We all experience moments of dissatisfaction with ourselves. Those times when we expect more, but our being chooses to offer so little. Moments when the expression of our weaknesses reveals an unpleasant image of what we’ve always believed or wanted to be. In the face of such difficulties, many people, without realizing it, find themselves prey to the quagmire of discouragement and doubt. Continuously enslaved by outside influence, they lose all self-esteem and can scarcely make any headway.

So what can you do to improve your self-esteem?

I’ve put together 4 tips that work, and that have made thousands of people and hundreds of readers happy. To find out more, read on.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem isn’t always measured correctly. To improve at something, we first need to understand it. Note that self-esteem is not pride, egocentricity, superiority or arrogance. Self-esteem is not about becoming better than others, or offering an image of yourself that stands out for its preponderance, invulnerability and expression of strength. When we talk about improving self-esteem, it’s not about becoming perfect or developing a high opinion of yourself. It’s when you begin to understand and accept yourself in both your weaknesses and your strengths. This implies that you are not the way external realities and opinions define you. This means you can appreciate your abilities and know your true worth.

In short, self-esteem is an inherent state of self-awareness and self-acceptance. It’s internal, a priori immutable and of an expression that doesn’t depend on circumstances. In other words, it’s the right recognition of your inner self manifested outwardly without counterfeit. It’s the judgment or evaluation a person makes of his or her own worth. It’s a fundamental element in the construction of all our lives. To improve self-esteem, understand that it’s made up of 4 pillars: self-love, self-confidence, self-view and self-acceptance.

To put it bluntly, you’ll have a hard time building your self-esteem unless you work on these pillars. So it should come as no surprise to learn that the suggestions that work are very much based on these pillars.

IMPROVING SELF-ESTEEM BY BUILDING A BETTER VISION OF YOURSELF
How do you see yourself? Perhaps it’s because you don’t see yourself in a positive light that your self-esteem is at half-mast. First and foremost, you need to learn how to build a better vision of yourself. How can you do this? Well, by measuring your self-image. Here’s an exercise to help you do just that:

On a sheet of paper divided into 2, write down 10 of your faults on the left and 10 of your qualities on the right. Do it in one go, without thinking for too long. What’s the result? Usually, you don’t think too long about your qualities. On the other hand, when you’ve had a lot of trouble identifying your qualities, and very little time identifying your faults, you should start by trying to improve your self-esteem. As a general rule, we find it hard to point out our bad points.

SO HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT IT?
Write down your list of qualities. Post it on your bedroom door (or elsewhere). Every day, add to it with other qualities; your small successes; the things you’ve been praised for; or the things that have made you proud. I promise: within a week, you’ll be improving the way you look at yourself, as well as your self-confidence. What else can you do to improve your self-esteem?

FOR BETTER SELF-ESTEEM: ACCEPT YOURSELF!
You have to accept yourself, just as you are, with your insurmountable limits.

A study carried out in Canada showed that those who tended to compare themselves to others generally had a low opinion of themselves. So it’s no coincidence that self-esteem also depends on self-acceptance. Unfortunately, many parents contribute to deconstructing their children’s self-esteem by comparing them to other children.

As a result, adults compare themselves to other adults. Colleagues are forced to compare themselves to their colleagues. Athletes to other athletes…when in fact, we’re all unique and can’t possibly be exactly like everyone else. And when we feel we’re not doing anything right because others are doing better than we are, we feel bad. In this case, it’s imperative to improve our self-esteem, otherwise it can lead to a whole host of problems.

Here’s another way out: repeat the mantra “I am unique. With my faults and my qualities”.

Repeat it every morning before you leave the house, before you go to bed, and every time you’re tempted to compare yourself with others. After a week, you’ll feel much better about yourself. Perhaps those closest to you are constantly remarking on some of your shortcomings. That doesn’t mean you’re a loser. Tell them: “I know it too. That’s just the way I am.

TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM, LOVE YOURSELF!
Learning to love yourself is the truest love there is. Whitney Houston

Remember that one of the basic pillars of self-esteem is love for yourself? The more you love yourself, the more your self-esteem and appreciation grow.

But how do I love myself, you may ask?

Think about what you do to love others, perhaps your children or your partner. You probably devote time to them. You provide them with what they need. And you’re often willing to make many sacrifices simply for their happiness. It probably takes a conscious effort, doesn’t it?

What if you made the same effort for yourself? Here are a few suggestions that can help improve your self-esteem:

Renew your wardrobe, hairstyle and shoes. Adopt a warmer style and add a little color to your clothes.
Take time out to relax and indulge yourself in small pleasures such as thalassotherapy, parachute jumping or anything else you can think of.
Sublimate your little flaws. For example, your curves are certainly bothering you, and you tell yourself that it’s a disaster not to be too slim. But did you know that 55% of men like women who are a little chubby? So what horrifies you is not a handicap, and you can rejoice in it. Do the same for all those little flaws you can’t stand.

ZWHEN SELF-CONFIDENCE LEADS TO IMPROVED SELF-ESTEEM
By now, you’ve probably figured out that to boost your self-esteem, you need to have confidence in yourself, in your abilities, in your potential. You can do this by changing your posture and body language for example.

BONUS TIP: UNDERSTAND THE REASONS FOR YOUR DIFFICULTIES
To improve your self-esteem, it’s vital to understand the validity of the trials and difficulties you encounter. Realize that your whole life is a quest for yourself and for others. It’s a constant process of self-discovery. Trials and difficulties will then come as tests for you as a person. As in school, their raison d’être is not your success or failure, but rather your evaluation. So there’s no point in letting them confuse or frustrate you. They’re just there to help you see yourself better, to confirm or deny your self-esteem. While you may succeed or fail in the face of trials, this does not mean that you are the embodiment of failure or success. It’s better to understand it that way and move on.

The best attitude to adopt in the face of difficulties is to learn from them and turn them into allies in improving your self-esteem. Once again, understand that self-esteem is not synonymous with perfection. It’s true that your successes boost your self-confidence and that your failures tend to produce the opposite effect. But this is only one reality, not the truth. The truth is what resonates deep inside you and on which you’ve built your inner being. This truth is the pledge of your self-esteem, and no reality can damage it.

IN CONCLUSION, BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM ON THE RIGHT FOUNDATIONS
Improving your self-esteem is like building a house. If you build the house on a flimsy foundation, it won’t stand the test of time and will eventually collapse. Similarly, if your self-esteem is built on the wrong foundation, it won’t stand the test of time.

“self-esteem is to the mind what food is to the body.”

If you have self-esteem, you are building your inner being. Understand that this inner being is what you really are, and that your true value emanates from it. By giving it the attention it deserves, you’ll discover the things that really matter to you and define your personality.

Getting to know your inner self, understanding it, loving it, accepting it and trusting it – these are the fundamental foundations for improving your self-esteem. Understanding these realities enables you to define yourself clearly in relation to yourself. It frees you from the dependence and influence born of what others say you are. It’s not that you become impervious to reproaches and appreciations, but the awareness you have of your identity enables you to value them without being formatted by them. This enables you to recognize your abilities without being full of them, and your weaknesses without being ashamed of them.

Becoming one with your inner self is the key to improving your self-esteem. It’s important to understand that this has nothing to do with egocentricity or pride. It just involves adopting an optimistic attitude to problems and a radical distancing from vices such as hypocrisy.

It’s up to you!