Ah, those touching little reflections from perfect mothers, those condescending little questions that sound like reproaches or suggestions…. We’ve all experienced them, I think, and we’ve certainly all suffered from them at some point in our motherhood.

All those little phrases we hear from moms, young or old, who have experienced motherhood with their children, or from young women who don’t have children but think they know it all.

These frustrating, annoying, sometimes hurtful little moments are never easy to live with for an expectant or young mother who is judged as a “little inexperienced youngster”.

To get out of these situations and, at the same time, prevent some of them from recurring, I’ve put in place 2 tips that I’m sharing with you.

THANK THE PERFECT MUM FOR HER KINDNESS!

In the early days of my maternity career, when I didn’t have enough experience of being the perfect mum to cope with, I would listen carefully to what anyone had to say and then thank them for their kindness, while making it clear that I preferred to take professional advice.

This way of approaching things simply serves as a polite reminder to the person in front of you that you’re not an early childhood professional or a pediatrician, physiotherapist, etc., and that you don’t have to be a doctor or a nurse.

Very often, people admit to themselves that they have no skills, but they do have experience.

At that point, I’d take the liberty of reminding them that every child is different, and that I’d find the right solutions for my little man or woman.

Guaranteed effect: if you do it two or three times to the same person, unless they’re stubborn, they’ll usually stop on their own, considering that they won’t get anything out of you other than a referral to health or childcare professionals!

USE HUMOR AND SELF-DEPRECATION, THE ULTIMATE WINNING MOVE AGAINST THE PERFECT MOTHER

Once I’d become a little more confident and accustomed to my little reflections, I quickly realized that there were still those who wouldn’t listen!

You know, the people who resisted the first technique and who, whatever the cost, wanted to send me a message or teach me their way of looking at parenthood! There weren’t many of them, but they were tough!

Once I’d gained some distance and confidence, I responded to them with a sense of humor!

Some wouldn’t call it humor, but rather sarcasm, while others would see it as an opportunity to smile… It’s all a question of position and perception!

I actually used self-deprecation and pushed situations to the extreme to make these people understand that there was no need to continue lecturing me.

Here are a few examples:

ARE YOU GOING TO FEED HIM?
On the face of it, I don’t intend to let him howl with hunger!

HOW DID SHE FALL?
I think her left foot didn’t transmit the information to her brain in time for her right foot to move forward, unless you can think of another explanation?

STOP GETTING UP AT NIGHT AND LET HIM CRY, HE’LL UNDERSTAND!
I know my three-month-old son is very intelligent, but you’re telling me he’s a genius!

I wasn’t aware that he already had the ability to reason at his age, telling himself that if Mommy doesn’t come, you have to go back to sleep wisely, even if you’re hungry or embarrassed!

WHEN YOU’RE TIRED, YOU’RE LESS ZEN, AND HE FEELS IT, WHICH IS WHY HE DOESN’T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT.
But if he doesn’t sleep through the night, I’ll still be tired… and so he’ll still feel all that, and he’ll never sleep through the night. You’re scaring me: I’m in for a lifetime of insomnia?

A CHILD LIKES ORDER, IT ORGANIZES HIS BRAIN
Then mine and his father’s must never have been organized.

I think we’re going to sue his grandparents for endangering his future equilibrium. Do you think the statute of limitations has expired on the facts?!

I had so much fun sometimes retorting little jokes that.

Finally, and most importantly, don’t forget: to be able to respond to these reflections in a relaxed manner, you need to have managed to gain some perspective on the situation and some confidence in yourself and your ability to be a good mom!

So, are you ready to answer with a smirk?