring nature of love, capturing the essence of unrequited affection and the passage of time. Love in the Time of Cholera resonates with themes of unfulfilled love and the human heart’s capacity for lasting devotion.

I loved the characters, who took the time to grow on us. The description of a time and place so different, yet human beings are the same, no matter where or when they live.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself