Have you suffered a lot in the past and are you afraid of suffering again? In fact, you have a lot of fears, but you’re gradually becoming aware that these fears, far from protecting you, are actually preventing you from living your life to the full. In other words, they prevent you from being happy in your life. So what can you do when you’ve suffered too much in the past? Here are 4 comforting tips.

1 – When you’ve suffered too much in the past, you have to stop believing you’re weak.

When we’ve suffered too much in the past, we have the impression that this has made us so fragile that we need to protect ourselves from everything.

It’s even possible that, consciously or unconsciously, we tell ourselves that if we’ve suffered in the past, it’s because we weren’t strong enough to protect ourselves.

This is completely false!

In fact, it’s time you understood that there are things that fall into our laps, things that make us suffer. Sometimes our path crosses that of someone toxic who will make us suffer, sometimes life throws us an obstacle that’s hard to overcome: a bereavement, a redundancy, a break-up…

And it’s not your fault. It didn’t happen because you were too weak to protect yourself. It happened because it had to happen.

So breathe.

Now, I invite you to take a fresh look at yourself. You may have suffered in the past, but look, you’re still here, still standing. So, do you really think you’re as weak as you think you are?

In fact, you’re so much stronger than you think.

So stop believing your fears. And above all, stop defining yourself by what’s happened to you.

And define yourself by what you’re doing today in relation to what happened to you.

You’re reading this article and you don’t realize how strong you are, because yes, it takes a lot of strength to look for solutions to get better.

So you’re already on your way to getting better and finally being happy in your life. So, bravo!

2 – Stop believing that the past will replay itself

In fact, when we’ve suffered too much in the past, we live in fear that this past, this suffering we’ve experienced, will happen again.

So we protect ourselves with all our might. But we don’t realize that, by protecting ourselves from everything, we’re also protecting ourselves from happiness.

So, what can we do?

We have to realize that the past is over, and that life is not an eternal past that begins again. Life is only change.

So have faith.

And above all, realize that the more you protect yourself from suffering, the more you suffer.

Happiness needs us to take risks every day, it needs us to live life to the full.

And when we stop taking risks, when we stop living, happiness deserts our lives, and that’s when suffering can take over.

So stop giving it all the space. On the contrary, put your happiness back at the heart of your life! The decision is yours.

3 – When you’ve suffered too much in the past, you mustn’t become hardened, quite the opposite.

Too often, we make a mistake that prevents us from being fully happy in our lives. What mistake is that?

We confuse getting tough with learning and getting stronger.

In fact, when we’ve suffered too much in the past, it’s because we’ve encountered trials along the way and overcome them, one by one.

And, instead of feeling stronger, we actually become harder.

But to harden ourselves is to close our hearts, to live without feeling anything; in other words, we condemn ourselves to unhappiness.

In fact, I want you to understand that the trials you’ve encountered along the way weren’t there to harden you, but to teach you something and enable you to become stronger.

Because life never comes to punish you, it comes so that you can learn, grow and evolve.

Yes, life isn’t easy. It isn’t easy for anyone, no matter what you think.

But life isn’t easy, not to hurt us, but to teach us certain things.

In other words, there will always be trials in our path, and our role is not to let them destroy us and our joie de vivre and confidence. Our role is to become stronger and more determined than ever to be happy, whatever happens.

In fact, it’s when you really make that difference that you’ll no longer be afraid of suffering, and that you’ll be able to be at peace with your past.

4 – Don’t listen to your fears and live fully

The problem with having suffered too much in the past is that we no longer have that lightness, that confidence in life.

In fact, we’re constantly waiting and preparing for the worst.

And, without realizing it, we’re lost in our fears and doubts. We make calculations, each more pessimistic than the last.

We say to ourselves, “What if it happened to me, then I’d never get over it.”

Stop listening to your fears.

In fact, never mind tomorrow, live today!

After all, your life is today, not tomorrow.

So stop imagining tomorrow, it’s not important! Really, stop hurting yourself like that.

So, I wholeheartedly invite you to dive into the present. Do the things you love, right now.

That’s the secret: dive into the action that makes you smile and soothes you. Stop living in your thoughts. Really live!

Because you won’t know what tomorrow will bring, and you don’t need to. Just know that you’ll get through anything, just as you always have!

So don’t wait, live!

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Turning the page on your past: 5 simple exercises
Discover We don’t care and it feels good: 15 ways to say goodbye to guilt

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

The author studies the impact of past trauma on the body and mind. The book explores how individuals can overcome and heal from past suffering. Through an in-depth understanding of the effects of trauma, the author outlines the various therapeutic approaches and techniques that can help individuals reclaim their lives. This is the perfect guide for those who have suffered, offering pathways to resilience, healing and a renewed sense of well-being.

Both intellectually and personally, it is a true masterpiece and an incredible resource of unparalleled depth.
I highly recommend it!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself