Overcoming fear is everyone’s dream. Unfortunately, fear is an integral part of our daily lives: we’re afraid of growing old, afraid of dying. We’re afraid of the past, but also of the future. But what if it were possible to live happily without fear? Here are 10 exercises to help you free yourself from all your fears.

1 – Feel connected and stop being afraid of being alone

Overcoming your fears means overcoming your fear of being alone. We often feel alone: psychologically and physically.

How can we stop feeling alone?

We’re invited to look at the “cords” that connect us to everything around us.

Example: Take a sheet of paper. We can see: the tree, the sun, the rain, the woodcutter, the paper mill…

In our food, we can also see the sun, the rain, the seeds, the person working the land…

In fact, in everything around us, we can see the Universe!

We’re not alone, we’re part of the Universe in which everything and everyone has its place.

“You are not only this body, you are also your environment, you are all of it.

Let’s become able to see all the cords that connect our body and mind to everything around us, to the Universe.
What are our cords? Our father, our mother, the farmer, the sun, the water, the oxygen, the trees, the baker… We need the Universe and it needs us.

Overcoming our fears, especially the fear of feeling alone, can be done by regularly imagining how connected we are to others and to the Universe.

2 – Overcoming fears: talking to your inner child

Sometimes we feel alone and, above all, helpless. We think we’re worthless and can’t do anything.

This fear is fed by our thoughts. These thoughts are created by our inner child.

Let’s reassure our fearful inner child.
We can tell him or her that we understand and remember his or her fears. But today we’re grown-up, we’re adults, and that’s why we can take care of ourselves. We’re strong enough to do that.

3 – Having bells to free yourself from past fears

The past is behind us, inaccessible, and yet we tend to keep it with us in the present. This past, and especially the fears of the past, weigh heavily on our shoulders.

Let’s stop dwelling on our fears of the past and come back to the present moment.

Let’s talk about “bells”. The sounds or objects that bring us back to the present moment.

Example: Every time our phone rings, we take 2 deep breaths and refocus on the present. Every time we go up a flight of stairs, see a red light… These are bells. It’s up to us to choose them.

Overcoming our fears means learning not to remain prisoners of the past. Let’s leave the past in the past. Our life is different and we are different from our past. Life is synonymous with change, and we change every day.

4 – Letting go and returning to the present moment to stop being afraid of the future

“Fear of the future is only the projection of our fears of the past”.

Just as the past is gone and has no place in our present lives, so too does the future, because it doesn’t exist. Only the present moment exists.

Let’s learn to stop the flow of our thoughts as soon as they become a source of anxiety about the future. Let’s return to the present moment.
“I’m thinking, so I’m not really here”.

Coming back to the moment is not the same as letting yourself live. I’ve had that fear, maybe you have too. Here’s Thich Nhat Hanh’s pertinent response:

“Living mindfully in the present does not exclude making plans. It simply implies that you know there’s no point in losing yourself in worries and fears about the future.”

5 – Accept to stop being afraid of getting sick

“It’s in my nature to get sick; I can’t escape it.

As we come to terms with the reality that yes, we will get sick, two things happen.

The first is that we show greater compassion towards those who are ill. Indeed, our fear of illness, our non-acceptance of this reality, leads us to arrogance. That’s why we don’t understand people who are ill, and we think they’re to blame.

Having more compassion will enable us to have better relationships with others. And so we won’t be alone when it’s our turn to be ill.

The second thing is that we’ll have a healthier lifestyle. Indeed, when we repress our fear of illness, it becomes stronger and stronger in our subconscious. That’s why we need to distract ourselves.

Understanding and accepting that one day we may be ill invites us to make better choices today, and thus to maintain better health.

6 – Detach yourself and stop being afraid of death

“It’s in my nature to die, I can’t escape death.”

Overcoming our fears also means overcoming our fear of death. Most of us are afraid of dying. It’s perfectly normal. Yet there is a way to overcome this fear: detachment.

In fact, it’s our attachment to things and people that has made us increasingly fearful of death. It’s our feeling that all these things and people “belong” to us that keeps us here.

Serenity, happiness and joy are found in detachment. Yes, we love the things and people in our lives, but they don’t belong to us. They will disappear and we won’t be able to take them with us.

“I breathe in, I know that one day I’ll have to leave all the things and people I love. I breathe out, there’s no way I can take them with me.”

