It’s not always easy to take a step back from situations we experience on a daily basis. Whether in the family, at work or in our relationship. Stress, our sworn enemy, seems to be part of all our lives. Even when we’re working on ourselves. All it takes is one spark to set off strong reactions: anger, tears, a knot in the stomach, rumination, insomnia… So how can you put things into perspective and avoid becoming a prisoner of what you’re going through? Here are some practical tips to help you do just that.

You may be an optimist by nature, you may cultivate gratitude or even meditate, but life isn’t always a long, quiet river… And very often, all this isn’t enough when faced with certain situations: you get carried away, stress rears its ugly head again or you feel guilty!

But did you know that taking a step back is not a human trait? It’s not an innate skill! So don’t worry: if you can’t put things into perspective, it’s because you need to learn to do so.

How can you put things into perspective by changing your mindset?

To do this, you need to understand that your worst enemy is your mind. It accumulates negative thoughts throughout the day. It’s a vicious circle: external stimulation leads you to see things in a negative light, to hurt yourself or get angry, and you end up seeing only negativity in what surrounds you and losing confidence in yourself. To evolve, you need to approach situations in a different way and change your mindset.
To do this, get into the habit of identifying your thoughts every day. Then step back from them. If they’re negative, immediately think of something positive. How can you do this? Think about the situation. It’s not all doom and gloom. You can try to see the positive side of the situation, or look at it from a different angle.

TAKE AN EXAMPLE:

This neighbor didn’t answer my “hello”. But maybe she’s had a tough day or didn’t hear me.
This person always sees things in the dark. But I know she’s been through difficult things in her past, so maybe she doesn’t have the cards in her hand to overcome her pain.
This colleague talks down to me and constantly tries to destabilize me. Is it because those close to him didn’t give him the self-confidence he needed? Playing the competition would be a way for him to feel better.
This person criticizes me for no reason at all. But if he does, he must not be very happy in his life…

People who are fulfilled and confident have other things to do.
Deep down, every person who makes you angry or hurts you does so for a reason. But if you can transform this negative emotion into empathy, you’ll be able to approach things from a different angle. Seeing the world through this kind of lens allows you to take control of the situation: you don’t always have to question yourself and take things too personally.

How can we take a step back in our relationships?

How can we put things into perspective in love? Sharing your life with someone helps you to progress. But when we care about someone, their remarks can hurt us all the more. In the case of a break-up, our pain can be heightened by the fact that the positive image this person had of us has disappeared with them. Self-confidence therefore needs to be rebuilt over time.

You may feel that you’re not good enough after this announcement. Or you may feel like you’ve failed somewhere, comparing yourself to other couples. Here are a few tips to help you put the break-up into perspective:

Don’t compare yourself to others: your story is unique. And if there are difficulties in this area of your life, it’s not the case everywhere. For example, your friendships are surely flourishing? Or are you excellent at your job?
Learn from what went wrong: If you’re looking for ways to put things into perspective after a break-up, remember that sometimes a story ends through no fault of your own. But you can learn from what happened. You’ll be able to say that the relationship helped you evolve. You’re probably a little more aware of what you don’t want any more, for example. Or you may have realized that you need to work on yourself to find someone who’s a better match for you.
Think about what you can do on your own: you’re a whole being. It doesn’t belong to anyone. So set out to affirm who you are: defend the causes you love, take up a hobby you enjoy, for example.
Surround yourself with positive people to talk to about it: this will help you to play down the situation.
Forgive yourself: this is an essential part of relativizing.

How can we relativize at work?

Situations that lead to frustration and anger are common at work. And if they accumulate, it can become hellish. Is going to work with a knot in your stomach and grumbling from Monday to Friday really the way you want to live your life? Here are a few tips to help you regain control of your working life.

MAKE A LIST OF WHAT YOU’RE PROUD OF:
You’re good at your job! If you’ve been hired to do it, that’s why. So focus on what you’re good at every day: the things you’re good at that make you great at what you do. You can even make a list every day of all the things you’ve done well.

GET AWAY FROM TOXIC PEOPLE:
Regaining your self-confidence with the first point will help you avoid being sabotaged by the toxic people who work alongside you. They often take great pleasure in questioning the things you do. So, if they tell you that you’re not doing enough, put things into perspective: you don’t have to work overtime or give your superiors more and more. If this isn’t understood, there’s always time to change employer or even become your own boss.

MAKE A DISTINCTION BETWEEN WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO:
Recognize the limits of your role within the situations you experience. A Tibetan proverb says: “If the problem has a solution, there’s no point worrying about it. But if it doesn’t, worrying won’t help”. You can’t lift all the world’s misery onto your shoulders, just as you can’t solve all the problems of the company where you work. Yes, there are things over which you have no control. It’s perfectly fair not to fight every battle. On the contrary, you risk burning yourself out.

“If the problem has a solution, there’s no point worrying about it. But if it doesn’t, worrying won’t help.” “

WE’RE ALL HUMAN:
If your colleagues or superiors impress you, you often want them to be satisfied with what you’re doing. This leads to stress, and sometimes to you becoming a slave to your work. If you’re wondering how to put things into perspective in such situations, remember that you’re simply talking to another human being. Just like you, he makes mistakes, he doesn’t master everything and, above all, he has no power over you. It doesn’t matter if he tells you otherwise.

Know that a job that causes you pain and stress is clearly not a good solution No, it’s not normal! You weren’t born to suffer 40 or more hours a week… So take a step back, and in this case, do what you’d advise your best friend to do: get out.

FINDING THE RIGHT BATTLES:
If you have strong emotions when you’re at work, if certain situations cause you frustration (you’d like to do better, differently, you don’t feel listened to), think about the situation. What are you fighting against? And above all, is it something you should be fighting for? For example, if you’re fighting your company’s financial problems, maybe it’s not your role as an employee? When you experience these emotions, ask yourself if it’s right for you to worry about it? Do what’s right for your role.

But how can you put things into perspective if you’re your own boss? In this type of delicate situation, even as an entrepreneur, surround yourself. There are people who can help you, and you can delegate certain tasks that make you anxious or exhausted.

But above all, remember that, as much as it means to you, it’s only a job… Is it worth putting your whole life on the back burner?