Are you in a relationship with a toxic person? Asking this question isn’t trivial: this type of person can be extremely harmful. A long-term relationship can bring a lot of stress and stress-related disorders.

So if you’re in any doubt, read this article through to the end!

In this article, you’ll learn:

What a toxic person is, and the difference between a toxic relationship and a toxic person;
How to recognize a toxic person, thanks to a test;
Why a person is toxic;
And why some people tend to fall into their traps;
5 tips to protect yourself and cut ties;
And 3 tips to avoid a toxic person at work.
Don’t wait any longer to find out if you’re in a relationship with a toxic person and, above all, to take action to protect yourself!

What is a toxic person?
What is a toxic person, or rather, who are toxic people? It could be a member of your family, a close friend, a colleague at work… or your partner. A romantic relationship with a toxic person is undoubtedly one of the worst cases, as you’ll see below.

Toxic people, or personalities, are usually harmful to several people at the same time. But not with all of them. Certain profiles attract or “activate” them more.

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS THAT A TOXIC PERSON IS HARMFUL?
A toxic person can be toxic in several different ways, which can of course (and unfortunately) be combined:

Criticism :
Jealousy ;
Manipulation ;
Blackmail ;
Double bind ;
Humiliation ;
Guilt ;
Psychological violence ;
Bondage ;
Physical violence…

The degree of toxicity varies from one toxic person to another. And even from one relationship to another for the same toxic person. For example, it can be expressed through “petty manipulation” or, at the other extreme, a narcissistically manipulative pervert-type personality.

TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OR TOXIC PERSON?
A toxic relationship is one between two people. These two people can be toxic for each other within their relationship… without being toxic for each other. They are not toxic in themselves; it’s their combination that makes them toxic for each other. The people involved in a toxic relationship often don’t know what they’re doing.

Whereas a toxic person is toxic with everyone. Just like a narcissistic, manipulative pervert who systematically destroys the other person. Toxic people need to be identified and shunned as quickly as possible!

Test: How to recognize a toxic person?
Are you in a relationship with a toxic person? Think about her and your relationship with her, about the last time you were together… And see, thanks to this test, how many of these signs you find in yourself and in the person you think is toxic.

In her presence, you feel :

Uncomfortable, stressed, under tension;
Trapped, stuck;
Fearful, waiting for inevitable criticism;
Unsure of yourself: questioning yourself a lot, blaming yourself for everything;
drained of energy…
The person you think is toxic tends to :

Be emotionally unstable and difficult to live with;
Sabotage relationships with others;
Be highly critical and judgmental;
devalue, denigrate and belittle others;
Mock, provoke, ridicule;
Be envious and jealous;
Wanting to control, dominate others;
Be aggressive and angry, threaten;
Lying, manipulating;
guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail;
Being systematically dissatisfied, complaining;
Pretend to be the victim;
Being hyper-demanding;
Giving lessons and advice (often unsolicited);
Being intrusive, meddling in other people’s business;
Not questioning self;
Blaming others;
Passive/aggressive communication style…
Why is a person toxic?
Toxic people are rarely toxic consciously, and even less so by choice. There are often three reasons why a person is toxic:

An inferiority complex. This isn’t necessarily the effect most toxic people give off, yet they tend to have very low self-esteem.
A feeling of insecurity. The toxic person often feels vulnerable and easily threatened.
Deep dissatisfaction. Experiencing a deep malaise, the toxic person often feels frustrated, with a wounded ego.
In fact, toxic people tend to blame others for their own emotional shortcomings, often unconsciously.

Toxic person: why does the trap repeat itself in a relationship?
“Have you ever asked yourself this question?

The “prey” of toxic people tend to share 3 points in common, which are really three lacks. The lack of :

Self-confidence ;
Self-esteem;
And self-love.
By not being able to love and value themselves, these people find it harder to give importance to their emotions and needs. They tend to seek love and validation from others. This can lead to emotional dependency, a fear of abandonment… and the risk of falling prey to a toxic person.

Now it’s up to you to dig deeper. Get to the root of the problem. Why is it so difficult to love and trust yourself? What limiting beliefs are trapping you in this kind of relationship with a toxic person?

How can you protect yourself and cut ties with a toxic person?
When faced with such a person, it’s imperative, not to say vital, to protect yourself. Here are 5 tips to help you do just that.

1 – BECOME AWARE OF THE PROBLEM
Often, the victims of a toxic person are as much in denial as their tormentor. It takes a great deal of self-awareness to realize that the other person is toxic… and to agree to reflect constructively on yourself.

