Your pet has just left you and you’re in a lot of pain. There’s a lot of sadness, anger and guilt eating away at you. You don’t know what to do with all these emotions, and you don’t even think you can get over them. Here are 6 tips to help you grieve for your pet as peacefully as possible.

1 – Ease your guilt

First of all, I’m writing this article because I lost my puppy this year. It was a very painful experience, because there was sadness of course, a lot of anger, but also a lot of guilt.

Why didn’t I see anything? And if I had, maybe it would have made a difference? Did I wait too long, or did I say goodbye too soon? Did I let him suffer or did I kill him?

Horrible questions. They’ve been going round and round in my head, and maybe they’re going round in your head right now.

I know how much it hurts.

Just to let you know, my puppy was born with a malformation in her pancreas and another in her liver. In other words, she was doomed from birth. No matter how many times the vet told me, no matter how many times he told me that very few people would have gone that far, nothing helped.

Because guilt, when it’s there, is irrational and only we can say stop: “Stop, I don’t want to feel guilty anymore. Stop, I want to mourn my pet in peace.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to say stop to yourself, to say stop to your negative thoughts that feed your guilt.

It’s not your fault.

Repeat these words to yourself: “It’s not my fault”. Over and over again.

2 – Living with sadness to grieve for your pet

When anger subsides, when guilt leaves us alone for a moment, sadness arrives.

And, more often than not, we reject it. We don’t want to cry, as if we’re afraid we won’t be able to stop.

So we lift our heads, clear our throats and take a deep breath.

But sadness is there for a reason. In fact, it’s there to help us cope with loss.

Sadness invites you to slow down and mourn your pet.

What’s more, tears are good for us, soothing us and healing our wound.

That’s why I invite you to cry when you feel the need. Don’t be ashamed, it’s human to cry.

3 – Don’t be alone

Next, it’s important to be able to talk about your grief, but not to just anyone. Because we don’t want to embarrass anyone and, above all, we don’t want to run into people who don’t understand our grief, people who minimize it or even mock it.

That’s why I invite you to talk about it with trusted friends, your vet, assistants or pet owners who know about this grief.

Because you can’t grieve for your pet alone.

In other words, reach out to others to share your grief.

And listen to what others have to say, because most of these people have lost their pets too. They’ve grieved too. So listen to their stories.

Of course, they’ll tell you that you’ll get over it, that maybe you’ll even adopt a new pet, but you don’t want to hear that yet. It’s only natural.

But it will do you good, it will reassure you.

Because, deep down, your heart will have heard and it will hold out hope: “It won’t be easy, but it will pass.”

4 – Acceptance to grieve for your pet

Another important step in grieving for your pet is acceptance. Accept the death of your pet, accept that it’s gone.

In fact, it means letting him go.

So, yes, we still had a lot to share with him, a lot to experience, and we wanted so much to tell him.

And until we’ve said everything that’s in our hearts, we won’t rest, because all those words and feelings will keep coming back to us, and we won’t stop thinking about them.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to write a letter to your pet, even 2, 3, in fact, as many as you like.

Talk to him. Tell him what’s on your mind.

Because communication isn’t broken.

So tell her about your best memories, tell her about your lack, your pain.

5 – Allow yourself time to grieve for your pet

In our society, we don’t like grief. It gets in the way of those who are doing well. So we’re put under pressure: “Quick, get over it fast!”

But, it takes time to mourn your pet, so don’t listen to people in a hurry and take your time.

Live each of your emotions.

At the beginning of my grief, I had so much anger and guilt, it was so strong that I didn’t even have room for sadness. It came later.

And, at first, I was afraid of all that anger and guilt. I could hear myself rehashing the same thoughts and speeches. And then I remembered that everything is a process.

Indeed, I’m not going to soothe my anger once and for all, I’m going to soothe it once, then it’s going to come back and I’m going to soothe it again. Over and over again.

It took several months for my anger to leave me.

But throughout the process, I knew it would take time and that one day, without my even realizing it, my anger would be gone. In other words, I was able to be serene despite my anger.

So don’t be afraid. Take your time. Live each emotion. Soothe it every time it comes to visit.

6 – Don’t forget to take care of yourself

Mourning the loss of your pet will take up a lot of space for a while.

It’s all we can think about, and it will take up all our energy and time.

And that’s normal.

That said, don’t forget to take care of yourself: eat, sleep, wash, go for a walk…

Even if your heart isn’t in it, even if it’s not easy, take care of yourself!

Because your body needs energy to cope with grief too.

So don’t forget yourself.

And, if you’re having trouble, ask those close to you to help you, to eat with you, to meet you outside, to go for a walk with you. Find solutions! You can do it.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Turning the page on your past: 5 simple exercises
Discover Grieving a relationship: 5 steps to get over it faster

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Rainbow Bridge: A Visit to Pet Paradise by Adrian Raeside

Adrian Raeside’s The Rainbow Bridge is a heartfelt book that comforts those mourning the loss of a beloved pet. The story revolves around the concept of the Rainbow Bridge, a place where pets go after death, and the joyous reunion that takes place there. Raeside’s work beautifully captures the emotional journey of grieving pet owners, offering comfort and hope through the idea of a peaceful and joyful afterlife for their furry companions. This book is a tender exploration of loss and the enduring love we share with our pets, a source of comfort for those going through the grieving process.

My husband and I recently lost our beloved dog. Although this book is aimed at children, we found it suited our situation. It’s realistic and therefore sad. We both cried. The playfulness of the animals and the bright, cheerful illustrations bring a much-needed lightness to a serious subject. We found the story meaningful, thoughtful and comforting. Recommended for anyone who has lost a furry family member.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself