I’m on edge all the time is a phrase that particularly speaks to you? And, you’d really like to find a way to learn how to calm down, because being on edge exhausts you. So here are 4 steps to follow.

1 – I’m always on edge: changing your inner voice

Being on edge all the time means having a self-talk that pushes you to want to do more all the time.

Yes, without even realizing it, we have thoughts that make us say: “Hurry up, I’ve got to hurry” or “I’ll never have the time”.

Then there are even more painful thoughts: “I’m not good enough, I’ve got to do more”.

That’s why we run around. In fact, we think that the more we do, the better we are as people.

This is what goes on in our heads when we say to ourselves “I’m on edge all the time”.

So how do we calm down?

I invite you to change your self-talk. First of all, that means you need to learn to recognize when you feel stress building up. And, when you feel yourself getting on edge, don’t judge yourself. Just stop for a moment.

Then repeat to yourself: “I have time. I am enough. I do enough.”

Repeat this to yourself until you feel the stress diminish.

In fact, to stop being on edge all the time, it’s essential to understand that you can change your inner speech, that it’s in your power. In fact, your thoughts are automatic and you can put your own spin on them.

Repeat to yourself: “I’ve got time, I’m enough, I’m doing enough” and let this new discourse guide you towards new, more zen and calmer behaviours.

2 – Change the way you look at the people around you

When we say “I’m on edge all the time”, chances are we’re pretty hard on others. Yes, we judge them a lot: they don’t go fast enough, they don’t do enough.

In fact, we project our inner discourse onto them: “I’ve got to hurry up, I’m not enough and I’ve got to do more”.

In other words, instead of solving our own problem, we make it everyone else’s problem.

And if you’re reading this article, it’s because you’re fed up with being on edge and want things to change.

That’s why I wholeheartedly invite you to take responsibility for how you feel. If you’re on edge, it’s not other people’s fault. You’re on edge because you’ve got an inner discourse and behaviors that drive you to it.

So how can you change this to calm down?

I invite you to put love and kindness back at the heart of your relationships.

In fact, don’t wait for others to “save” you, don’t wait for them to change for you.

And, as soon as you no longer have such expectations, you’ll once again be able to let love and kindness reign over your relationships.

After all, other people aren’t the problem. So breathe. Don’t add to it.

Yes, lay down your arms. You’re not in combat with anyone, not even yourself.

3 – I’m on edge all the time: change your outlook on life

What drives us to be on edge all the time? It’s probably because we have a vision of life that pushes us that way, running around, doing too many things, exhausting ourselves…

In fact, many of us see life as a burden, where everything is difficult and stressful.

But what if we could change our outlook on life? Indeed, it’s entirely possible.

Let’s understand that our vision of life comes from what society thinks life is. Our modern society is going faster and faster, doing more and doing it faster.

In fact, on television and in our conversations, we only talk about doing and having, and far too rarely about being.

What is being? It’s what we are. Yes, we are human beings, not human “doings” or human “haveings”.

That’s why, if you don’t want to be on edge all the time, I wholeheartedly invite you to regularly take a moment to refocus on your true nature as a human being and your vision of life.

I invite you to remember that you have nothing to do, nothing to prove, you have to be.

Life is not something to be lived at a hundred miles an hour, nor is it a place where frustration and lack have to travel with us.

Life is a gift. It really is. Every day, you get 24 new hours, and that’s a gift.

Remember! You’re not immortal and neither are the people around you. So get back to basics, back to being.

4 – Accept that it’s a process

When we say “I’m on edge all the time”, it’s because we realize that it’s become second nature. Yes, we are stressed and irritable people, even.

And, we doubt that we can really change.

That’s why I’d like to take a moment to tell you about myself. I’m one of those people who’s always on edge. I’ve been working on myself, my well-being and my happiness for years, and I’m still one of those people who’s always on edge (laughs).

So I’ve obviously changed. I’m happier, more serene. But being on edge is still part of me. In a way, it’s always my first reaction. I tense up, I get stressed. But now I know how to recognize these moments and I can review my inner speech, the way I see the people around me and refocus on the meaning of life.

What I’m trying to tell you is that you’ll always have moments when you’re on edge, but the more you learn to calm down by following the first 3 steps, the less on edge you’ll be.

Until one day, you won’t be on edge at all.

In fact, the most important thing is to understand that we don’t have to be perfect to be happy.

You simply need to get to know yourself, and in particular your weaknesses, your dark side, and learn to live better with it.

In other words, don’t fight against yourself. Learn to live with it, not against it. That’s the secret to happiness and serenity.

So, accept that it’s a process.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Change your negative thoughts: 6 positive habits
Discover I’m always angry: 3 golden steps to free yourself from anger

I recommend this inspiring book:

Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief by Claire Bidwell Smith

Claire Bidwell Smith’s book explores the often overlooked aspect of anxiety in the grieving process, highlighting the link between grief and the pervasive feeling of being on edge. It provides insights and coping strategies for the bereaved, helping them to understand and manage the anxiety that can accompany loss. This book is a compassionate guide for people seeking to manage their emotions and find a sense of calm amid the challenges posed by grief.

It’s a very good book, easy to read and comforting.
It will certainly help you put things into perspective.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself