“Sometimes you have to do things the hard way”? This phrase may seem barbaric at first glance. But it’s not. It invites us not to harm ourselves, but rather to act against our desires to do what’s best for ourselves or for others. What exactly does this mean? Why do we need to do it, and how do we get there? I’ve decided to explore these questions in this article.

What exactly does it mean to force oneself?

To understand it, we first need to place it in context. And we can’t do that without explaining an important concept: drives. What’s that got to do with anything? Well, these are the impulses that drive us to act in one way or another to satisfy our desires (to eat, to smoke, to make love, to kill). They can be conscious or unconscious, and remain a psychic reality that develops at all levels of life. The tricky thing is that they can quickly become an obstacle to personal fulfillment, which is why we need to do something to control them.

Indeed, an impulse has the power to render a desire uncontrollable and turn it into an obsession. This can lead to problems of imbalance, addiction or obsession. For example, the obsession to satisfy the libido, to kill, to eat (food drive), to smoke, to commit suicide or to drink. In many cases, the urge leads to dependence and a feeling of lack.

It’s important to succeed in channelling our desires in order to dominate this energy that wants to dictate our laws. To achieve this, the individual must learn to force him/herself. This means not satisfying all your desires if this is detrimental to yourself, others or society. He must learn to control himself, to overcome his emotions, his desires, and his lack of motivation to act.

Why do we need to control our desires?

For a variety of reasons, we sometimes indulge in laziness, procrastination and meaningless hobbies. We comfort ourselves in a comfort zone that prevents us from achieving our goals.

On the other hand, negative thoughts and emotions sometimes drive us to act in an irrational way. For example, certain events provoke anger and contempt. In this context, we are dominated by the urge to do ourselves justice. If we don’t keep our anger in check, this resentment will lead us to quarrel or do harm.

The need to force oneself therefore appears to be the key to self-discipline. This principle enables us to combat disorder, disorganization and dependence on our impulses. To this end, it is linked to rigorous planning and self-control. It’s the last resort for becoming a persevering being capable of realizing your dreams. It teaches you to act with your goals in mind.

It should be added that to achieve efficiency and improvement in any field, you have to do something about it. This positive attitude is useful in all aspects of life. In other words, its importance is not negligible in married life, professional life, academic success and human relations. You’ll take actions that make you successful.

Thanks to it, you can limit the effect of what blocks you and cancel out their influence on your daily life. No longer will anyone tell you to wake up on time, let alone do this or that… In other words, you’ll be much better able to assume your responsibilities without external pressure.

How to force oneself

As I’ve explained at length, force oneself is about pushing yourself to achieve a goal or become a better person. It’s called “force” oneself precisely because it’s painful, difficult and requires a great deal of effort. Imagine you’re craving chocolate while you’re on a diet. You do everything in your power not to collapse. You’re bound to feel pain. However, it’s mental because you’re acting against a desire? So that’s what it’s all about, and here are a few effective tips to help.

TO FORCE YOURSELF, FIRST IDENTIFY YOUR WEAK POINTS
What are the situations in which, by acting to satisfy a particular desire, you are harming yourself or others? This examination will enable you to identify the things that create dependency, the types of impulsive reactions or negative behaviors you have. Getting to know yourself better will help you discipline yourself. You won’t be able to correct anything if you can’t understand exactly what’s wrong. Impulse wants to lead you into excesses and frivolities. So you need to learn to discern clearly what is impulse and what is not.

SET YOURSELF KEY OBJECTIVES
Forcing oneself means first and foremost clearly defining your priorities and setting yourself key objectives to achieve. This must be done in every area of your life. Goals and the motivation to achieve them help us to discipline ourselves much more. Keeping focused is a resource for not letting yourself be distracted and controlled by the wrong things. If your goal is to stop indulging in angry outbursts, you’re going to have to learn to control this emotion little by little by working at it. Is your current desire to watch TV or stroll around on social networks when you’ve got an assessment the next day? What should you do?

ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU ACT
Clearly, to control your impulses, it’s vital to stop acting without thinking. From then on, you need to constantly monitor yourself. This will enable you to study the consequences of your actions and words. You’ll avoid anger and the unpleasant consequences that follow, such as arguments, revenge, hatred, violence and so on. Discipline means taking a step back and weighing up the advantages and disadvantages of your decisions. Someone has just verbally abused you, and you have a strong urge to punch him, but if you “force yourself”, you can restrain yourself from doing so because it could be harmful to you.

YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM CERTAIN THINGS
It’s an obsessive urge you want to get rid of, so free yourself from everything that makes you think of it. In a specific, recurring case, to get rid of libidinal obsession, you need to stay away from erotic films, images and texts. If you still feel the urge, find other interests. Sport, walking and music are excellent allies in this respect.

PLANNING AHEAD
Planning is also an important technique for forcing yourself. If you’re an impulsive spender, for example, you need to make a list of your daily tasks and purchases based on your goals. With this list, you’ll know what you’re going to do when. This is the key to controlling your spending urges and many others. This principle of self-discipline will make it easier to manage your income in a pleasant way. In short, forcing oneself is one of the secrets to self-fulfilment. So it’s vital that everyone learns how to control their impulses.