How to recognize a manipulator in love? Am I in a relationship with a narcissistic pervert? I get these questions quite often. So today, I’ve decided to tackle the subject to shed some light on the matter. First of all, it’s important to know that we all use manipulation to get things done. It’s no big deal! But it does become problematic when we turn it into a modus operandi to gain control over the other person in a devious way. In a love relationship, the person being manipulated is often unaware of the situation.

But before you can confront a narcissistic pervert, you need to be able to identify him or her.

Manipulator in love: a real danger for you

At the start of a relationship, the narcissistic pervert does everything to put you at ease: he’s thoughtful, romantic, sympathetic and kind, often a little too kind. The partner hides his game for quite a while before revealing his true face. He waits for the right moment to begin his work of destruction. He waits until an event binds the two of you together (marriage, birth of first child). Between guilt, humiliation and control, the love manipulator does everything in his power to ruin your life.

The effects on the victim are manifold and can have terrible repercussions. Loss of self-confidence, depression, fear, discomfort, isolation and much more, the prey can be prone to many ills. In other words, crossing the path of a manipulator in love represents a real danger to oneself.

5 ways to identify a narcissistic manipulator in a relationship

At first sight, it’s hard to recognize a manipulator, because he’s a fine actor who knows how to put on a good show. They use a variety of techniques to keep their victims under their spell. If you feel you’re living with a narcissistic pervert, you’ll have to read between the lines to find out.

OVERLY JEALOUS
A narcissistic pervert can’t stand the idea of anyone else in your life but himself. So he won’t tolerate you being close to anyone, because he feels threatened. He finds it hard to accept that you have friends and are close to your parents. Your tormentor doesn’t want you to meet new people or be friends with your work colleagues. He makes a fuss or gets angry when someone close to you comes to visit or contacts you. He complains that you give more time and interest to others than to him. In short, he’s jealous to excess.

DISTANCING YOU FROM YOUR LOVED ONES
To achieve his ends, the love manipulator relies heavily on his victim’s isolation. He’ll do everything he can to keep you away from the people you care about. This way, he can play you for a fool without anyone noticing.

To recognize a manipulator, pay attention to certain details, such as his desire to be the center of attention. He’ll do anything to make you devote yourself to him and him alone. To get the job done, the narcissistic pervert will make nasty, disparaging remarks about your family and friends. He makes untruthful remarks about you to drive them away. In short, he uses stratagems to get you alone with him in the end.

KNOWS HOW TO BLOW HOT AND COLD
A manipulator in love is a toxic person with a gift for blowing hot and cold. Sometimes sympathetic, sometimes cruel, he can subtly have it both ways. He knows when to be kind, sympathetic and seductive to win his victim’s favor. Then comes criticism, humiliation and other low blows to make the victim suffer.

When he realizes that his victim has had enough and pulls away, he again implements strategies to regain his trust. Watch out for this type of behavior, as it can help you recognize a manipulator. This in no way means that he feels empathy. On the contrary, a narcissistic pervert is a cold, insensitive person who takes pleasure in causing suffering.

CONSTANTLY BELITTLES AND HUMILIATES HIS PARTNER
To gain control over you, the narcissistic pervert makes it his mission to destroy your self-esteem and self-confidence. So he’ll spend his time devaluing, humiliating and belittling you. It all starts with small, hurtful words and denigrations that seem like nothing. Over time, these become more frequent and more virulent. To recognize a manipulator, pay attention to details like these.

MAKES YOU FEEL GUILTY
A manipulator in love is an expert in the art of making you feel guilty. He has the techniques and strategies to make you think you’re at fault. The narcissistic manipulator knows what to do to make you feel guilty. He usually uses your emotions and weaknesses to achieve this. He can dexterously twist your words to his advantage. He’ll never tell you anything clearly, so when the time comes, he can use this communication failure against you. He’ll do anything to show you that you’re wrong, not him.

How to deal with a narcissistic pervert?

When you realize there’s a narcissistic manipulator in your relationship, it’s time to leave. It’s impossible to live for long with a manipulator in love and hope to be happy and fulfilled.

It’s a toxic relationship that will lead you straight into the wall. Your tormentor will never change, and you need to know that right now. But how can you leave a manipulator in love when you’re under his spell?

To successfully confront a narcissistic pervert, you need to :

free yourself from the emotional dependence that binds you to her.
overcome feelings of guilt.
put an end to all forms of emotional blackmail.
learn to say no.
avoid trying to change the manipulator in love.
complain and fall into the position of a victim.
find excuses for your partner’s behavior.