Interpersonal communication is essential to life in society. It’s an integral part of our daily lives, whether it’s through a greeting, a smile or a negotiation… Communication is the key to healthy relationships. It has an impact every time you interact with others. So communicating isn’t as simple as it seems. While everyone knows how to communicate with others to a greater or lesser degree, doing so effectively is an art in itself.

So if you’re having trouble getting your message across, it’s time to learn how to communicate with others.

Interpersonal communication: what’s it all about?

There are three types of communication. First, there’s mass communication, aimed at the largest possible number of receivers. Secondly, there is group communication, aimed at several targeted receivers. And thirdly, interpersonal communication, which refers to interaction between at least two people. The aim of interpersonal communication is to convey a message, establish a bond or persuade.

The exchange may be immediate, i.e. in the presence of both parties. It can also be indirect, via telephone, e-mail, letter or videoconference.

THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
Communication can be oral, based on words. But it can also be non-verbal, using gestures, postures and facial expressions. It unconsciously transmits your emotions of the moment to the point of sometimes betraying your words.

Communication is also accompanied by para-verbal language. Para-verbal language refers to voice intonation, timbre, rhythm, volume, and so on.

Finally, written communication is also important. Playing on visuals and words, it is essential to understanding the message.

To promote interpersonal communication, words, gestures and para-verbal communication must be synchronized.

THE MAIN ELEMENTS OF INTERPERSONAL INTERACTION
Interpersonal exchange involves five main elements:

a sender
a receiver
a medium
a code
feedback

The sender is the source of the communication. The sender sends a message to the receiver. This is done via a verbal, written or electronic medium. To do this, the sender converts his or her thoughts into language. The receiver decodes this language to understand the sender’s thoughts. Feedback occurs when the receiver sends its response to the message to the sender.

The link between interpersonal communication and neuro-linguistic programming

Communication plays an essential role in neurolinguistic programming. It enables us to better understand ourselves and others. As a result, we are able to adapt to the behaviors of those around us. As a result, we can adopt new communication techniques. These will enable us to create fruitful relationships. This is achieved by demonstrating flexibility in our behavior towards others, while preserving our authenticity.

The 5 fundamental principles of communication

Paul Watzlawick, of the Palo-Alto School, modeled interpersonal communication. He presents five fundamental principles.

First of all, it’s impossible not to communicate. Indeed, human beings constantly communicate through their behavior.

Secondly, communication has two aspects: content and relationship. The first is the information transmitted. The second is how the recipient perceives the communication. This can be prioritized or rejected.

Communication is simultaneously digital and analog. It combines verbal and non-verbal or para-verbal language respectively. Human beings mobilize these two modes simultaneously to facilitate interpersonal communication. One symbolic and the other intuitive, these two languages give a certain coherence to the message.

Note also that the nature of the relationship depends on the punctuation of communication sequences. Messages are interpreted according to each person’s personality and experience.

Finally, every communication exchange is symmetrical or complementary. We tend to position ourselves in relation to our interlocutor’s status. This may be his or her hierarchical power, age or social position. We speak of a complementary relationship in the case of a difference in status. A symmetrical relationship, on the other hand, exists when there is parity.

Interpersonal communication and its characteristics

According to communication specialists, people who have developed competence in this field have a number of characteristics in common. These individuals are endowed with unstoppable self-awareness.

Indeed, good communication is only possible when we have a clear vision of ourselves. We are then able to understand how others perceive us. Knowing ourselves – our personality, our motivations, our strengths and weaknesses – makes us more confident. In this way, we develop the power of persuasion that is essential for effective communication.

The other fundamental characteristic of interpersonal communication is that it is intrinsically rational. In other words, the information conveyed is intended to be understood. Consequently, it must include the ability to put ideas, thoughts or feelings into words. To do this, it needs to incorporate the right tools, including assertive communication, active listening and a collaborative mindset. But also :

clear verbal expression;
positive attitude;
receptive temperament;
non-verbal and para-verbal communication.

In addition to this, you need to consider that communication is constant. Even when you refuse to say something, you’re already communicating. Finally, interpersonal communication involves personal choice. It’s up to you to decide how you want to convey your message.

How to communicate effectively with others

Knowing how to communicate positively is essential, especially when it comes to high-stakes exchanges. First and foremost, it’s about arousing interest. In fact, nothing detracts from motivation and trust like disengagement. Likewise, a quality exchange ensures that the listener understands you, and paradoxically, understands you better. That’s why it’s so important to improve your interpersonal communication skills. Here are a few tips on how to interact effectively with others.

PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY DURING COMMUNICATION
The smartphone has radically changed the way people interact with each other. Although this technology has modernized communications, its excessive use has a negative impact on personal relationships. So watch out for nomophobia.

When you’re talking to someone, it’s polite not to have your eyes glued to your screen. This way, you’ll give your full attention to the person you’re talking to.

DON’T INTERRUPT THE SPEAKER – COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
In interpersonal communication, there’s a time to speak and a time to listen. When it’s your turn to remain silent, concentrate on what the other person is saying. Disturbing them while they’re speaking shows not only your inability to listen, but also a certain lack of respect. Similarly, don’t try to finish the person’s sentence. You may want to show her that you understand what she’s getting at. But you’re really indicating that what she’s saying isn’t worth listening to – you already know that.

BE HONEST IN YOUR INTERPERSONAL INTERACTIONS
Honesty is essential in interpersonal communication. It strengthens the communicator’s credibility. While not all truth is good truth, a small lie can cause a loss of trust.

Not only is a lack of candor intolerable, but once broken, trust is difficult to rebuild. Your relationships then become complicated to the point of anxiety and guilt. This has an impact on your non-verbal communication, which no longer reflects self-confidence. Yet gesture-related cues account for half of all personal and professional interactions. So it’s best to be frank.

GOOD INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION WITH GOOD QUESTIONS
Asking questions shows the person you’re talking to that you’re interested in his or her opinion. This communication technique is an effective way of involving them in the subject under discussion. What’s more, it energizes the debate and opens up new horizons.

COMMUNICATE WITH A SMILE
Smiles have an impressive power to win a person’s trust. It conveys good humor, friendliness and complicity. When you smile, you put your audience in a better frame of mind. The person in front of you will be more receptive to your message.

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION THROUGH EYE CONTACT
Like smiling, eye contact is a key element of body language. You can express much more with your eyes than with words. The gaze is useful for expressing thoughts and emotions. It’s also a way of capturing attention and giving importance to the person you’re talking to. So you can leave a better impression.

When you’re talking to someone, it’s a good idea to maintain eye contact to make them more receptive. There’s nothing more unpleasant than someone talking to you without looking at you.

DISPLAY AN OPEN ATTITUDE FOR THE BENEFIT OF COMMUNICATION
For successful interpersonal communication, it’s a good idea to display open body language. In addition to smiling and making eye contact, show signs of openness. This means :

a relaxed posture,
a straight back,
uncrossed arms and legs,
ample movement.

COMMUNICATE UNDER THE RIGHT CONDITIONS
To communicate successfully, you need to do so under the right conditions. Avoid starting a conversation when you’re faced with an obstacle. This can be :

noise,
anger,
fatigue,
hunger,
depression.

In addition to these tips, following a training program can also help you master interpersonal communication. It includes a multitude of exercises to help you become aware of your shortcomings. This makes it easier to find solutions to improve the way you communicate.

What are your techniques for communicating well with those around you?