At one time or another, we’ve all had the feeling that we’re not living our lives, just enduring them. We could compare this feeling to navigating a river without direction. You let yourself go, you don’t impose yourself, you don’t take risks, you’re just a spectator of your own life. Even if this lifestyle brings a certain “comfort”, it doesn’t bring happiness.

In this article, we tell you how you can take charge of your life and lead a more serene and fulfilled existence.

Getting your act together: what for?

First of all, it’s important to remember that the feeling of having no control over one’s life affects many adults. Particularly those approaching 30, 40 and 50. We reach this stage by accumulating a sum of non-actions. As a result, the future becomes more difficult, and opportunities to take charge of one’s life less present.

We might wonder why some people don’t seem to encounter such difficulties. To this, the psychoanalyst replies: “There’s a quasi-biological give-and-take, an initial vitality whose disparities are clearly felt in newborn babies. And then there’s the family upbringing and ideology, which encourage self-realization to a greater or lesser degree.” So if a child is invited to share his opinion with adults often, he’s more likely to take his destiny into his own hands. The opposite is also true.

As mentioned above, a repressed existence is no recipe for happiness. Indeed, lack of self-confidence and fear of failure are obstacles to achieving one’s goals or dreams. These feelings can also get in the way of social relationships. However, this situation is not inevitable. Every day, people of all ages succeed in getting their lives back on track.

Recognizing what’s wrong and wanting to change it

Before you can take charge of your life, you have to realize the reality of the situation you find yourself in. Generally speaking, people who decide to take control of their destiny arrive at this stage after discovering the story of someone who went through the same ordeal and managed to pull through. It’s also important to remember that “problem” and “change” are intimately linked. The latter has no place without the former.

Change is about working on yourself. Because to change, it’s important to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. But above all, it’s important to identify the areas in which you need to take control and focus your efforts. The ultimate goal is to become the best possible version of yourself. It’s worth noting that change takes time. That’s why it’s advisable to take it as a task to be done day by day, without forgetting your objective. But you also need to adopt a mentality of steely determination.

Motivation and goal-setting

Any project is easier to achieve when you’re motivated. You can find your motivation by reading or listening to the testimonials of people who have taken charge of their lives. Ideally, you should find someone who can act as your mentor. That way, you can share your successes, feelings and doubts with them, and benefit from their advice. Another key to motivation is to surround yourself with positive people. A mentor can effectively fulfill this role. Building up a group of people to talk to about what you want can also help you stay positive, and even help you adopt an iron will. If someone you know criticizes your efforts and your goal, ignore them. Instead, focus every drop of your energy on moving your life forward.

In addition to your ultimate goal of taking charge of your life, you can set yourself other objectives. These will boost your self-confidence and help you control your fear of failure. As for the nature of these additional goals, they can be something you feel strongly about, or something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Anything is fine, as long as it helps you get back on track. Write your side goals down in a notebook with your final goal, and cross them out as you achieve them. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t achieve them right away. Tell yourself that the things that are worthwhile are the ones that take time and effort.

Prioritize actions and get them done

Achieving your goals must be done in a coordinated way, by prioritizing certain actions. In doing so, you’re bound to run into difficulties. Hang in there! You may fail at some point. Learn from it!

Fear of failure may make you want to postpone your plan to take back control of your life, but the best time is now. Gather all your willpower, regain your self-confidence and realize your desire to have a life of your own.

Letting yourself be guided by the vagaries of life isn’t bad in itself, but if it’s stressful and causes a slight depression at the time a little force the hand of fate. What do you think? Should you let fate’s unpredictable nature guide you, or try to forge your own?