A way of looking at things? Happiness? This definition of happiness may offend us, because we think that happiness is much more than that. It’s a whole bunch of criteria that have to be met. But what if I told you that happiness is nothing more than the way you look at your own life?

And if happiness were a way of seeing things…

Happiness is a way of looking at things, because there’s no one way of being happy…

Indeed, some people are happy because they do a job they love, others are happy because they do something they love after work, others are happy because they have a family they love and who loves them, others are happy because their family is happy… Or, still others are happy because others are less happy than they are.

There are lots of ways to be happy, but why are so many people still unhappy?

What if they don’t have the “right” way of looking at things? What if they see happiness in the “wrong” way?

1 – Making bad comparisons makes us unhappy

Perhaps the surest way to be unhappy is to compare our lives with those of others who are richer than we are, healthier than we are, more important than we are. We’re frustrated, envious, angry and jealous. Why not me? That’s what we repeat every day.

Comparing ourselves to those we believe to be happier poisons our minds and hearts. It’s impossible for us to feel happy.

So we’re invited to do the opposite. Yes, let’s compare ourselves to those who have less. It sounds terrible. But being unhappy is terrible too.

Instead of comparing ourselves to those who have more, let’s compare ourselves to those who have less.

Little story:
The character asks himself: why do the children in this poor country smile, but the adults don’t? The answer: because they’re still too small to make comparisons. They have what they have, and don’t think about what else they could have.

What’s more, the character remarks that people in the countryside are happier than those living in the city, still in the same poor country. This is because those in the city see every day what they could have, but don’t, while those in the country don’t see all these “temptations” and therefore feel better.

If you too feel you don’t have enough, get away from all those temptations. Do less window-shopping, watch less TV and commercials. And, above all, appreciate what you already have and imagine those who have less than you.

2 – Living in an idealized future doesn’t make us happy

Some of us are obsessed with the future because it promises something better. But, in the process, we forget to enjoy the present moment.

Unfortunately, our happiness can only be found in the present moment. Of course, it’s not always perfect, unlike the future we might imagine. But it does have something that the future will never have: it exists. And that’s the most important thing.

That’s why if you’re working on a project that’s close to your heart, if you have a dream, that’s great. Work on that dream, make it come true. Do things every day that move you towards it. But don’t just do that, live too. Live in the moment!

A “bad” way of looking at things: Living in fear of the future

Some of us feel good today. All is well. They’re satisfied. Unfortunately, they can’t savor their happiness, because they dread above all the moment when that happiness will end…

So let me be perfectly honest. Life is a cycle: joy gives way to suffering, and suffering gives way to joy. But we shouldn’t be afraid of this cycle.

In fact, we need to make the most of every happy moment in our lives. Taste them, savor them. Then, when things aren’t going so well, we can look back on them and say to ourselves: okay, things aren’t going so well at the moment, but I’ve already been so lucky. And I know that the good times will come again. So I’m going to keep smiling and keep moving forward.

3 – Living with death as an advisor is the right way to look at things

We’re afraid of death. We’re afraid of dying and of seeing our loved ones die. When you think about it, it’s quite an ordeal that life throws at us: we were born to die. But not only that… fortunately! We were born to be happy too.

And it’s our happiness that’s going to help us die. Because, when death comes for us or for someone we love, we’ll have collected moments of joy that will make us say to ourselves: I was so lucky. I regret nothing.

If we’re able to smile despite death, then we’ve known how to be happy.

I invite you to live life in this new way, to collect moments of joy so you can savour them one last time when death comes.

Get up every morning with the aim of having beautiful things to tell death when it comes. I want you to feel grateful for having passed through this world. So live, enjoy life. Surround yourself with beautiful people and enjoy their presence.

This new way of seeing things will encourage you to live your life differently, to perhaps stop wasting your time in pointless fights, in relationships that poison you, to stop doing things that don’t really contribute to your happiness.

Find out more:

I invite you to read these 2 complementary articles:

Discover How to savor the present moment and be happy: 8 great tips
Discover Making resolutions: 10 ideas for happy resolutions

I recommend this inspiring book:

The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams

In The Book of Joy, two influential spiritual leaders, the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, engage in a conversation moderated by Douglas Abrams, exploring the essence of joy and how to cultivate it. The book delves deeper into the idea that happiness does not depend solely on external circumstances, but is deeply rooted in each person’s perspective and approach to life. Drawing on their shared wisdom and experiences, the authors offer insights into how to find joy in the face of challenges, highlighting the transformative power of a positive outlook on life.

The Dali Lama and Bishop Tutu make an incredible pair to discuss the path to peace and joy. They are full of joy and fun. What a fascinating path for each of us to explore!

Thank you very much for reading this article.

If you liked it, let me know in the comments.

Take care of yourself