When the man or woman you love cheats on you with someone else, you feel betrayed and humiliated. Infidelity is a painful episode, very difficult to bear, for many couples. Misunderstandings, suffering, loss of trust, questioning, it usually leads to a break-up.

But not always! Some couples decide to forgive their partner’s infidelity. Do you have to accept infidelity to save your relationship? When you’re committed to overcoming infidelity, how do you go about it? Here are a few tips to help you through this difficult phase.

Can you forgive your partner’s infidelity?

Opinions on this question are fairly divided. For some, it’s categorical. Forgiving infidelity is out of the question. They believe that when a person truly loves, they can never go looking for someone else, no matter what the circumstances. For them, infidelity is an unforgivable and intolerable fault. They prefer to put an end to the relationship, because trust is lost forever and their ego is wounded. Even though they’re still in love and the partner seems to have regrets, they find it hard to draw the strength they need to move on.

Unlike them, others think it’s possible to forgive their partner’s infidelity. They believe that for the sake of love, solutions must be sought to move forward and give the relationship another chance. If others see this as a sign of weakness, they don’t see it that way. For them, it’s a true proof of love. Beyond the negative emotions, love can help you overcome infidelity.

MY PARTNER HAS CHEATED ON ME: SHOULD I FORGIVE HIM?
The answer to this question depends on a number of factors. Every couple has its own history and experiences. So you shouldn’t decide whether or not to forgive your partner’s infidelity by relying on the experience of others. What’s more, everyone has their own concept and definition of infidelity. While some consider cheating to be extra-marital sex, others believe that naughty messages, virtual relations or a kiss is. On the other hand, many will tell you that it’s normal to be cheated on or that fidelity doesn’t exist. Don’t listen to these opinions, because faithful men and women do exist, and it’s a lifestyle choice.

When you discover that the person you’re in a relationship with is cheating on you, you decide either to leave them or to forgive the infidelity in order to save your relationship. But first of all, it’s a good idea to take a step back and think things through. There’s no point in breaking up out of anger or deciding to stay with him/her in a hurry. Choosing whether to leave your partner or stay with him/her despite the extra-marital relationship is a decision that needs to be carefully thought through.

Nor should you accept a man or woman’s infidelity out of desperation, pride or emotional dependence. The desire to forgive infidelity must be motivated solely by love. So weigh up the pros and cons carefully before making a decision. If, after careful consideration, you decide to get over your partner’s betrayal, you still need to know how to go about it so you don’t regret it. The aim is to find ways of forgiving and moving on, while making it clear that this is not normal and that your partner must atone.

How to forgive infidelity?

If you’ve chosen to overcome infidelity, it’s because you’ve decided to question your self-esteem and accept to rise above it, for the good of the couple. To achieve this, you need to follow these few tips.

STEP BACK AND DISCUSS THE SITUATION
One of the most important steps in forgiving infidelity is communication. First and foremost, you need to discuss the situation and establish a dialogue within the couple to determine what prompted the other to go elsewhere. By trying to better understand the reasons, you’ll know how to act in the future so that it doesn’t happen again. Of course, nothing should justify infidelity, but it’s good to know what went wrong. What’s more, you shouldn’t make yourself feel guilty, even if you are partly responsible. Cheating on your partner is a choice your partner made in good conscience, whatever the reasons.

ACCEPTING INFIDELITY: RECEIVING A SINCERE APOLOGY
For someone to truly forgive infidelity, the person at fault must offer a sincere apology. The latter must acknowledge that he or she has committed a fault and undertake not to do it again. And he must prove it with sincere actions to save his relationship. So you can’t accept your partner’s infidelity unless he or she understands that he or she made a mistake, that he or she regrets it and that it’s not normal. Forgiving once doesn’t mean you’ll condone it forever. You have to let your partner know that you did it once out of love, but that doesn’t mean you’ll do it the next time.

GIVE IT TIME AND MOVE ON
Once you’ve made the decision to forgive your partner’s infidelity, there’s no going back and rehashing the past. Of course, you can’t forget your partner’s extramarital affair. But you mustn’t bring it up again and again, or worse, use it as a tool for manipulation or blackmail. It’s true that it’s difficult to regain trust, but it’s something that can be worked on every day if there’s the will on both sides. Overcoming infidelity doesn’t mean going on as if nothing had happened. It’s about letting go and finding inner peace. As long as you know you can’t go back and change things. So it’s important to focus on the present moment and forget the past.

THERAPY TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
To successfully forgive your partner’s infidelity, you can contact a professional. Thanks to his or her advice, which is objective because there is no emotional connection, he or she can help you get through this difficult ordeal alone or as a couple.

What to remember?

Accepting your partner’s infidelity is possible when it’s your first time. But it doesn’t have to become a habit to the point of trampling on your dignity and damaging your self-esteem. Many people who have been unfaithful really are able to forgive. But it’s not a simple or easy thing to do. There’s a real groundwork to be done. It’s not just a matter of saying “I forgive you”. True forgiveness should free you from holding on to resentments and grudges. But forgiving your partner’s infidelity doesn’t give you the right to feel superior to them and humiliate them at the slightest opportunity.

Do you think it’s possible to forgive infidelity in a relationship?