Because, if the other person is toxic and you’re in a relationship with him/her, what does that tell you about yourself? With a great deal of kindness and gentleness, welcome the part of you that is hurt, and dare to look this problem squarely in the face.

2 – IMPROVE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM, THE BASIS FOR BEING STRONG IN THE FACE OF A TOXIC PERSON
Improving your self-esteem is an important step in dealing with a toxic person, both in the short and long term.

Working with a professional, such as a therapist or personal development coach, can help you to :

Understand your lack of self-esteem, confidence and love at root;
And take action to improve them!
Your priorities: develop self-love and self-awareness too. This will enable you to feel stronger, more in alignment. And thus avoid certain relationship traps, such as being under the sway of a toxic person.

3 – PROTECT YOURSELF FROM A TOXIC PERSON
If you’re in a relationship with a toxic person, chances are you’ve gradually isolated yourself. This is a typical strategy for toxic people, because the more you’re alone, the less :

Support ;
Recoil ;
And alarm bells rung by worried loved ones.
Dare to break your isolation and reconnect with your loved ones and family. Seek out people who care about you and make them your partners in this process of separation and protection from this person.

4 – OPEN UP
Imagine you’re a flower. A flower that has gradually closed in on itself. Fed the wrong fertilizer. Deprived of water and sunlight. But now it’s gone: it’s back in the sun, with the right ingredients to blossom. The flower opens up again!

Don’t hesitate to think about what you crave now, or what you craved before you were trapped in this relationship with the toxic person.

A hobby you’d like to take up again?
An activity you’d like to try?
A new field in which you’d like to learn?
Go for it! Feed on the positive. You need it. You’ve got the right!

5 – REPROGRAM YOURSELF, SO YOU CAN STOP FALLING INTO THE TRAP OF A TOXIC PERSON
Successfully distancing yourself and cutting ties with this type of person is a big step. But it’s not enough. You also need to put everything in place to avoid falling into the same trap again!

Working with a professional will help you to :

Understand why you fell into the trap of a toxic person;
Realize that this may not have been the first time;
Analyze the limiting beliefs you hold, which made it easier for the toxic person to escape;
Reflect on your vision of love, the couple and your relationship expectations.

How to avoid a toxic person at work?
If a toxic relationship in a couple or family isn’t easy to live with on a day-to-day basis, living it in the workplace also has its own very special difficulties! Cutting ties is not always an option.

Here are 3 tips to help you protect yourself and avoid this type of person at work.

• SET LIMITS WHEN DEALING WITH THIS PERSON
  Learning how to protect yourself from this toxic person is very important. You can do this by distancing yourself emotionally or physically. How can you do this?

Don’t let yourself be invaded.
Keep your distance.
Find ways of cutting short the discussion to gain mental and/or physical distance, depending on what’s possible at the time.
Decide what’s acceptable to you and what isn’t, and draw your own line.

• KEEP A COOL HEAD
  A toxic person is often stuck in an emotional knot, which impacts their emotional stability… and that of others. Now that you’re aware of this, don’t let it impact your emotional harmony. When you feel contaminated or invaded by her emotions, put a strong mental STOP right away.

Try to return to a more down-to-earth approach:

Reconnect with your body (to counterbalance the emotions and thoughts generated by the person);
Redirect the conversation to the factual side, without getting into the game, without trying to “win the game”.

• FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION
  Rather than focusing on the negative and the problems, focus on the solutions. Be concrete and action-oriented!

Don’t think about the negative impact this toxic person has or may have had on you. Instead, focus on everything you have and are going to do to change things and protect yourself.

Being in a relationship with a toxic person can have a major impact on your well-being and happiness. Whether you’re dealing with a toxic person or a toxic relationship: respect yourself and protect yourself!

What about you? Are you or have you ever been in a relationship with this type of person? Which piece of advice will you implement first?

How can you tell if you’re in a toxic relationship?
We know we’re in a toxic relationship when it doesn’t help us to move forward and feel good. In a broader vision, all relationships that are not lived in the space of the heart are dysfunctional relationships.

Why are some people toxic?
Some people are toxic if their wounds are raw, unexplored, and they reject their own suffering around them.

How to react when faced with a toxic person?
When faced with a toxic person, if we feel overwhelmed by their reactions, it’s because we’re resonating with what’s being sent to us: it may be necessary to take a step back, to continue our inner exploration, to find calm within ourselves, before returning, soothed, to this relationship.

What is toxic love?
Toxic love is love in which both people are not happy together.