Let’s enjoy life while being ready to give it all up.

7 – Overcoming fears: remembering

Overcoming our fears also means overcoming our fear of remaining trapped in sadness. What if this emotion never ends?

Let’s think about all the good times in our lives. Let’s pull out photos if we need to.
What’s more, let’s make a list of all the conditions for happiness that are already present in our lives: a roof over our heads, food to eat, oxygen, the sight of a tree, the song of a bird, the smell of bread, the sun caressing our arm, the sight that lets us see around us, our legs that work, with which we can run and dance…

8 – Overcoming fears: anchoring yourself

Overcoming your fears also means learning not to be afraid of being afraid.

Fear is an unpleasant and powerful emotion. Indeed, when we’re afraid, it’s as if we’re facing a storm. Many of us have the reflex to “run away”. We flee by distracting ourselves with the TV, a book, a video game…

To stop being afraid of being afraid, we are invited to face up to our emotional storms. How can we do this?

Sit and breathe, concentrating on our belly, for 10 to 15 minutes.
Imagine ourselves as a tree. Just because the storm is shaking our branches doesn’t mean we’re not strong. Our trunk is solid, and so are our roots. We can weather the storm!

9 – More compassion to stop being afraid of others

We’re often afraid that others will hurt us, and when they do, we’re sometimes tempted to do harm in return. Unfortunately, doing so only makes us suffer even more, because doing evil makes us evil.

Conversely, doing good makes us feel good. So we can choose to respond to violence with compassion and listening.

How can we want to do good to someone who has hurt us?

The first step:

Let’s keep in mind and close to our hearts this reality: when someone causes us pain, it’s because they’re suffering. In fact, if they weren’t suffering, they wouldn’t have said or done anything to bring suffering to those around them.
This reality will help us to step back from the person and calm down. Let’s take all the time we need. Go for a walk or meditate for a few moments.

Then, as a second step, let’s return to the person and offer compassion and listening.

“When you remove the knife of anger and mistrust that is stuck in your heart, it becomes a bridge. If you can leave attachment, greed and anger behind, you begin to see the other shore, the shore of liberation. We must act with kindness and love, because when hatred and anger smolder within us, we can’t solve anything. We cannot overcome violence with hate and anger. In fact, we can only triumph over violence and fear with compassion and love.”

In fact, we can tell the other person that we are suffering because of their actions or words. Then, let’s ask that person for help, because we need explanations, we need to understand. And finally, let the person speak! Let’s listen from beginning to end, without judgment or accusation. Our only aim is to understand the person in front of us.

10 – A story to remember to conquer your fears

“Imagine two astronauts who go to the moon and, when they get there, have a problem: the rocket can’t bring them back to earth. They have two days’ worth of oxygen. There’s no hope of anyone coming down to save them. They only have two days to live.

If you were to ask them at that moment, “What is your fondest wish?” they would answer, “To come back to earth and walk on our beautiful planet.”

That would be enough for them; they wouldn’t want anything else. They wouldn’t think of becoming the boss of a big company, a famous idol or the President of the United States.

They would ask for nothing more than to be back on earth, walking the earth, enjoying each step as they listened to the sounds of nature, holding the hand of their beloved, gazing at the moon’s glow at night.

We should live every day like people who have just escaped death on the moon. We’re on earth now, and we need to enjoy walking on this precious planet.
“The miracle is not walking on water or fire, the miracle is walking on earth.”

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover Fear of change: 7 tips for accepting change
Discover Fear of making a decision: 4 things to do to make up your mind

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker

In this book, Gavin de Becker explores the innate gift of fear and how it serves as a crucial survival tool. By understanding and trusting our instincts, Gavin de Becker argues that individuals can overcome their fears and make safer decisions. The book provides guidance on how to recognize and respond to potential threats, offering a practical guide to navigating and overcoming fear in various aspects of life.

I love this book. I first bought a copy in the early 2000s, when I was still a student, and have probably bought it back 4 or 5 times since, as I keep giving it away.

This book really makes you think, and allows you to see situations from a different angle. By reading it, I’ve learned to trust my instincts (intuition) when someone or some situation doesn’t feel right. Gavin DeBecker does a great job of helping you understand how to read people and situations that, as advertised, could save your life or the life of a loved one. This book is definitely worth reading! I recommend it even to teenagers.

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself